President Lucy Declares Strait of Football Open

what exactly is going on?

hey, folks. I have a very early morning obligation today that I can’t avoid, so I haven’t time to crank out anything even close to a full-length post. sorry!

but here are a few quick hits.

imagine busting your ass for four long years, and when it’s finally time to graduate from West Point, the shit-kazoo who delivers the commencement speech is a piss-drunk Fox News weekend chat-show dunk-tank clown.

“you can’t throw your pronouns at the enemy.”

what the fuck is this gin-soaked rummy’s problem? what gaping hole in his soul compels him say this shit? show us on the doll where pronouns hurt you, bro.

can you believe that a grown-ass adult is this triggered by a pronoun? it’s embarrassing that the head of our entire nation’s military is this much of a weak and fragile toddler.

pronoun this, Skateboard Boy.

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it turns out that the reason Preznit Fuckwit couldn’t attend the wedding of number one failson Cokey McSniffles is that he needed to be in the White House so he could spend the day shitposting.

“We all miss the Huckster!”

we do? the Huckster? dude’s name was Hulk Hogan, not Huck Hogan. what a moron.

I think we know who the huckster is. it’s the dipshit in the Oval Bordello who never stops trying to tell us snake oil.

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oh, and there’s some kind of peace deal with Iran that’s imminent. or there isn’t. and it’s a really good deal. or it’s not. because as usual, Donny’s saying one thing and Iran is saying something else.

“Iran’s Fars news agency dismissed U.S. President Donald Trump’s announcement of a reopening the strait under a nearly finished deal as ‘incomplete and inconsistent with reality.’”

oh, huh. now feast your eyes on this bit, also from Fars News.

Brutal statement from Iran’s state-aligned Fars News: ‘It should be noted that American officials have acknowledged in multiple messages to Iran that Trump's tweets are primarily for promotional purposes and media consumption within the United States, and they have recommended that no attention be paid to these statements.’

how awesome — because nothing says ‘we’re a serious country’ more than your own diplomats having to admit that the president is a colicky piss-baby who should be ignored.

it’s all so eternally embarrassing.

so what’s in this deal? here’s what Al Jazeera is reporting.

According to Al Jazeera, the Iran deals includes unfreezing billions in Iranian funds, lifting U.S. blockade, pulling U.S. forces away, reopening strait of Hormuz though with tolls to Iran, and allowing Iran to keep its enriched uranium. This would be a total U.S. surrender.

The New York Times confirms most of what Al Jazeera is saying (though the Times reports that Iran will not be charging tolls), and reveals that the amount of unfrozen Iranian assets would be $25 billion.

so, are you telling me that Donny, acting first and thinking never, blundered into an unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran, flushed at least thirty billion dollars down the shitter, wasted most of our missiles, got the Strait of Hormuz shut down, sent the price of oil to the stratosphere, destabilized the entire Middle East — and then waved the white flag of surrender and agreed to let Iran keep its enriched uranium?

are you fucking serious?

that’s a worse deal than the Obama-negotiated one that Donny ripped up years ago, because he was jealous of a black man’s accomplishments.

all I know is that the MAGAverse is tearing itself to pieces over this Schrödinger of a deal right now, and I am so here for it.

let me leave you with these words of wisdom, spake by one Donald J. Fuckwit, six years ago on January 3, 2020.

“Iran never won a war, but never lost a negotiation!”

good to know, dumb-ass.

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let’s have us some Daily Claudia.

today’s Sunday, so here’s Ms. Spouse enjoying brunch on the patio, September 30, 2018. remember newspapers?

have a great Sunday, everyone. don’t forget to miss the Huckster.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.