Little Donny Four-Indictments fucked around in Georgia and now he’s finding out

mob boss Donald Trump and 18 of his criminal co-conspirators have been indicted on a total of 41 counts

holy shit, life just got a whole lot worse for the quadrice-indicted twice-impeached popular-vote-losing insurrection-leading judge-threatening witness-tampering serial-sexual-predating draft-dodging casino-bankrupting daughter-perving hush-money-paying real-estate-scamming ketchup-hurling justice-obstructing classified-war-plan-thieving weather-map-defacing paper-towel-flinging tax-cheating evidence-destroying charity-defrauding money-laundering fluorescent tangerine jackass currently hiding under the bed in his shitty New Jersey golf-motel-and-ex-wife-cemetery.

mob boss Little Donny Fuckface and 18 of his criminal co-conspirators have been indicted on a total of 41 counts for engaging in racketeering in an attempt to overturn the 2020 presidential election.

the list of Trump’s Georgia co-conspirators reads like a who’s-who of America’s most-unctuous shitheels. Rudy Giuliani. John Eastman. Sidney Powell. Mark Meadows. Jeffrey Clark. Kenneth Chesebro. Jenna Ellis.

all of them had their fingers in the election fuckery pie and now all of them are sinking in a legal sargasso of shit.

the 13 charges that apply specifically to Trump include racketeering, forgery, election fraud, false statements, perjury, and soliciting public officers to violate their oaths.

the most serious charge is the first one: racketeering, or, more specifically, violation of the Georgia RICO Act.

a good explainer of Georgia’s RICO laws can be found here. but let’s skip ahead to the part you all want to know about.

In Georgia, it’s a felony conviction that carries a prison term of five to 20 years; a fine of $25,000 or three times the amount of money gained from the criminal activity, whichever is greater; or both a prison sentence and a fine.

here’s the beauty part: there is no get-out-of-deep-shit-free card in Georgia. Republican Governor Brian Kemp has no power to summarily pardon Trump and send him on his merry way.

and it gets better: Trump can’t even apply for a pardon until 5 years after he completes his sentence.

don’t you hate it when being a no-mercy tough-on-crime Republican comes back to bite you on the ass?

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hey, let’s check in with the email lady and see how she’s doing.

yeah, us too, Hillary. us too.

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here’s a thought: Lindsey Graham skated. the indictment does not mention him at all. did he flip on Donald?

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I can’t repeat this enough: none of this had to happen. none of it. Donny could have taken his loss like a mature adult and fucked off and gone home. he could have quietly returned the documents he stole, and right now he could be golfing and laundering Saudi money and fleecing his gullible worshipers and getting his stupid face on Fox News — and not worrying about spending the rest of his miserable life sinking deeper into a big fucking legal hell of his own making.

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Donald, if you’re out there reading this, can I ask a personal favor? can you please fucking learn how to spell indicted?

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an arrest warrant has been issued for Donald Trump. he has been given until August 25th to turn himself in.

there will be a mug shot and fingerprints.

and — unlike Manhattan and Florida and DC — the whole arraignment will be televised.

Georgia law requires that cameras be allowed during judicial proceedings with a judge's approval. Cameras are seen as an important aspect of transparency.

settle in and pass the popcorn. this is going to get good.