180 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—

I ain't got one! there isn't a single news notification on my phone right now. so you tell me, commenters — what's going on in the world that I'm missing?

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I mean, unless you consider Prince Harry moving his family back to the UK to be newsworthy. is there any reason why we should care?

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/20/world/europe/harry-meghan-britain-return.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Tess's avatar

No! I read that King Charles is having health issues and wants to see his grandchildren. So people should mind their own damn business! lol

Linda Weide's avatar

King Charles wants to see his grandchildren, but will not return title or security to them, so I would be happy to leave him alone and see England remove the monarchy of any meaning other than titles they give themselves.

Miselle's avatar

I've always felt sorry for Harry--any of them actually. Yeah, like the former prince, there are some REAL ASSHOLES in there, but imagine being born into a family where you might (MIGHT) be a decent human being but you will NEVER KNOW A MOMENT OF PEACE. Ever.

That sounds more like hell on earth to me.

rlritt's avatar

Idk. Living in unimaginable wealth without ever having to work or put up with an asshole boss. I could get used to it.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

Prince Harry's visa status is in question since he admitted to doing drugs in his memoir. The State Dept is fucking with him so I think rather than let DonOld and his merry band of idiots create more chaos in their lives they decided to leave instead.

Lady Emsworth's avatar

"The State Department is fucking with him"

Yes.

Because the British Prime minister upset trump by refusing to play "War" with him - so now Brits AND the Royal family are in line for revenge.

Linda Weide's avatar

They already have enough scandal with Andrew and his Epstein aided child rapes, and probably would prefer Harry to be on a shorter leash and perhaps influence his children too. Yikes for them. Hollywood or Royalty. Both so superficial in so many ways.

Jean Jacoby's avatar

I got a breaking news bulletin from the NYT about Harry and Meghan moving back to the UK. So maybe they thought this was more interesting than more Donnie stuff--which, frankly it is. If the Donnie stuff had anything to do with actually governing this country I would say no, but there you are.

Lady Emsworth's avatar

I'll be interested to see if she actually comes with him - or does a Melania.

serenity's avatar

I read a blurb on my news feed from the Independent that said maga are losing their minds over Prince Harry moving back to the UK. Is there anything of no consequence that happens that they don't lose their minds over?

rlritt's avatar

How can you lose what you never had?

Linda Weide's avatar

The only part of that story that interested me, is that Harry has moved his family back sans police protection being provided by the palace, even though he said he could not bring them back sans that protection. So, he must have been really sick of living in Trump's America to have moved back. I am assuming it is more like, who do I want my children in school with? Hollywood's children who do not aspire to do anything other than be influencers, movie stars and models, or British upper crust, who do not aspire to be anything other than lords and ladies of leisure?

rlritt's avatar

He could have gone to Canada or Bermuda (I think its still British)

Robert Eckert's avatar

Bermuda remains a colony.

Linda Weide's avatar

All of those places he still needs security. I guess he wants to be where he feels his children will be best off. I would have chosen Canada, but he is less a royal there than in England. Even if stripped of their titles, they still are going to be seen in that way.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Prince Harry is going back for the fish and chips and the curry and the lack of snake oil but still jolly old England has big problems too. It's a worldwide pandemic of stupidity.

rlritt's avatar

He'll fit right in.

Vee Cross's avatar

What??? I do care in that it takes guts to tell a centuries old monarchy to stick up their tiara. I'll take role models where I can get them. Beyond that, I have no clue what's happening in the world of kings beyond the dementia-ridden pretender who can't even get the basics of authoritarianism right.

Tess's avatar

Well…as I said before…same shit, different day! Your paragraph “we the people want….” is exactly what we want…a president who cares about the people, the country and the world..not just himself and binky girl! Claudia looks very beautiful!

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I'll bet I left a bunch of stuff off that list. it was the very last part of the post I wrote, and I had one eye on the clock the whole time. so everyone feel free to add to it

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I'm tired today. I can barely hold myself together, and I still had to watch a man type MOST CRUSHING ECONOMIC OPERATION EVER into his own website like a toddler with a caps-lock key.

Hormuz has been shut since March. Borrowing costs just hit a twenty-year high. The Fed is muttering about a hike.

He posted "You know who you are."

And fuck but, the bond market knows exactly who you are. It priced you accordingly. Markets don't give a shit about capital letters.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/new-letterhead-same-fuckin-leash-a-rebranded-cure-an-all-caps-siege-with-a-limp-dick-and-water-gives

Miselle's avatar

I am so (bad, bad words!) tired of it all. I can barely function and it feels like they won.

I hate this.

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Well, they didn't.

And they won't.

Fuck THEM!

(I don't know if it'll help you, but I'm trying OMAD at the moment (One Meal A Day). I've been doing it for a couple of weeks now, and my mind is awake and my energy levels sky high. Just large low carb lunch, rest of the day black coffee/herbal tea/lemon and water) Saves money too!

RZolu's avatar

Worst timeline ever and I grew up in the 60’s & 70’s…

rlritt's avatar

I remember reading that Nixon was bad. He looks like a brilliant statesman incomparison. And they impeached him and he had the decency to resign, didnt he?

Tess's avatar

Love the new flag posted in Catholic church you write about!!

Mlp's avatar

You mean the part where it’s imploding?

Linda Weide's avatar

I am someone who sold her house and moved into an apartment to afford life in the new Trump economy.

skangirl's avatar

August in DC is the dead zone. Imagine, if you will, walking outside and being smothered by a hot, wet sponge. At least they got a handle on the malaria thing...for now.

Tristan's avatar

Ossof struck a chord. A Harpsichord.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Dumb DonOld has never been sharp

This leads him to whine and carp

While he's always been abuse-ical

Is he suddenly musical

Now that he has his own Harp

RZolu's avatar

A great answer to a great answer!!

Eileen's avatar

😆😆😆

Cyndi's avatar

I am SO stealing this! But I promise to credit you. :-)

rlritt's avatar

Ha ha. That's cute.

Maria 🇮🇪's avatar

Ha! Very good Tristan.

Sooz Hall's avatar

Brilliant!! ‼️❣️‼️❣️‼️❣️

Mark Slattery's avatar

The maga outrage against Ossoff is as phony as their patriotism and their "christian-values".

Lisa Bieber's avatar

I think you misspelled KKKristian.

BigDaddy52's avatar

Oh, it's real outrage. Just proving again how batshit crazy cults act....

rlritt's avatar

The funny thing is that he didnt say or even imply anything bad. Just that they travel around together, which is true. But all the Republicans went to the bad place.

lauren's avatar

Claudia is beautiful and you were so lucky to have had each other as long as you did. Jon Ossoff needs to be the presidential candidate and we don’t need any damn primaries.

Paula Amen Judah's avatar

Good one, Lauren!!! Ossoff all the way. Not Newsom! Permit me a digression: I wish the media (including dear Nicole Wallace) would stop using the word "sycophant(s)" which a huge chunk of Americans don't know. Why not say what they mean: "ass kissers" Everyone understands that. Politicians and pundits need to use everyday words if they truly want to reach ALL the people.

Bob's avatar

“Suck-ups,” “brown-nosers” “bollocks-jugglers”

Paula Amen Judah's avatar

LOL. Nice list, Bob.

Robert Eckert's avatar

We're going to need Ossoff in the Senate. I'm still a Petenik.

Paula Amen Judah's avatar

I agree that we need Ossoff in the Senate, but THE COUNTRY is at risk if we don't put forth a candidate that can win the presidency. I love Pete, but I'm sad to say, he can't win; negative attitudes about gay men still prevail in this country, same negativity exists about women candidates. Maybe in another decade, that will change. s i g h

skangirl's avatar

NO! NO!! NO!!! No Ossoff, no Shapiro, no Sanders. (There's a pattern there.)

The American people will never elect a Jewish president. (If it was ever possible before--which it wasn't--the situation in Gaza, Netanyahu's grasp on trump's tiny orange balls, and the over-representation of Jews in trump's inner circle (including daughter/wife Ivanka) would ensure an electoral loss.

Paula Amen Judah's avatar

Excellent points. I know gays and women haven't a chance to become president (yet), but I hold more hope for a Jewish candidate. And Ossoff has more going for him appeal-wise than Shapiro or Sanders. Enjoyed your Netanyahu comment.

Marilyn's avatar

Jon Ossoff is amazing, but he belongs in the senate for now. We need to flip the senate. First things first.

rlritt's avatar

Except he's running for reelection. I prefer Andy Beshear or Pritzker. They both stood up to Trump. So did Newsome but he is my state's governor and would be a harder sell coming from CA.

gene weingarten's avatar

Jeff, congratulations on the correct spelling and usage of "farkakte." For the uninitiated, it is derived from the impolite Yiddish verb farkakn, which means "to shit on".

rlritt's avatar

I appreciated the Yiddish. Sometimes it has exactly the right word.

Robin D's avatar

"Farkakte is a Yiddish word that means lousy, messed up, or contemptible, and it literally translates to "covered in excrement."

Sorry, just giving the full definition. I am always surprised at the spelling compared to my NY upbringing and how it was pronounced. "fuh-cock-tah" and looked it up. (4 yiddish speaking grandparents and two first generation American parents who spoke (and wrote) it as their first language fluently at home when they were growing up). I know words. Can't speak a sentence, read or write it, but my parents used to talk to each other in Yiddish in front of us when they didn't want us to understand, which just made my yenta ears perk up because they had to throw in names or some English words that didn't translate. I just knew it was something dishy LOL!

Jeff is Jewish. He knows when to throw in a.great word of Yiddish. I'm waiting for my personal fave to show up. "Bubbameiser" Literally.."a grandmother's tale" ...for those in the know " a bullshit story" 😂 Useful for every single one of Donnie's "daily dose of delusions" fed to him by the "human printer" that he spews. I love that line from Jon Ossoff. We need this man desperately 🙏

Orangeshitstain's avatar

Now that Lindsey has gone to the men’s steam in the sky, brain dead glitch has one foot in the urine soaked grave and these things usually come in threes…

Would emperor Von Shitzinpants do the world a solid and complete the trifecta?

rlritt's avatar

Where's Mitch? Im surprised no one's done a Where's Mitch game yet.

Babe Paley's avatar

He also mentioned that he installed those two flag poles and that he's "good at flag poles".

My god, people! PLEASE tell and show your children that you love them when they're growing up!

Also, if the world is SO dangerous that you need a drone-roofed bunker for events*, why are you going to be just loitering outside of it for cocktails?

*and BTW, when was the last ball held at the WH? He acts like every other evening he's having some fancy-ass dinner and dancing affair or something. Maybe I missed it, but all I see are things where people ooh and ahh over him signing stupid stuff in the Oval Office. Believe me, I would enjoy seeing him attempt to waltz with Melania so I feel like I'd know.

Nancie's avatar

"Believe me, I would enjoy seeing him attempt to waltz with Melania so I feel like I'd know."

And when that happens, I'm looking forward to someone writing a biting song parody about the event using the tune "Waltzing Matilda."

Miselle's avatar

⬆️👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Robert Eckert's avatar

Waltzing Melania, waltzing Melania, you'll go a-waltzing Melania with me...

Joyce's avatar

Tapered flag poles, he said. They have to be tapered. He knows flag poles.

Jesus Christ Almighty. On a cracker or not.

Mike Hammer's avatar

His favorite anal plug.

HI2thDoc's avatar
1hEdited

"I'm good at flag poles!

And digging big holes

Where the East Wing once stood

I can do nothing good

I also give criminals paroles!"

Marlee Ostrow's avatar

furthermore, if he doesn't want to be a target, why is he building a target ( a "fortified defense drone proof bunker") right next to and above and below where he plans to hold big gala events? Is it so they can all be taken out in one swoop?

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Perfect comment is perfect, Babe!

What a different world we would live in had Fred Sr. not been such a miserable SOB.

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Hey helidump! Bite on my scrote!

And on that you can quote my damn quote

The country is broken

It ain't worth a token

While Drumpf masturbates with his 'mote.

We're going to hell in a bag

And his frozen-faced "wife" is a hag

His sons are just dopes

And their daddy just mopes

"I'm a victim here! Wah wah wah NAG!"

HI2thDoc's avatar
1hEdited

That crime family will always be stealing

Like he won't stop his "I'm persecuted" squealing

Yet the dumbfuck MAGA stooges

Cannot see the endless deluges

Of blatantly corrupt self-dealing

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

I love how you rhyme words that you wouldn't normally think of....

Stooges and deluges is really good!

SethTriggs's avatar

Destroy first, get sued later and figure the deference in the legal system for the champions of the unreconstructed works out!

He's taken advantage of every system requiring good faith in America, knowing he's protected. And millions of Americans support him because he hates the same minorities they do.

Dave Drell's avatar

He’s a at 33% approval rate.

How could someone so far gone

mentally not be 10% ?

HI2thDoc's avatar

His supporters' brains (this first and foremost includes all the rethuglicans who support him and his idiotic ideas) are not functioning at even 10% capacity

Eileen's avatar

Exactly. Trump’s response to everything: “Make me.” No one stops him.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Jeff, speaking of Natalie I believe she and Donald deserve the same treatment and attention that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky suffered through. I believe we should have a question and answer session in Congress and have Donald testify, just like Clinton.. This story should be front page every day and ask yourself why Natalie could refuse a security check …. For around a year. …WTF? A very unserious crew destroying our country one day at a time…

HI2thDoc's avatar

Mizz Natalie's devoted smirks

Aren't her only perks

I'm sure she so badly

Wants to please him gladly

But I doubt that his mushroom works

Fastball Fredo's avatar

She reminds me of Glen Close in Fatal Attraction… she is that nutso.

HI2thDoc's avatar

In FA Michael Douglas's character spurned the stalker, which led to the boiled bunny. Fat Bastard will never spurn Nat. They feed off each other in every way. A strange, creepy, screwed up co-dependency for the ages. And Melania probably likes it-it keeps his gross gaze and short-fingered mitts off of her.

Dave Drell's avatar

Can we fit this into the Doors

“Love Him Madly” song?

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

It doesn't matter if she can pass a security check or not, Trump can just give her one like he did with Jared in his first term.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

I’ve been saying that too! How come it was ok to trash Monica & President Clinton for 20+ years & have a trillion “hearings” on it, then impeachment? I swear I f’cking hate Republicans!

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

You nailed it, Fastball. Does Kushner have a security. clearance. yet? Also Hegseth's wife who is as Velcroed to Pete as tightly as Natalie is to Shitler. The unemployed Hegseth bitch sits in on military intelligence meetings and trails her Hamhock Hubby to make sure his makeup and hair are shellacked in place and he's not sneaking tequila shots in a WH closet.

GW B's avatar
14mEdited

There’s no there there. Reporting is all about MAGA overreaction to Ossoff’s comments. Why? Pure MAGA rage bait trolling to suck the oxygen out of the media for a few days. This is a shiny blonde object while the stealing continues.

US Blues's avatar

Any word on McConnell?!

Major Kong's avatar

As is Francisco Franco.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Righteous John Thune

Wanna change your tune?

Did you really speak with Mitch

Or was it another bullshit pitch

'Cuz you're a lying MAGA buffoon

Lisa Bieber's avatar

I guess it's time to stop calling it the White House and admit that what we have is the Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Complex. Drone proof drones, designer stones and nothing green in sight. Even an 8 year old can walk in her high heels without sinking.

RELEASE THE FILES

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

That photo of Mrs. Spouse is absolutely adorable!

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

He’s so fucking stupid that for a time it was hard to gauge the pace of his descent into gibbering madness, but… yeah, it’s time. And whoever let him outside? Seriously. How do they figure all of this is gonna play out?

Dave Drell's avatar

I take it for “granite” you know about Nero …Rome is burning and he’s fiddling around. This putz is doing the same.

Flora's avatar

It hurts to see Danger Yam lighting money on fire with his hideous projects, but I’d almost rather he stay busy with dumb stuff than do more damage to our government institutions and foreign relations.

Joyce's avatar

Can you imagine the gales of laughter in the Iranian war room?

Cyndi's avatar

Somebody else is doing the damage on his behalf ... Or at least in his name.

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Maybe we should send checkers game to Natalie. I think that is about his mentality.

Robert Eckert's avatar

He's playing Uno still, and proud that he has all the cards.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

He’s doing both at the same time

Natasha's avatar

Remember when they set up a fake office for Trump’s father to keep him busy during the Alzheimer years? Maybe that’s why we have a ballroom project.

On second thought, I’m probably giving everyone too much credit.