MAGA shits its own pants, blames Joe Biden

spoiler alert: he didn’t do that

picture this: it’s a gorgeous day at Motel-a-Lago, and everyone is having the time of their lives.

well, not exactly everyone. there’s one deteriorating old coot in steep cognitive collapse who’s having a bit of a struggle.

‘oh fuck no, it’s happening again.’

‘no, no, not now,’ moans Preznit Fuckwit, as he shits himself, right there on the ninth green.

he turns to his beloved diaper nurse, Natalie. ‘why?’ he asks her. ‘why did Joe Biden do this?’

this is an administration that won’t take responsibility for anything. why should they, when it’s so much easier to blame their clownfucktacular failures on Joe Biden?

reporter: “a lot of people around here can’t afford to fly. can you say something about gas prices being a dollar more than they were a year ago?”

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy: “no one complained about Joe Biden’s inflation, which was wild.”

keep Joe Biden’s hallowed name out of your pretty-boy reality-show-never-was mouth, you utter fucking failure.

what in God’s green hellscape is Sean Duffy talking about with this revisionist garbage, that ‘no one complained when prices went up under Joe Biden?’ complaining all is that piss-baby whiners like Duffy did, when Joe was president.

I’m so old, I remember all the way back to four years ago, when every time the price of gas went up a penny, every pump in sight ended up covered with these infantile stickers.

never mind that Biden’s inflation wasn’t the self-inflicted result of some disastrous clusterfuck of a don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran that shut down the Strait of Hormuz and skyrocketed the price of every fucking thing.

everyone seems to have forgotten that Joe Biden inherited an economy in tatters, brought on by a botched pandemic response that got dumped in his lap from the pants-shitting waste of space currently occupying the Oval Bordello.

remember supply chain issues? remember not being able to buy toilet paper?

the entire MAGAsphere should be getting down on its scabby little knees to thank Joe Biden for skillfully bringing us out of that pandemic, and rebuilding the US economy at a faster rate than any other country on Earth.

Joe Biden made the lives of We the People better. what the fuck has Sean Duffy done to make anyone’s life better?

jack shit, that’s what.

is Sean Duffy even aware that he has a job? I’m guessing no, because this jackass spent the entire summer filming a reality show — a reality show that no one’s ever seen.

ostensibly, this ‘show’ was supposed to inspire American families to take their children on their own summer road trips to honor America’s 250th birthday. but here we are, mere days from the start of the new school year, and this alleged series remains unaired. how the fuck is that supposed to inspire anyone?

meanwhile, Duffy raked in millions for his imaginary show.

Nearly every sponsor declined to share with Forbes how much they spent but it’s reasonable they collectively spent as much as $5 million. The Great American Road Trip, Inc., a non-profit organization, sold top-tier “platinum” partnerships for $1 million, with “gold” ($500,000), “silver” ($250,000) and “bronze” ($100,000) levels also available.

oh, so — just like everything else in the Donnyverse — the whole thing was a grift from the get-go. why am I not surprised?

in any sane administration, Sean Duffy would have already been fired for pulling shit like this — but we don’t have a sane administration. we have one where greedy, incompetent shit-kazoos come to Washington with the expectation of enriching themselves and delivering nothing in return.

‘what if Fred Flintstone were racist’ is a question no one asked, but we got our answer anyway, in the form of ‘Border Czar’ Tom Homan, who somehow made away with a literal bag full of cash, and no one said boo.

and don’t even get me started on the Flim-Flam-Man-in-Chief, who has traded on the powers of his office and raked in billions of dollars.

gee, I can’t wait for Sean Duffy to explain how glomming millions of dollars and delivering bupkis is somehow Joe Biden’s fault.

---

and when the Donnyverse isn’t blaming it all on Joe Biden, they’re blaming it on the communist menace.

Texas Republican Rep. Brandon Gill: “there’s something wrong in the country right now. wages are not keeping up with inflation. rents are way too high… in reality, it’s these left-wing ideologies that have created all of these problems in the first place.”

isn’t great to live in a country where one political party gets to have an entire media ecosystem devoted to keeping its brain-damaged base fed on fever-swamp fairy-tale nonsense? we’re number one!

how does that even work, that of all our economic woes are somehow the fault of ‘left-wing ideologies’?

make no mistake, the left does not set the agenda in America.

not one actual socialist (except maybe for Bernie Sanders) — much less any true communist — holds national office in this country. Republicans control every lever of power in America: the presidency, the civil service, the judiciary, the House and the Senate — but somehow all this economic wreckage they’ve inflicted on us it the fault of Francesca Hong tweeting about how she doesn’t like Thanksgiving?

fuck you for even trying to pin the blame for all this on ‘left-wing ideologies.’

by the way, I did a google search for ‘Karl Marx I did that stickers,’ and there aren’t any.

someone is really missing out on a prime business opportunity here.

Republicans have fucked this country seven ways from breakfast, and they refuse to take responsibility for their actions — because they totally fucking suck.

---

know who else totally fucking sucks, and won’t take responsibility for his own fuckuppery?

Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, that’s who.

you’ve all heard the horror stories coming from the sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, haven’t you? long story short, these poor souls have been shamefully and criminally mistreated by their own government.

they’ve been stuck on their ship for eight months, with no end to their deployment in sight. that’s way too long. normally, warships dock at a port every four to six weeks. you know, so the sailors get a break. some rest and relaxation. but not these sailors. they’ve been trapped on their ship for over half a year. morale is in the shitter. there’s no milk, no fresh fruit. food brought in by supply ships often arrives already rotten.

“Why isn’t there milk?!” the family member asked in one exchange. The sailor explained that the ship’s supply runs simply can’t keep perishables fresh long enough to make the trip out to the carrier. “So the supply ship that comes here can’t bring fruits and stuff cause it can’t stay fresh long enough with the time it gets them to get here,” the sailor wrote. “So we haven’t had anything fresh but meat cause it’s freezed. Sometimes it gets here rotten.”

conditions are so fucking horrid aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln that some sailors have contemplated suicide — and one of them actually jumped overboard and had to be rescued.

to treat our own sailors like this is disgusting and immoral. you send service members into an active war zone and tell them to fight — and maybe even die — for their country, you fucking well make sure they’re taken care of. it’s the barest minimum that should be expected from a government.

so, I’ll bet when Piss-Drunk Pete found out about this, he blew his stack, and vowed to make things right with the abandoned sailors, right? heads rolled, right?

wrong.

no, he didn’t do any of that shit. what this lowlife fucking scumbag did was call the sailors liars.

“that’s completely misrepresented. listen, we make sure that every ship, every crew, every captain, has everything we can provide them at every single moment. some deployments are longer than others and I have more respect and gratitude for those sailors than anybody. what they do in those high seas in those austere conditions with less port calls — it’s incredible.”

what the fuck is wrong with this psychopathic dunk-tank clown? he sure has a weird way of showing his ‘respect and gratitude’ — by abandoning those sailors and not even trying to solve their issues.

in any sane administration — there I go again, dreaming — the president would have called Pete into his office and gone fucking ballistic, ordered him to fix this shit, pronto, and then fired or at least disciplined him, so it didn’t happen again.

but no — what this piss-drunk fuckface got from Preznit Fuckwit was rewarded. he got to fly on Catering Cart One, while Karoline Lie-vitt and Liddle Marco Big Shoes were forced to be human bait for Iranian missiles.

as for Donny, even he couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck about the sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln. this malignant toad was too busy running to the Supreme Court to whine about how unfair it is that nobody will let him build his vulgar Epstein Dance Hall.

I can’t fucking even with any of these fucksnoots. every single one of them claims to looooove our troops — and then goes out and proves beyond any doubt that they couldn’t give less of a shit about them.

and not one member of the Donnyverse — not Sean Duffy, not Piss-Drunk Pete, not any elected Republican — and certainly not Dear Leader — will ever take the smallest bit of responsibility for their evil actions.

but tell me once again how it’s all Joe Biden’s fault. that’s such a cool story.

---

well, it’s Friday. we made through another week in one piece. let’s reward ourselves with some Daily Claudia and get out of here.

here are two from a roof party at Scott and Kathy’s NYC apartment on June 16, 2022. in this first one, I have no memory of who this guy is, or what’s so funny on his phone — but that’s my shoulder and white hair, on the right.

and here’s bff Kathy, Kathy’s brother Doug, and Ms Spouse.

have a great Friday, everyone. remember to blame all your shit on Joe Biden.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.