shit, it must be noted, is fucked up and stuff.
shit, in fact, has been fucked up and stuff for a good long while now — and the problem with shit being fucked up and stuff for this long is that eventually, you forget that shit isn’t supposed to be this fucked up.
shit being fucked up and stuff becomes normalized. so it’s important for us, every now and then, to step back, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves: none of the fucked up shit going on right now is normal.
it’s not normal for a president of the United States to have no clue how the First Amendment works.
“when you have a network and you have evening shows and all they do is hit Trump … they’re licensed. they’re not allowed to do that.”
bzzzt! wrong answer.
that was Donny last night, on Fuckface Force One, flying home from his royal playdate with the King and Queen of England. Dear Leader so very very sad right now, because late-night comedians have been mocking him in their opening monologues — and because Donny is the world’s biggest diaper-baby, he conflates this two-minutes-a-night mockery into ‘all they do is hit Trump.’ oh please, boo fucking hoo. get over yourself. not everything is about you.
listen to him whine about how ‘they’re not allowed to do that.’
pro tip: that’s not how this works, bro. that’s not how any of this works.
yes, they are allowed to do that.
the way it works in America is that if someone did want to create an entire show that did nothing but mock Donny, the First Amendment says go for it.
in fact, back in 2001 — when George W. Bush was president — Comedy Central aired a show called That’s My Bush.
its whole premise was that George W. Bush was a moron. spoiler alert: they’re weren’t wrong.
did it bother Bush that there was a TV show devoted to mocking the shit out of him? we have no idea. he never said a word about it. George W. Bush was a lot of things — very few of them exemplary — but he wasn’t a thin-skinned baby.
anyway, That’s My Bush wasn’t very good. in fact, it sucked, and it got canceled after eight episodes. that’s how it’s supposed to work: the invisible hand of the marketplace gave That’s My Bush the finger, and it was gone.
by the way, the creators of That’s My Bush went on to create another show — one that’s running right now on Comedy Central. you may have heard of it. its current premise is that Donny is fucking Satan.
normal presidents can laugh at themselves. you know who was super fucking good at it? Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
can you imagine Donny poking fun at himself? absolutely not. he’s too weak and fundamentally broken inside. when Donny says ‘thanks, Trump,’ he’s being dead serious.
that’s not normal.
here’s something else that’s not normal. it’s not normal for the Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission to gloat over blackmailing a network into shitcanning one of its stars.
imagine being this proud of posturing like a cheap, penny-ante mobster.
every one of Donny’s shitgoblins believes their primary job is ‘twitter troll.’ you would think that the FCC Chair would have better things to do at 11:43 in the evening than be searching for Project 2025 posts to respond to, but apparently that’s how our not-normal ‘public servants’ spend their time.
hey Brendan — Eric Swalwell has a message for you.
“I want to make it clear. there’s going to be a Democratic majority in just over a year. to the FCC chairperson and anyone involved in these dirty deals: get a lawyer and save your records, because you’re going to be in this room answering questions about the deals that you struck, and who benefited, and what the cost was to the American people.”
accountability. it’s what’s going to be for breakfast — and, frankly, I can’t wait. I’m starving.
hey, you know who else banned the comedians who mocked them? of course you do.
oh my god, society rabble and intellectual snobs were laughing at Dear Führer. the horror.
doesn’t “society rabble and intellectual snobs” sound exactly like the kind of phrase that Obergruppenführer Stephen Miller would shriek on Fox News?
speaking of which: this is one thing that definitely isn’t normal. a vampire shouldn’t be allowed in the presence of the King and Queen of England — and Karoline Leavitt, can you please put those things away? you’re at a royal function. it’s not dollar beer night at Motel-a-Lago.
who dresses you people?
for fuck’s sake, Nosferatu McGoebbels, what is going on with your waistline?
maybe cut down a little on eating live bats after midnight, bro. it’s bad for your cholesterol.
here’s your hero of the day: Stephen Colbert. here’s how Stephen opened last night’s show.
“welcome one and all to The Late Show. I’m your host, Stephen Colbert. but tonight, we are all Jimmy Kimmel. yesterday, after threats from Trump’s FCC chair, ABC yanked Kimmel off the air indefinitely. that is blatant censorship, and it always starts small. remember in week one of his presidency, Gulf of America. call it Gulf of America, sure, it seems harmless, but with an autocrat, you cannot give them an inch. and if ABC thinks that this is going to satisfy the regime, then they are woefully naive — and clearly, they have never read the children’s book, ‘If You Give a Mouse a Kimmel.’ and to Jimmy, just let me say, I stand with you and your staff, one hundred percent, and also [holds up Emmy Award], you couldn’t let me enjoy this for like one week? come on.”
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
844 / 933
Ms Spouse, last night: "what are you going to write about tomorrow?"
me: "no clue. I doubt I can write about Jimmy Kimmel two days in a row."
ha ha!
Who else thinks that Kimmel will be even more popular than ever after this?
I'd like to see Jimmy, Stewart, Colbert, Fallon...all of these brilliant minds team up and do something that shuts the diaper load down once and for all. A girl can dream.