let’s all point and laugh at the losing loser who just spent an entire day losing

Iran, Israel, the corrupt slush fund, and more...

is your president a fucking loser? take this super-fun quiz and find out.

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question one: has your president completely lost the thread and shit the bed on Iran?

remember yesterday, when Preznit Fuckwit posted to his crappy app about how Iran really really really REALLY wanted to make a deal, and how Donny would have absolutely dealt up a super dealtastic deal by now, except for all that infernal ‘chirping’ from the Democrats? chirping like few thought possible, maybe the loudest chirping of all time?

would everyone please stop the chirping so Donny can get some work done?

yeah, well, it seems that Iran just told Dear Leader to stick his chirping where the sun don’t shine.

Breaking news: Iran said it is breaking off talks with the Trump administration to end the war and reopen the Strait of Hormuz following increased U.S. and Israeli strikes in the region.

wait, Iran is breaking off all negotiations, just like that? wow, I’ll bet Donny is hopping mad about Iran giving him the finger. there’s no doubt that he’s going to immediately spring onto action and—

hang on, he’s doing nothing?

EAMON JAVERS
Do you think the negotiations are over now, or is this a bluff?

PRESIDENT TRUMP
I don’t care if they’re over, honestly. I really don’t care. I couldn’t care less. If they’re over, they’re over. If they’re not, you know, I think they took too much time. Frankly, I thought they started to get very boring. They were giving us what we needed, but I think I think they handled the negotiations poorly. It took too long. I thought they were tapping us along that’s all. Yeah, they were.

do I have this right? the laziest shit-kazoo ever to crap a diaper in the Oval Bordello is bored of the clusterfuck he started? on what planet is getting bored of a war an option? is there some chapter of I’m not aware of in Sun Tzu’s The Art Of War where you get a free pass if you get bored of your own war?

what the hell?

this blundering imbecile, acting first and thinking never, started an unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war without have any clear plan of action — and now that shit has gone completely fucking sideways, with the Strait closed down, the price of oil in the stratosphere, and the entire Middle East destabilized, this fool is just going to walk away from it all, leaving the mess to be cleaned up by someone else? because he’s bored? it’s no longer his problem?

what does this moron expect will happen next? is the Magical War Fairy supposed to come down and wave her wand and make it all better? is that his plan B?

welcome to Donny’s entire soft, pampered life. every time he’s fucked up, there’s always been someone willing to clean up after him. his father. bankers. the Russian mob. a cowardly and compliant Congress.

except this time, there’s no one around to clean up the biggest mess of his life — and he can’t be bothered to give one microscopic shit about it, because he’s bored.

wow, what a fucking loser.

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question two: do other world leaders pretty much tell your president to go fuck himself?

Donny had a phone call with his despot bestie Bibi Netanyahu yesterday, and, according to Axios, Dear Leader went on a foul-mouthed tirade.

Summarizing Trump’s remarks to Netanyahu, the U.S. official said: “You’re fucking crazy. You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me. I’m saving your ass. Everybody hates you now. Everybody hates Israel because of this.” A second source briefed on the call said Trump was “pissed” and at one point yelled at Netanyahu: “What the fuck are you doing?”

Donny seems nice. I don’t recall a chapter in the Art of the Deal where it says to completely lose your shit and fume like a colicky asshole when you don’t get your way, but whatever.

Donny then took a victory lap on his crappy app.

I had a conversation with Bibi Netanyahu today, asking him not to go into a major raid of Beirut, Lebanon. He turned his Troops around. Thank you Bibi! I also had a conversation with Representatives of the Leaders of Hezbollah, and they agreed to stop shooting at Israel, and its soldiers. Likewise, Israel agreed to stop shooting at them. Let’s see how long that lasts — Hopefully it will be for ETERNITY! President DONALD J. TRUMP

so, did Bibi really agree to turn his troops around? let’s find out.

Tonight, I spoke with President Trump and told him that if Hezbollah does not cease attacking our cities and citizens—Israel will attack terror targets in Beirut.

This stance of ours remains unchanged.

In parallel, the IDF will continue to operate as planned in southern Lebanon.

nope, sorry, it looks like the genocidal maniac is going to keep genociding his merry way across the Middle East.

but that’s par for the course for Dear Leader. his credibility is shot, and no one listens to him any more. not Iran, and certainly not Israel. he’s just some pants-pissing foul-mouthed buffoon whom everyone laughs at — and he’s too delusionally convinced of his own nonexistent greatness to realize it.

how could Donny have misread the situation so thoroughly? what a fucking loser.

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question three: is your president so out of touch that he endorses a candidate who hasn’t shown up for work in three months?

Tom Kean has my Complete and Total Endorsement for Re-Election. Election Day is Tuesday, June 2nd. GET OUT AND VOTE FOR TOM — HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!

Tom Kean will never let you down? what the fuck are you talking about, Donny? Tom Kean is teaching a master class in letting everyone down. Kean disappeared last March, and no one has any clue where he is.

For almost three months, Rep. Tom Kean Jr.’s whereabouts and condition have been a mystery in his New Jersey congressional district. Now they are becoming a source of growing alarm for his party in Washington, where Republicans fear his prolonged absence could cost them his swing seat — and possibly their House majority.

no one has any idea where Tom Kean is, because he won’t even bother to answer the phone. hey, maybe Tom Kean simply got bored of being a Congressman, and just walked away from it. I hear getting bored is a thing now.

how could Donny not know that a key House Republican has been missing in action for over ninety days, putting his own party’s razor-thin majority in jeopardy?

what a clueless fucking loser.

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question four: did your president’s beloved $1.8 billion slush fund just go fuckity-bye?

it sure looks like it.

The Trump administration has signaled to Republican congressional leaders that it plans to drop the $1.8 billion “anti-weaponization” fund, though it was unclear how firm or permanent that plan is, according to two sources familiar with the matter.

everyone hated this corrupt scheme to enrich the fuckheads who did January 6th — Democrats, Republicans, the public, and the courts.

with the legality of the slush fund tied up in court and congressional Republicans threatening to legislate it straight into the shitter, Donny’s minders back in the White House seem willing to concede that the whole thing is a non-starter.

now comes the part where we throw our heads back in laughter, because this one’s a win for We the People.

but Donny? he sure is a fucking loser.

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for those of you keeping score at home, that’s four embarrassing losses in one day for Dear Leader. five, if you include the news that House Democrats plan to introduce legislation to block the ginormous fugly Epstein Victory Arch he wants to put up right next to Arlington National Cemetery. oh, and Donny has now gone six days without being seen in public. why are his handlers keeping him under wraps? will we ever get a true medical report?

but the news wasn’t all bad for Donny. he’s still got Vanilla Ice.

after every other musical act bailed on Donny’s ‘Freedom 250’ vanity birthday party, the only one still standing by him is Vanilla Ice — an irrelevant barely-was who hasn’t charted since 1990.

ooof. how pathetic. how fucking humiliating.

what a loser.

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oh, is it time for some Daily Claudia? spoiler alert: yes, it is.

I had dinner last night with our besties Scott and Kathy, and I asked them if they had any photos of Ms. Spouse that I could post — and boy, did they ever. here’s a few from the trove they sent over.

here we all are, chowing down on some crabs on the 4th of July, 2022.

and here are some pics from the 35th wedding anniversary party they threw for us, back in September 2019.

have a great Tuesday, everyone. don’t be a fucking loser.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.