Mad King Donny’s secret crypto dinner breaks new ground in corrupt fuckery

the greed goes up to eleven — and stays there

Little Donny Fuckface knows more about being a greedy, corrupt sleazebag than all the other greedy, corrupt sleazebags put together.

just look what he’s been up to lately: Qatar gave Donny his very own $400 million vulgar flying bordello — in return for favors. Bone Saw Arabia gave him a bag of burgers — in return for favors. Syria promised he could build a gaudy tower in Damascus — in return for favors. Serbia, too, is getting in on the golden tower game — can you guess why?

and last night, 220 winners of the Who Can Give Donny The Most Money Contest got to have dinner with Dear Leader.

Mr. Trump and his business partners organized the dinner to promote sales of his $TRUMP cryptocurrency, a memecoin launched just days before Mr. Trump’s inauguration. A memecoin is a type of digital currency tied to an online joke or mascot; it typically has no function beyond speculation. But Mr. Trump’s coins have become a vehicle for investors, including many foreigners, to funnel money to his family.

it’s fucking stunning how shameless this grift is. when you buy one of Donny’s ‘memecoins,’ you’re not buying anything tangible. it has no value. it’s not even an investment. no one expects its price to increase.

Its price peaked at $75 in January before plummeting to less than $8 in April - it was trading at around $12.50 at the time of writing.

it’s simply a way to funnel money straight into Donny’s pockets — and here’s the beauty part: it’s anonymous. no one knows who these ‘investors’ are. they could be CEOs looking to curry favor. they could be foreign countries seeking tariff breaks. we have no fucking clue.

“Its only function is to make money for the Trump family crypto empire,” CNN business journalist Allison Morrow said of the meme coin.

“We don’t know their identities. And that’s partly because crypto is anonymous by design. You can’t quite track crypto wallets all the way back to the individual or to the entity that gave the money,” she continued.

cranking the greed dial way past eleven, Donny held a Who Can Give Me The Most Money Contest to reward ‘investors’ who bought the most memecoins.

last night, the top 220 shovelers-of-cash-into-Donny’s-pocket got to have dinner at his Virginia golf motel — and today, the top 25 shovelers will get a personal tour of the White House.

here’s what we know about what went on last night: fuck-all.

you want to know who attended Donny’s corruptionpalooza? fuck you, that’s their names.

you want to know what countries they came from? fuck you, that’s where they live.

you want to know how much Donny personally profited off of each attendee? fuck you, that’s how much.

here’s the only thing we do know: that Donny is a Very Special Boy Who Gets To Be Corrupt, because reasons.

reporter: ‘on the president’s dinner tonight, will the White House commit to making a list of the attendees public so people can see who’s paying for that kind of access to the president?’

Karoline Leavitt: “the president is attending it in his personal time.”

oh, his personal time. Donny’s off the clock — so everyone wondering exactly what kind of corruption is being perpetrated right under our noses can go fuck themselves, am I understanding this correctly?

I have a question. between golfing and watching himself on TV and jamming burgers down his gullet and babysitting Elon’s kid, the Crown Prince Snotwiper, when is Donny actually on the clock?

it is that one hour a day around 3pm when the laziest fuck on the planet finally waddles into the Oval Office to sign some executive order about how everyone at Harvard has to wear their underpants on their head? is that when Donny’s officially presidenting, and can’t be openly soliciting bribes?

let’s recap where we are: the Supreme Court says that when Dear Leader is presidening, he’s a Very Special Boy Who Can Break All The Laws, because immunity, and Karoline Lie-vitt says that when Donny isn’t presidenting, he’s still a Very Special Boy Who Can Break All The Laws — because it’s his personal time.

isn’t that special?

oh look! CNN stopped sniffing up Joe Biden’s pantleg long enough to actually commit a journalism. they tracked down White House Energy Vampire Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett and asked him pointed questions about all this corrupt fuckery.

CNN: ‘Trump is gonna host hundreds of people who have purchased millions in his memecoin at the White House. today, you heard the press secretary Karoline Leavitt say that he’s doing this on his personal time at his private club — but tomorrow, the top 25 people who spent the most money on his memecoin are eligible for a private tour of the White House. are you comfortable with this dinner and these tours, which are likely to go to wealthy foreigners?”

Hassett: “everything the president done has been carefully scrutinized by White House counsel and they've given him the guidance that that’s okay, and that’s enough for me.”

oh, the White House Counsel — the guy Donny hand-picked from his own team of ace parking garage lawyers to be a yes-man and rubber-stamp everything Donny wants to do — said it’s okay. well, that changes everything. I feel so much better about all this corruption, now that Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett has explained that.

it’s all so shameless. everyone in the White House knows exactly what’s going on, and they’re all lying about it right to our faces.

Donny and his overgrown failsons are openly corrupt, and they don’t give a crusty fuck who knows it. one of Cokey McSniffles’ advisors actually said this in so many words.

Arthur Schwartz, an adviser to Don Jr., downplayed his influence in the White House but declined to respond in greater detail when asked whether his activities create ethical problems. “Write your ridiculous story. Literally no one cares,” Schwartz said via text. “We don’t actually give a fuck.”

because, seriously, who’s going to stop them? certianly, none of the spineless shitweasels in the Republican party.

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and now, here’s your daily dose of batshit — and before we get into it, I want to caution you that listening to this clip of President Pudding Cup may actually make you stupider.

so, please take that into consideration. ready? here we go.

“they will fight the drug companies. the drug companies are very worried that they’re gonna fight, and that’s okay. if they fight, we'll just say, ‘that’s ok, we’re not gonna let you sell any more cars into the United States or we’re not gonna let you sell any more wine or liquor or alcohol’ or something that’s actually way more important to them than the drugs.”

yeah, that’ll show those drug companies. no more car or liquor sales for you.

I wonder if one of the worthless scribblers might like to take some time from their months-long obsession with figuring out exactly how old Joe Biden is, and check out the current occupant of the White House.

Donny’s brain has dripped out of his ears to the point where no one can even decipher what he’s yammering about. doesn’t that sound like something worth investigating?

I thought so.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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