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User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—

I don't have one. after I finished writing, I cleared the notifications on my phone without remembering to look.

so tell me, everyone, what did I miss?

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Nothing.

You already know jeff.

He's failing in health.

He's dying.

I wish he would just hurry up.

LORI  D's avatar

I wonder who will go to the funeral.

Linda Weide's avatar

I wonder who will throw the biggest party.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I think youll feel the entire country breathe a sigh of relief all at once.

Noel's avatar

The entire world!

arne link's avatar

Oh, Boy! The parties will go on for days.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Michelle O might actually go. Not to pay respects, mind you, because he isn’t worthy of that. But she might want to confirm that he is truly dead.

Jane S.'s avatar

I would need that confirmation -- how about a stake to the heart, too, just to be on the safe side?

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Wooden stake, silver bullet, wreath of garlic, holy water - all of it.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I mean that would surely do the job.

Adamantium bullet maybe?

kdsherpa's avatar

Is holy water part of that ritual?

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

They'll stuff him and gold plate his fat ass.

Robert Eckert's avatar

In Serbia somebody did dig up Slobodan Milosevic to pound a stake through his heart-- just making sure!

BigDaddy52's avatar

Remove that pumpkin head....

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

The Smithsonian could use it to draw crowds. Sort of a geek exhibit like they do in cheap carnivals. Bearded ladies,lobster boy etc.

LORI  D's avatar

Takes giant foot long hat pin and stabs him with it 5 times. Leaves it in his groin. I would go to see that.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Hell, Melania would probably loan her the hat pin.

arne link's avatar

It would be truly epic if the Obama's showed up to show their "respects". They are such a class act that they might actually do it. Also, it would be the best troll ever.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I wouldnt go, but I would pay money to watch someone pee on his casket (because you know someone wants to).

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

How much? Asking for a friend.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I'd do it for free.

Betsy L's avatar

I would wear a pretty dress without underwear, and then quickly squat and pee on his grave. Or not so quickly.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I could do it at night because I have to get up to pee three or four times anyway..

Betsy L's avatar

But wouldn't mean sleeping near his grave for the night? I mean, I don't want you getting lost on your way there. (You have my sympathies; even we women get up more often than we used to.)

patti sepich's avatar

I will be dancing in the street.

Lynell(VA by way of MD&DC)'s avatar

I wonder if he'll get to lie in state...ugh.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Remember even dead he'll be leaking...

arne link's avatar

Undoubtedly, unless he goes to prison or flees to Russia.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

He lies every time he opens his mouth. Just lay him out with his anus mouth open and have lots of Glade air freshener in the rotunda for that rotund fuck.

Diana's avatar

Not I said the mouse‼️

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

He already looks like Henry VIII right before he exploded in his coffin. But just because the country is severely cursed, he'll carry on another 2.5 years.

Betsy L's avatar

That was William the Bastard, or William the Conqueror, whichever. People all left his body where it was when he died, so it lay there and swelled, and finally a few days later some monks had to stuff him into his coffin. Parts of him exploded.

Betsy L's avatar

I was wrong. I know that happened with the Bastard, but I hadn't heard that about Henry VIII. He did explode, or at least release built up gasses very loudly. Actually, it probably happened a lot back then, given the need for observing so many post-mortem rituals and the lack of any knowledge of embalming.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

I had to Google AI about that story too -- "King Henry VIII’s corpse allegedly exploded in its coffin in 1547 due to a gruesome buildup of putrefaction gasses, though many modern historians consider the story a mix of fact and exaggerated Tudor-era propaganda."

Trump is greater than HVIII because he's leaking putrefaction pre-death.

Linda A's avatar

The only way we can salvage this 250th BD is if he dies at 12:01 am on July 4.

arne link's avatar

What a party that would be. A true celebration of the birth our country.

Tess's avatar

Mormans got back on the religious list….

HI2thDoc's avatar

It's always amusing when bigots get bigoted themselves

Major Kong's avatar

64% of Mormons voted for Trump. Utah's Mormon Senators voted to confirm Kegsbreath. Another episode in the never-ending series -"I didn't think that the leopards would eat MY face!"

HI2thDoc's avatar

Utah Senator Mike Lee is as big a racist piece of shit as the evangelicals, so there's an equivalence on that front

Linda Weide's avatar

I agree on Mike Lee. I happen to live in the same neighborhood that Barack Obama does when he is in Chicago. My Mormon neighbors are not Trump supporters. In fact, where we just sold our house, we lived in a Mormon enclave of "progressive" Mormons. That is couples who married across color. Families with gay children who did not do missions. In fact, one family became atheist, and the family they sold their house has the children drawing on the sidewalk in chalk against Trump. Our local Mormon church has been very involved in the Interfaith support of our local refugee project, Hyde Park Refugee Project.

https://hprpchicago.org/

So all Mormons are not cut from the same cloth. I wonder how many of their children will leave the church. Given the cost of University in the US, and the fact that they only pay 7% of the tuition at BYU, I think they will keep going.

Look at the list of Partners and Friends. You will see The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Hyde Park.

https://hprpchicago.org/partners/

Bob's avatar

What used to be called Jack Mormons, although they also drank alcohol.

Linda Weide's avatar

Why were they called that? By the way, my community also houses the Catholic Church and Catholic Theological Seminary that the current Pope was a part of. There is a strong interfaith gathering culture and community. The neighborhood also has a few seminaries such as U of Chicago, Catholic, Lutheran and there might be others.

Runfastandwin's avatar

I am reminded of the aphorism in for a penny, in for a pound.

LORI  D's avatar

Go figure the Mormon church would be wrong. Seems to be a pattern

Mike Hammer's avatar

But if they are malignant narcissists they enjoy it before they inflict pain.

LORI  D's avatar
2hEdited

There should not be a list at all. If churches are going to get all political, and some are making zillions of grifter dollars, why are they still getting a tax break/exemption? They should get some tax breaks for charitable donations that benefit their communities and so forth but not a free ride. Joel Osteen comes to mind.

Susan Kemp's avatar

I think the purpose of the religions list was for assigning military chaplains, for example, a Presbyterian minister could be ok for other Protestant denominations, however, since this administration, and Pete Kegstand in particular, could fuck up a one-car funeral, it was handled in the most ham-fisted, tone-deaf way possible.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

I don't think that was it. All chaplains are supposed to counsel all troops which is why Hegseth also ordered chaplains to stop using psychology and start spouting bible verses.

arne link's avatar

1,000,000%. Churches are big business. Tax any that draw in more than a million per collection plate. People paying not to go to Hell. Really? Thinks that's going to work? Pshaw!

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

What about the Unitarian Unversalists? Last I saw they on the same shitlist as the Wiccans.

George in Atlanta's avatar

Yeah, that's a thing. Know a Vietnam-era SEAL who was born Unitarian (pre-unification) in California (think squared-away hippie, man). He had Unitarian on his tags and got to meet with a dedicated Unitarian minister on an aircraft carrier.

Can't be having that kind of America-hating Satanist Antifa subversion in Pete's military. Nossir.

arne link's avatar

I think the Wiccan religion is something I could support, or Druids. The rest can go pound sand.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

And how about the Druids?

HI2thDoc's avatar

Merlin rocks!

Kay-El's avatar

And the Atheists, Pagans and Heathens and……

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Guess my 20 year old universal life church Dr of divinity is shitcanned ☮️

Kay-El's avatar

I wonder if you can still perform weddings? 🤔

AuntTeeFa's avatar

As long as it’s not an obese transsexual Black Muslim Female colonel guess I’m good. Not that there are any of those left in the WAR dept

Nancy's avatar

Yes, Mr Mild! What about the UUs! Unitarianism was good enough for John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Paul Revere, but apparently not for Kegsbreath’s Dept of Warmongering.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Well they were never off. What Secretary of War Crimes Hegseth did was declare other denominations as "Christian" but NOT the Mormons (who very much consider themselves to be Christian). They've now removed that marker.

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

That must really pi** off the Evangelicals who kinda hate Mormons.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Here’s hoping

arne link's avatar

They do? I didn't know that. I love the things that I learn in this unholy community.

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

Only after Mike Lee cried and whined to trump. It sure does suck when the exclusion applies to YOUR religion, Mike. Could that maybe help you empathize a bit for the others who were taken off the list? Nah…me, me, me.

Linda Weide's avatar

of Pete Hegseth as Christians allowed to worship in the US military.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

All it took was Mike Lee running to Trump. Way to stand up for religious freedom for just one group Mike.

Matthew Tarpy's avatar

Couchfucker sent over a criminal referral to DOJ accusing Tim Waltz and the MN AG of orchestrating fraud.

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

Deep, deep eye roll. JD just wants daddy to LIKE him...

Harald Hurlen's avatar

Preznit announces an agreement with Iran is 2 or 3 days away

SethTriggs's avatar

The Straits of Schrödinger are a dimension of sight and sound from which there is no escape!

HI2thDoc's avatar

From April and then again in May, because things have not changed:

The Strait I'll open!

The Strait I'll close!

Which is it now?

Who even knows

The ceasefire is on!

The ceasefire is off!

Can't make up his mind

The Iranians scoff

Such unstable bullshit

Each time he speaks

Perpetual chaos

Another two weeks

Cathy Wray's avatar

Wow! That poem is wonderful!!!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Watch me post it again in July because

AuntTeeFa's avatar

🏆 Pulitzer nomination

arne link's avatar

Ok, that is your absolute best ever. Thank you.

Robert Eckert's avatar

voice of Torgo: There is no way out of here. It will be dark soon.

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

We are living in Groundhog Day.

Kay-El's avatar

Are you sure it wasn’t 2 weeks? Is he lowering his game?

Deb's avatar

Let’s all have a good belly laugh !

arne link's avatar

Yeah, there go the markets again.

Jean Jacoby's avatar

Nothing, other than Donnie has started to drag around his 18-year-old granddaughter, because apparently Ivanka is getting too old. Other than being so very creepy, it's par for Donnie's course.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

She’s just as big a turd as he is. Smirky little bitch.

Jean Jacoby's avatar

Actually, many feminists stopped picking on Ivanka when they saw a documentary with Ivanka, where she showed them around her home, and then became weird when she walked into her own childhood bedroom.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Donald posed provocatively in a bathrobe on her bed with its Strawberry Shortcake sheets when she was still a kid.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Hope they’ll reconsider and open the floodgates

Bob's avatar

Isn’t she Junior’s daughter?

AuntTeeFa's avatar

You’re right about that. But her demeanor is definitely Javanka

Bob's avatar

Yeah, she has the family snobbery down. Maybe she’ll rebel and join an anarchist group in Europe. At least that would be interesting.

kdsherpa's avatar

(Maybe Ivanka is saying she's too busy with that Albanian island?)

Jean Jacoby's avatar

Let's go with that.

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

If she wasn’t his granddaughter would he be dating her???EWWWW

AuntTeeFa's avatar

his “type” now seems to be big strong men with thick thighs

arne link's avatar

How long has he been abusing her?

Bob's avatar

Mamdani was at the game. He bought a $1,000 blue seat ticket at the box office and sat with the fans. Not court side, not in a luxury box.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Ukraine is taking the fight to Russia. Soon Zelensky will be standing over Trumps grave and giving condolences.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Not until he's standing over Putin's. Inshahallah.

Linda Weide's avatar

Go Knicks! Go away Trump!

Lisa Bieber's avatar

Maybe the Church of Satan will sue Greasy Pete

Lucius's avatar

On the DoD's new religion list Orthodox and Reformed Judaism are listed as Christian denominations and Messianic Judaism is listed under Judaism.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Why does the DOD even have a religion list? Anyone?

Karla K's avatar

It's for the indicator on headstones in Arlington National Cemetery

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Good to know! Thank you

Joyce's avatar

Did the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster make the cut?

Lucius's avatar

IIRC no religion and agnostic are on there.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Mormons need not apply.

Michelle Kenoyer's avatar

In brighter news, Mayor Mamdani opened up Bryant Park for a watch party for the people, so he was Hero of the Day yesterday. (He's *always* a hero imo!) :)

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Tree hugger here...

Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Was Ms Spouse a Knicks fan?

Doug Wright's avatar

"...because deep down inside, Dear Leader knows that he’ll never be as admired as the black man whose accomplishments he’s trying to hard to destroy." Bingo👍🏼👌🏼🍸

SeekingReason's avatar

And he’s arriving at Mamdani territory. Trump may not ever soak in how much he’s hated, but every supporter knows their demise is closing in. That’s why ivanka is trying to but the new family hide out in Albania.

Melinda Morrell's avatar

Let's hope the Albanians give that a no-go. Flippin' rich assholes.

kdsherpa's avatar

The island is lovely! The model for what they want to do with it is, truly, grotesque. Complete destruction. Apparently the current president, who was once a liberal democrat, is siding with the kushies -- against the fury of the majority of the Alof Albanian citizens.

Kim Steeves's avatar

Too late, looks like the heavy equipment has already started it's stripping of the flora and fauna!

US Blues's avatar

Called it! I knew the narcoleptic fart factory would fall asleep. All of that completely unnecessary chaos and money for absolutely nothing.

Fuck trump!

May Kergen's avatar

Knicks owner James Dolan invited him. Screwed over his own team and fans for Donny. Any idiot could have predicted what would happen and the chaos he'd create but Dolan didn't care. Not enough people are blaming him for this atrocity.

Rick's avatar

Dolan has always been a nepobaby POS and has been a maggot from the getgo. No revelation last night for NYCers. Weve know of him for a long time.

Joyce's avatar

Whoever the NBA commissioner is--I accidentally tuned in to some pre-game show last night (not a basketball fan, although I am now a fan of NY basketball fans) and caught him fawning over Donnie Demento's upcoming attendance. I do know of Charles Barkley, who was sitting at the end of the lineup of talking heads, and I hereby give Sir Charles the coveted I Will Kill You With My Laser Eyes Award. I'm pretty sure I heard some popping and sizzling noises and saw some smoke tendrils curling up from the commish's chair.

Deb's avatar

I hope they have to fumigate the box, following a blockbuster appearance of the king of shitting

Matthew Tarpy's avatar

Jeff, don't let the naysayers keep you down. I love the Daily Claudia. It's proof of a life well lived and a love that spanned decades. And in these shitty days, it's good to see that still exists.

Marian Vitale's avatar

I have never been more proud to be a native New Yorker. We have hated that fucker for 50 years.

Susie's avatar

Well said. My husband shares your righteous hatred. So I have claimed it as my own, as well. 😡🤬

Mike Hammer's avatar

Is there a possibility that he actually enjoys this, getting booed while causing chaos in the city. We know he comes out net positive for psychotic malignant narcissism so think of the supervillain seething inside while planning destruction.

SethTriggs's avatar

Narcissists NEED attention.

Victoria Wilson's avatar

Yes, I agree.ANY attention , be it positive or negative, it doesn’t matter.It is attention.That’s all that a malignant narcissist pig like Donnie FF requires.

Mike Hammer's avatar

And negative attention I guess.

Deb's avatar

I don’t believe narcissism absorbs negative thoughts They flourish when given any attention. Until the mics go dead and the cameras disappear we will suffer the slings of Sir Crap

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

As Mrs Mild and I learned from raising 2 kids, any attention (even negative attention) is good attention.

Joyce's avatar

I think it is so: he's also a sadist, and I think he truly enjoys inflicting misery on the American people; last night was yet another of his moments when he got to flaunt his untouchable power and superiority. He demonstrated this when he sneered at the question addressed to him regarding the obscenely overpriced tickets to the game--Marie Antoinette must've been giving him props from beyond the grave.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Agree. Sadism is only one if the characteristics of malignant narcissism which also includes antisocial behavior, sadism and lack of empathy.m

Kay-El's avatar

I think it’s just brain rot turning boos into cheers.

Robert Eckert's avatar

It's more that he does not believe or disbelieve things like other people, because he has no sense of truth or falsity, only of what is convenient to say for the sake of his self-image, with no concern about whether that is even consistent with what was convenient for him to say a few minutes ago.

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Anyone who supports rump is as sick as rump

Amy Reynaldo's avatar

Wow, that look at the Vegas lights happening on the Thunderdome? Now I want to see a carnival on the White House lawn. Big Ferris wheel visible from the other side of the White House. Tilt-a-Whirl. Funhouse mirrors where everyone can see what they'd look like in too-big Florsheims.

Dave Drell's avatar

Hire a clown -you get a circus

kdsherpa's avatar

I thought they were already there, in force.

Joyce's avatar

"But where are the clowns?

Quick, send in the clowns

Don't bothеr, they're herе"

kdsherpa's avatar

Perfection. "A Little Night Music" is the best!

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The UFC just signed an agreement with the State Department, backed by taxpayers' funding, to take this stupid show global. To share fine American "culture" abroad. The nightmare is becoming non-ephemeral.

Deb's avatar

And award winning hogs,!including their mud spa

Brad Yazell's avatar

All the White House lawn needs now are a couple of rusted out cars sitting up on blocks and a washing machine without a lid. Whitetrash House.

Dave Drell's avatar

With a Confederate flag

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Don't give Trump any ideas.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

How about a couple of Teslers?

Alexander CS's avatar

You mean them lectrics that he hawked on the White House lawn with Melon Musk?

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Yes the DOGE Auto and Data Theft dealership

Cathy 98280's avatar

Preferably rusty Tesla trucks.

Ann Anderson's avatar

Crowd outside Trump Tower chanting "New York hates you!" Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/6Gfeymezh7M

HI2thDoc's avatar

How pathetic and broken

When you crave every token

Applause and cheers

When you instead inspire jeers

'Cuz in your head dementia has spoken

Jane in NC's avatar

The online MAGA copium this morning over seeing the Orange AssWipe get booed to the moon and back is something to behold. The Knicks loss last night will go down as another example of the First Law of Political Dynamics: ETTD.

SeekingReason's avatar

Trump & his enablers will say he had the biggest crowds ever cheering his arrival. I’m so glad we are witnessing mass rejection & revulsion of the criminal cabal occupying our White House and desecrating it daily!

But anyway! Love the knicks fans and every booing individual out there!! ♥️

Susan K.'s avatar

I loved that glimpse of Obama - what a smile!

Richard's avatar

I agree with you 100%!

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Well Damn Jeff.

I mean, Im not much a sports ball person, but fuck it, Go Knicks. Trump can kiss an ass, Jeff.

Not that I want that pleasure.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/what-survives-the-morning-the-count-they-can-t-burn-away

Tess's avatar

Nice job Athens Pride Fest! Kushner needs to get the hell out of Albania and leave nature the fuck alone!

kdsherpa's avatar
2hEdited

(Tirana?)

George in Atlanta's avatar

I actually hate spectator sports. I think my mother wandered too close to an xray machine and my natural Male Sporty Gene(c) got scrambled. But I was a Knicks fan for 24 hours. New Yorkers must really loathe their owner, who promoted this clown-fuck parade.

Trump has truly unified America.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Orange Jabba is the living (sort of) embodiment of where Fun goes to die. Although I must admit to a vicarious thrill watching James Dolan crop-dusted and serenaded with the dulcet tunes and noxious fumes of Diet Coke-inflected fecal aerosols. Talk about your FRAGRANT foul. Has there even been a more apt metaphor of Baron Buzzkill ruining things for tens of thousands of Knick fans? Unable to post here but I urge everyone to check-out the upcoming cover of The New Yorker. I may actually frame my copy.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Where is Barron?

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Great photos. Hey, and fatfuck called Stephen A. Smith “low-IQ”, so the racism never stops never stopping.

I’m about to start saving my urine in Jerry cans so I can send a task rabbit to visit his grave.

Dave Drell's avatar

Toss them at the nearest Trump Tower