oh gee, look who’s corrupt as fuck

also: Donny whines at a fundraiser and Kristi shits the bed on Face the Nation

MAGA judges sure love to be handed free shit. think of it as judicial welfare.

look at Sam Alito. his plutocrat pals are continually loading him into their private jets and shuttling him off to one luxury all-expenses-paid vacation after another. does Fishin’ Trip Sammy pay back his benefactors by ruling the way they tell him to? does Donald Trump shit in a courtroom?

Clarence Thomas is such a greedy fuckface that he threatened to quit the Supreme Court if someone didn’t augment his “measly” Court income. Nazi memorabilia aficionado Harlan Crow stood up and said “I got this, bro” and for the last two decades has been pretty much underwriting Clarence and Ginni’s entire lavish lifestyle.

well, you’ll never guess who else just got caught with her hand in this fun cookie jar: Number One Trump Fangirl Judge Aileen “Classified Documents? I Don’t See Any Classified Documents” Cannon.

you see, there’s a federal ethics law that requires judges to disclose all gifts they receive. NPR started looking into judges who have been flouting this rule and — uh-fucking-oh — there was Judge Fangirl, right smack in the middle of the list.

Cannon, herself a Trump appointee, attended two seminars at a luxury resort in Montana, but the privately funded seminar disclosures for both events were not posted online until NPR began making inquiries.

awesome, just awesome. Aileen got caught red-handed and when asked to comment, the required disclosures magically appeared, just like that — and then she tried to pull this fast one:

Clerk of court Angela Noble told NPR in an email that the absence of the disclosures was due to technical issues and that “Any omissions to the website are completely inadvertent.”

yeah, “technical issues,” right. technical, as in “technically, Donny says I’m his favorite judge and laws don’t apply to me, either.”

what do you think would happen if it came out that, for example, George Soros took Judge Merchan out for a cheeseburger, and Merchan didn’t report it?

all hell would break loose, that’s what. the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex would shit a massive brick. Fox News would turn it into a months-long scandal. Donny Trump would immediately file for a mistrial, and then never shut the fuck up about rigged Democrat judges for the rest of his miserable life.

so where is our worthless corporate-controlled media? because as of this morning, exactly two outlets have covered this story.

New York Times, are you out there? Washington Post? Los Angeles Times? anyone? hello?

crickets. fucking crickets.

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speaking of Sundowning Grandpa ShitzInPantz, he had the entire weekend off from his Manhattan trial. so, did he get any campaigning in? fuck no — he spent Saturday and Sunday holed up in his dilapidated Florida golf motel.

Saturday, Donny held a fundraiser — and holy cow, the degenerate dipshit was a whining trainwreck from the word go.

At another point, he complained about having to take so many pictures with donors and told people in the crowd that if they didn’t get a picture, it was because they didn’t give enough money. He also claimed that a wedding at the property got preference over the donors because the wedding was paying more per person to be there.

what a petty little shitstain. this was a $40,000-a-plate event, by the way. imagine shelling out forty large with the promise that you’ll get to rub elbows with Dear Leader — and then being told to your face, fuck you. no photo for you, cheapskate.

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meanwhile, houndicide advocate Kristi Noem took one look at the hole she was in — and went out and got herself a way bigger shovel.

the latest contretemps has to do with Kristi’s weird-ass claim that she stared down Kim Jong Un — which of course, she didn’t, because she never met the guy.

so why put it in your book that you did? that’s what Face the Nation host Margaret Brennan wanted to know.

Margaret Brennan: “you talk about meeting some world leaders, and one specific one. quote, ‘I remember when I met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I’m sure he underestimated em, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants (I’d been a children’s pastor, after all).’ did you meet Kim Jong Un?”
Noem: “you know, as soon as this was brought to my attention, I certainly made some changes, and looked at this passage. I’ve met with many, many world leaders. I’ve traveled around the world.”
Brennan: “so you did not meet with Kim Jong Un?”
Noem: “I've met with many world leaders. I'm not going to talk about specifics.”

these “many world leaders,” Kristi — are they in the room with us right now?

Noem laid the blame for the lie squarely on her book’s ghostwriter, claiming that they put it in there and no one told me until all you people started asking me about it. I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t know.

which is a fucking crock, because here’s Kristi, on Instagram, bragging about narrating the audiobook — over a month ago.

so to recap: Kristi never read the book her ghostwriter wrote, except she did read it when she did the audiobook, and oh, and the parts about enthusiastic dogslaughter? yeah, those she definitely wrote herself. and she’d to it again, happily, goddammit.

and none of this is Kristi’s fault, mind you — no, it’s the fault of the liberal media, for expecting her to account for all her clownshoes lies.

This morning in our 15-minute interview, Margaret Brennan interrupted me 36 times — once every 25 seconds on average. But when liberals like @gretchenwhitmer and @SpeakerPelosi are on @FaceTheNation, they aren’t interrupted once. In the fake news media, there are two sets of rules, and conservative are always treated differently. That's why Americans don't trust the Fake News.

oh, boo fucking hoo. the reason Gretchen Whitmer and Nancy Pelosi aren’t interrupted when they speak is because they’re not vomiting out one ludicrous fib after another.

MAGA is now a contest to see who can be the whiniest crybaby imaginable.

look, Kristi — you want to be coddled as you lie your surgically-enhanced face off? stick to Newsmax. they specialize in that.

hey, here’s a headline for the Shit-Show Hall of Fame.

Kristi Noem Suggests Biden’s Dog Should Have Been Killed, Too

The South Dakota governor, defending her tale of shooting and killing her family’s dog, suggested that President Biden’s German shepherd, Commander, had merited a similar fate.

that’s right, Kristi Noem didn’t just spend her time on Face the Nation babbling about the “many world leaders” she hangs out with — she also implied that if Joe Biden’s dog Commander were hers, he too would have ended up on the wrong side of a gravel pit, pronto.

Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota, already under fire for killing her family’s 14-month-old dog and boasting about it, on Sunday took aim at another family’s pet: Commander, President Biden’s bite-prone German shepherd.

with each passing day, Kristi Noem becomes ever more toxic. when her political career inevitably fizzles out, and the calls from cable show producers stop coming, here’s a can’t-miss business opportunity for her:

Kristi Noem will shoot your dog in the face.

have gun, will travel.