and to repeat my comment from last week's day off, "by the way, I am very aware of how lucky and privileged I am. most people do not have a hundred thousand or more people who care about them. that has to make a difference in the grieving process. so, once again, thank you. I love you all"
The US men’s hockey team should be fucking ashamed of themselves. They’re all actually professional millionaires that probably love the shit out of Trump’s tax cuts and loopholes for people like them. My respect for them took a big big hit. Not that they give a single shit about getting any respect from me, obviously.
Grief has no expiration date. It comes in waves. Just when you think you’re doing okay, you may hit a wall. And this wasn’t just any loss. Mrs. Spouse was the love of your life. So be patient and kind to yourself. Write when you feel like writing, and take a break when you need to. We’re not going anywhere! I promise! ❤️
So well said, Stephanie. You have to allow the grief to ride those waves. Take good care of yourself, Jeff! Like it or not, you have become one of our much needed spokespeople and we all care for your well being.
Honestly, you're reaping what you've sown. Your hilarious, snarky, and lusciously profane daily takes have kept us all SANE through the shittiest of timelines. The least we can do is offer our support during this really difficult time.
I'm taking two mental health days this week. Even without such a profound loss like yours, day to day life right now is so heavy, sometimes you just have to set it down, read a book, go for a walk, do whatever allows you to feel peaceful, even if it's just for a few minutes. And breathe. ❤️
I just randomly took a mental health day today myself. Are emails still showing up on my phone? Yes, indeed. Tons of them. I’ve refrained and only responded to one… not because it was urgent but because I was irritated that I sent an email to all about something yesterday and one of them reworded it and sent it back out. Don’t do that!
So glad you self care, Jeff. I am glad you recognize that grief is a long process. Sending you healing energy and love. You keep us laughing and sane❤️
And you don’t know how much you’re helping others. Because of you I know I am trying to show others more Grace, and I’m sure a lot of people here who mourn with you are doing the same.
We love you, too. I wish there was a good way to let you know just how much. In the meantime, we’ll just keep loving your awesome posts that keep us sane. Your service is much appreciated; know that our hearts are with you as you grieve the loss of Ms. Spouse.
Hey you, go to the bottom of your post and reread the part about self care, and listen to Past You, for the sake of Future You. Sure, the news is maddening and rant-worthy every day, but give your overloaded emotions a full day to rest. We'll still be here tomorrow.
My thoughts exactly about the hockey teams. Shame on the men’s team for allowing themselves to be paraded like a bunch of trained monkeys at the SOTU and the White House. The women have much more integrity (and probably had a way better time)! My thoughts are with you, Jeff.
You definitely deserve a break Jeff….we all understand and love you to pieces! And yes, our prez is a cheap, slimy attention seeker who hates women! Thanks Tucci…the women’s team got the better end of that!!! lol Take care…JD is coming near our city today so I will be lifting my middle finger in the air frequently….
Good luck to you, Jeff. This has been one bastard of a winter even in the warm climates. That story of the supercool Tucci made me happy. Von Schitzenpants will fail! Remember—every day we’re one day closer to the one of the happiest days of our lives
Jeff, you are awesome! Even in your grief, you give back. Thank you for that. We all love you, you know. I think you are wonderful and take time any time.
He dozes during the day because he’s obsessed with the late night hosts taking the p out of him and what others are saying, I hope Jimmy, John, Stephen are the death of him
A remark overheard at a dinner party, a remarried widow: “The bad ones don’t die. You can twist their necks like a chicken’s and they won’t die!”
Her soused spouse sat nearly unconscious drink in hand unfazed by her speech. I was very young. Somehow I knew she missed her true love more than she hated her second husband.
Jeff, you have used your scalding pen in the service of democracy for many years. Grieving takes time, and we will be here when you publish again. Take care friend.
Here is what an expert , life long womens hockey coach said about the mess that Trump and his minions plotted . :
Digit Murphy , Brown Univ . Womens Coach
I want to talk about this moment not as politics, but as a coach, a parent, and someone who has lived inside locker rooms for decades.
Because what bothered me most wasn’t controversy.
It was the loss of basic leadership and common decency.
These are lessons we teach children:
Don’t laugh along when something feels wrong.
Stand up.
Protect the people around you.
Own mistakes quickly.
Apologize when necessary.
Leadership doesn’t change those rules. It raises the standard.
First, I feel for the men’s team. They were celebrating a significant moment and were clearly caught off guard. That moment should have belonged to the athletes. Locker rooms are sacred spaces where teams celebrate together, and allowing outside distractions into that environment changes the dynamic immediately.
As a parent, I also want to speak about Ellen Hughes. I understand the instinct to protect your children—I would defend my own sons too. But we need to be careful not to turn this into another situation where a woman becomes the focus of criticism or blame for something larger.
At the same time, her leadership requires preparation and awareness. When you hold a role within USA Hockey, difficult or uncomfortable questions should be anticipated. Moments like this require both protection and accountability—standing by your athletes while also reinforcing standards of respect and signaling clearly when an apology is needed.
If I were breaking down the tape as a coach:
1. Protect the room. Not every outside presence belongs in a team’s celebration space.
2. When faced with an uncomfortable moment, choose respect, not dismissal.
3. Own the behavior quickly. “Boys will be boys” is not leadership. Accountability is.
This isn’t about politics.
It’s about culture, standards, and how we model leadership for the next generation watching us.
Respect isn’t complicated. But it does require courage.
Not so fast…..every one of the 5 said they would have gone to the WH but had prior commitments. Some were even sad about missing the WH invitation. Do your own research about this
There can be nothing as painful as losing a child 💔. I have a son who cut me out of his life 7 years ago. I know he is fine because he's still in touch with my daughter, but the pain in my heart is worse than the grief I feel after losing my husband..and that nearly killed me. My broken heart goes out to you.
Mike, Paula, I'm so sorry to hear about these painful losses. Sadly, as we get older the losses in our lives grow. I wish there were responses other than just "like" on substack so that we could send one like the caring hug on FB.
Jeff, take whatever time you need. You have to be patient with yourself. You need to heal and it’s not a quick process. I’m sure your beloved wife is whispering in your ear to take care of you. We’re here for you. Hugs
and to repeat my comment from last week's day off, "by the way, I am very aware of how lucky and privileged I am. most people do not have a hundred thousand or more people who care about them. that has to make a difference in the grieving process. so, once again, thank you. I love you all"
I really wanted to take a break yesterday but i couldn't NOT write about the State of the Gibbering Idiot speech
Thanks for taking one for the team, Jeff. (You deserve a pumpkin risotto!)
If I knew how to make pumpkin risotta and ship it so it would get there in pristine condition, that’d be my day today. Have a quiet one, Jeff.
HEY! If cold, solidified carbs and fat is (are?) good enough for the hockey players...
Never mind. Jeff surely deserves infinitely better than they do.
one too many pucks to the head!
what joy it must be to lower oneself to enter the PEOPLE'S HOUSE to dine on garbage and treated to rancid company of donnie dikwit himself!
OH JOY OH JOY! garbage in garbage out!
there is nothing that would cause me to have any exchange with the child rapist!
RELEASE ALL EPSTEIN FILES UNREDACTED NOW!
ARREST $$$ PATEL, BLONDE BONDI for violating court orders!
HOLD THEM TO THE SAME STANDARDS!
and yes, i am fuking mad ... STILL!
Furious
"HEY! If cold, solidified carbs and fat is (are?) good enough for the hockey players..."
MALE hockey players.
The women got pumpkin risotto and Stan Tucci:
https://qbcucina.com/blogs/recipes/roast-pumpkin-risotto-crispy-sage
Goldbelly? ( i have no idea if it's any good. i just see the ads all the time)
Very pricy but, some foods are Outstanding and iconic.
See @Elise’s post. Find the deals. Read reviews on & off Goldbelly. Or find a local-to-you restaurant the specializes and delivers.
The US men’s hockey team should be fucking ashamed of themselves. They’re all actually professional millionaires that probably love the shit out of Trump’s tax cuts and loopholes for people like them. My respect for them took a big big hit. Not that they give a single shit about getting any respect from me, obviously.
I’ve had that and it is devine.
I’ve made mushroom risotto. Trying to imagine pumpkin
Love you back Jeff.
You did take a long nap during the shit of the union so that was serious self care there! We are here for you for whatever you can and cannot do. ❤️
Love you brother. Rest easy.
What Mike said! ❤️
You take whatever time you need. Everyone deals with loss differently.
Don't forget, women's brains develop faster than men's.
Have a peaceful day.
It sucks as we all knew it would. It’s really best forgotten.
Take care! ✨
So glad you're taking care of yourself, Jeff. The better you do that, the more effectively the pain can quiet down.
I'm just waiting for the day that Trump chokes on a McDonald's burger . . . IMO that would be the quintessential Happy Meal.
Have a good personal day off Jeff! I’ll post something everyone should watch/read, regarding Epstein and our billionaire overlords:
https://substack.com/@thelefthook/note/p-189184868?r=qvheo&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
We'll always hang in there with you. Take as many breaks as you want...as a kind person tells us all the time, "practice self-care."
Listen to him. It's sound advice.
If ever you'd had a good reason to NOT inflict the State of the Trump Disunion Speech on yourself, this was it!
Major respect for taking one for the team....
Grief has no expiration date. It comes in waves. Just when you think you’re doing okay, you may hit a wall. And this wasn’t just any loss. Mrs. Spouse was the love of your life. So be patient and kind to yourself. Write when you feel like writing, and take a break when you need to. We’re not going anywhere! I promise! ❤️
So well said, Stephanie. You have to allow the grief to ride those waves. Take good care of yourself, Jeff! Like it or not, you have become one of our much needed spokespeople and we all care for your well being.
So true! And, in my experience, the six week mark can be very difficult. Take extra care of yourself then, Jeff – – sending you hugs from Chicago
You owe us nothing
Amen, Stephanie. It only gets worse. And just when you think it might be getting better, it gets worse again. Hang in there Jeff. We're here for you.
🥰
We're with you all the way.
Honestly, you're reaping what you've sown. Your hilarious, snarky, and lusciously profane daily takes have kept us all SANE through the shittiest of timelines. The least we can do is offer our support during this really difficult time.
🫶
Dude, we want you to take care of yourself… Much love to you through this, we are here for all of it as you know!
Do take care, sweetheart💚
I'm taking two mental health days this week. Even without such a profound loss like yours, day to day life right now is so heavy, sometimes you just have to set it down, read a book, go for a walk, do whatever allows you to feel peaceful, even if it's just for a few minutes. And breathe. ❤️
You have built this community, Jeff, and we are grateful to YOU for doing so. Our best to you.
We love you and support you--do whatever you need to do.
I just randomly took a mental health day today myself. Are emails still showing up on my phone? Yes, indeed. Tons of them. I’ve refrained and only responded to one… not because it was urgent but because I was irritated that I sent an email to all about something yesterday and one of them reworded it and sent it back out. Don’t do that!
So glad you self care, Jeff. I am glad you recognize that grief is a long process. Sending you healing energy and love. You keep us laughing and sane❤️
We LOVE you! Everything you write has Claudia between the lines. Keep talking with her. 💔🩷
We love you very much, Jeff!
And you don’t know how much you’re helping others. Because of you I know I am trying to show others more Grace, and I’m sure a lot of people here who mourn with you are doing the same.
We love you, too. I wish there was a good way to let you know just how much. In the meantime, we’ll just keep loving your awesome posts that keep us sane. Your service is much appreciated; know that our hearts are with you as you grieve the loss of Ms. Spouse.
Hey you, go to the bottom of your post and reread the part about self care, and listen to Past You, for the sake of Future You. Sure, the news is maddening and rant-worthy every day, but give your overloaded emotions a full day to rest. We'll still be here tomorrow.
We love you Jeff. Take the time you need
My thoughts exactly about the hockey teams. Shame on the men’s team for allowing themselves to be paraded like a bunch of trained monkeys at the SOTU and the White House. The women have much more integrity (and probably had a way better time)! My thoughts are with you, Jeff.
USA Mens hockey team were used as political props = useful idiots!!
You definitely deserve a break Jeff….we all understand and love you to pieces! And yes, our prez is a cheap, slimy attention seeker who hates women! Thanks Tucci…the women’s team got the better end of that!!! lol Take care…JD is coming near our city today so I will be lifting my middle finger in the air frequently….
Good luck to you, Jeff. This has been one bastard of a winter even in the warm climates. That story of the supercool Tucci made me happy. Von Schitzenpants will fail! Remember—every day we’re one day closer to the one of the happiest days of our lives
Jeff, you are awesome! Even in your grief, you give back. Thank you for that. We all love you, you know. I think you are wonderful and take time any time.
Good people pass away too soon yet this f’ing monster keeps going 🤷🏼♀️
He's not long for this world. Imagine what they had to dope him up with to keep him standing and talking for 2 hours.
He dozes during the day because he’s obsessed with the late night hosts taking the p out of him and what others are saying, I hope Jimmy, John, Stephen are the death of him
They rushed him out of the chambers pretty quick when it was over. Kinda want to know why, kinda think I'm better off not giving a shit.
A remark overheard at a dinner party, a remarried widow: “The bad ones don’t die. You can twist their necks like a chicken’s and they won’t die!”
Her soused spouse sat nearly unconscious drink in hand unfazed by her speech. I was very young. Somehow I knew she missed her true love more than she hated her second husband.
I truly hate Drumpf. Love you, Jeff. Take care.
Right there with you Jeff , Wendy is going to the urgent care facility as we speak
No writing for me today
Hope you feel better soon, Wendy!
I hope you are okay, Wendy.
Oh no! Please keep us posted.
Hope you’re okay Wendy!!!!! Take care!
❤️🩹💚
Take care, Wendy. I hope you will feel better soon.
I hope you get to feeling better,Wendy!
Take care, Wendy 🙏
Good luck Wendy. Personally I may be getting an overdue back surgery on Tuesday. One of three to come.
Good luck Douglas with your back surgery❤️
Jeff, you have used your scalding pen in the service of democracy for many years. Grieving takes time, and we will be here when you publish again. Take care friend.
Great juxtaposition of McDonalds/men’s team (low class) and Stanley Tucci and the Women’s Team (high class)! 🙌🫶
I'm surprised men's team weren't served Top Ramen and 30¢ grocery store frozen burritos
Well, they did get hockey pucks, appropriately enough. I wonder--did they get fries with that?
😂😂😂
Here is what an expert , life long womens hockey coach said about the mess that Trump and his minions plotted . :
Digit Murphy , Brown Univ . Womens Coach
I want to talk about this moment not as politics, but as a coach, a parent, and someone who has lived inside locker rooms for decades.
Because what bothered me most wasn’t controversy.
It was the loss of basic leadership and common decency.
These are lessons we teach children:
Don’t laugh along when something feels wrong.
Stand up.
Protect the people around you.
Own mistakes quickly.
Apologize when necessary.
Leadership doesn’t change those rules. It raises the standard.
First, I feel for the men’s team. They were celebrating a significant moment and were clearly caught off guard. That moment should have belonged to the athletes. Locker rooms are sacred spaces where teams celebrate together, and allowing outside distractions into that environment changes the dynamic immediately.
As a parent, I also want to speak about Ellen Hughes. I understand the instinct to protect your children—I would defend my own sons too. But we need to be careful not to turn this into another situation where a woman becomes the focus of criticism or blame for something larger.
At the same time, her leadership requires preparation and awareness. When you hold a role within USA Hockey, difficult or uncomfortable questions should be anticipated. Moments like this require both protection and accountability—standing by your athletes while also reinforcing standards of respect and signaling clearly when an apology is needed.
If I were breaking down the tape as a coach:
1. Protect the room. Not every outside presence belongs in a team’s celebration space.
2. When faced with an uncomfortable moment, choose respect, not dismissal.
3. Own the behavior quickly. “Boys will be boys” is not leadership. Accountability is.
This isn’t about politics.
It’s about culture, standards, and how we model leadership for the next generation watching us.
Respect isn’t complicated. But it does require courage.
Take care, man.
And don't eat any MickyD's...
Yes, we want him to stay healthy.
So men's hockey won the game and lost America.
Not all. Five refused invitations to the WH ! Yay
Not so fast…..every one of the 5 said they would have gone to the WH but had prior commitments. Some were even sad about missing the WH invitation. Do your own research about this
Half a column by Jeff is worth two columns by anyone else. See you back when you feel like it Jeff. We’re thinking about you.
Of course he wouldn't host the women's hockey team because women are not real athletes. Giving them a team is DEI.
Plus, as we all know, women are icky and scary!!
There is that, too.
Such a depressingly common attitude among men.
I am deeply sorry that you lost your life partner. I lost my son this year, and it is painful
There can be nothing as painful as losing a child 💔. I have a son who cut me out of his life 7 years ago. I know he is fine because he's still in touch with my daughter, but the pain in my heart is worse than the grief I feel after losing my husband..and that nearly killed me. My broken heart goes out to you.
Mike, Paula, I'm so sorry to hear about these painful losses. Sadly, as we get older the losses in our lives grow. I wish there were responses other than just "like" on substack so that we could send one like the caring hug on FB.
☹️❤️
Thank you
Love Mike
🙏💚
Jeff, take whatever time you need. You have to be patient with yourself. You need to heal and it’s not a quick process. I’m sure your beloved wife is whispering in your ear to take care of you. We’re here for you. Hugs