let’s all just enjoy watching Jon Ossoff use Piss-Drunk Pete as a chew toy

that sure was satisfying

Pete Kegstand is what would happen if arrogance and an elevated blood-alcohol level became a real boy.

Pete has no business being Preznit Fuckwit’s Secretary of Defense. he has zero qualifications. he’s a dunk-tank clown — a failed weekend chat show host who Donny saw flattering him on TV.

he’s a serial fuck-up who butt-dialed classified war plans to a reporter. he’s a preening peacock with his own makeup studio. he’s a crackpot brimming with counterfactual mumbo-jumbo about things like testosterone levels, who never stops babbling about warfighters and lethality. he’s a zealot who has covered himself in Christofascist tattoos.

plus, he’s a racist, misogynistic asshole.

all of which makes it super fucking satisfying to watch Georgia Senator Jon Ossoff use Pete as a chew toy.

John Ossoff: “Mr. Secretary, early in the conflict, day three, you said one of those core objectives was to, quote, destroy the missile threat, and as you restated it on day five to, quote, obliterate Iran’s missiles and drones. those were clearly and repeatedly stated core objectives of the campaign, which four months ago you declared had been completed victoriously with every single objective achieved. were those objectives achieved four months ago?”

Pete Hegseth: “no one ever stated that every single missile was gone. ultimately, combat ineffective means they’re not able to dig them out of their UGFs [underground facilities] and shoot at us.”

Ossoff: “had the missile threat been defeated four months ago?”

Hegseth: “it doesn’t mean they don’t have underground facilities where they put missiles in them and hold onto them because they’re the world’s largest state sponsor of terrorism. so we never expected they would stop having capabilities to shoot. the question is, at scale, against an opponent like the United States of America, which went toe to toe with them in Iran, couldn’t….”

Ossoff continued: “you stated on March 8th, day nine of the war, on 60 Minutes, you assured the American people of Iranian surrender. does that remain your prediction?”

Hegseth: “ultimately, Iran will never have a nuclear weapon to threaten the United States of America.that has been the objective, and it remains so.”

Ossoff: “so, just to review, you will not answer whether your statement made on the fourteenth day of the war that Iran’s military had been, quote, destroyed and made combat ineffective was a truthful statement to the American people, as you sit here and ask for tens of billions more for the conflict.”

fuck yeah! go, Jon!

the difference between these two could not be starker. Senator Ossoff is a serious person who brings all the receipts. Pete is a pompous fool who likes to posture and yell shit.

Piss-Drunk Pete had come to the Senate with his hand out. he needs more moolah to flush down the toilet for his unnecessary, unprovoked and illegal don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran.

apparently, the Pentagon, of all things, is running out of money.

The Pentagon faces an urgent budget shortfall caused largely by the war in Iran, with some critical lines of funding set to run out within weeks even as President Donald Trump escalates the conflict with Tehran, according to lawmakers and current and former U.S. officials.

wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on there for one fucking minute. how is the Pentagon short on cash? doesn’t the US military already get, like, all the goddamned money in the world?

six-fingered plagiarism robot, help me out here.

The military accounts for approximately 13% to 14% of the total U.S. federal budget. This allocation represents roughly $916 billion to $961 billion in direct funding.

holy shit, that’s a rounding error away from a trillion bucks.

Piss-Drunk Pete has already set fire to $37.5 billion dollars on this swell debacle in Iran that has accomplished none of its goals, but did get the Strait of Hormuz shut down, crashing the world’s economy. so we’ve got that going for us. which is nice.

now Pete’s back in front of the Senate, asking for $67 billion more.

why? so he can waste twice as many tomahawk missiles and get the Strait twice as shut down?

I keep hearing from these shit-kazoos about how the Iran war is already over, because totally obliterated yadda yadda. so why does Pete now need two times as much money as he’s already spent?

do you know how many teachers’ salaries sixty-seven bil would cover? I don’t either, but you know who does? the plagiarism robot.

A total of $67 billion would pay for 899,389 to 1,029,186 average US teacher salaries for one year, depending on the data source used for calculation.

a million new teachers in America sounds nice, doesn’t it? yeah, well, you can go fuck yourself and your stupid dreams of education, because warmongers always come first.

it’s the same old story. you can’t have healthcare, or a social safety net. your kids can’t have a hot lunch at school. none of that shit can go down, because Piss-Drunk Pete needs to lob more missiles in his futile attempt to make up for his sexual shortcomings.

by the way, Jon Ossoff wasn’t the only Democratic Senator to chew-toy Secretary Kegstand.

Jeanne Shaheen has had just about enough of Piss-Drunk Pete’s bullshit.

Pete Hegseth: “I appreciate as much as anyone winning a war, but I sit in front of a committee that wants to talk about winning a war that’s been going for 4 years, and talks about defeat in a conflict that’s been going on for 4 months to prevent Iran—”

Shaheen: “I don’t want to hear your speech.”

Jack Reed also thinks Pete should enjoy a steaming hot cup of shut the fuck up.

Hegseth: “President Trump deserves the kind of praise he should get for undertaking this effort.”

Reep: “excuse me. so he should be praised for starting a war without authority and creating a situation in which the world economy is suffering tremendously?”

seriously, fuck Piss-Drunk Pete and his greedy request for an endless supply of money. if he’s so hot to wage war on Iran, let him do what teachers who don’t have adequate funding for classroom supplies are forced to do.

let him hold a fucking bake sale.

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meanwhile, over on his crappy app, King Fuckface the First was congratulating himself for having only killed 18 members of the military — so far.

Afghanistan War: 20 years, 2,000 DEAD.
Iraq War: 9 years, 4,600 DEAD.
Vietnam War: 19 years and 5 months, 58,220 DEAD.
Korean War: 3 years and 1 month, 36,574 DEAD.
Venezuela War: 1 day, 0 DEAD.
Iran Military Conflict: 4 months, 18 DEAD.

first of all, fuck you. eighteen dead is still eighteen young people who had their whole lives in front of them — except now they don’t, because some bloodthirsty shithead decided to start a reckless war of choice.

what a callous shithead — and what a nonsensical talking point.

if Donny had been president in July 1965, he could have bragged about how his dumbfuck war in Vietnam had only gotten 103 soldiers killed, because according to the plagiarism robot,

Official U.S. military records from the National Archives show that 103 U.S. service members died during the first four months following the deployment of U.S. combat troops in March 1965. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

oddly enough, not one of those 103 soldiers was Donny, because he was too busy having his daddy hire a quack doctor to gin up a bullshit note about imaginary bone spurs.

now, wait a minute — where have heard this ‘what’s the big deal, it’s not like anyone’s died’ rationalization before?

oh right.

that’s an actual, unretouched screen shot from a February 27, 2020 Hannity broadcast, with Fox News’ Plankhead of the Airwaves assuring us that covid was no big deal, because, after all, no one has died from it.

how’d that work out for us, Sean?

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happy second anniversary to one of the most-hopeful and also one of the turned-out-to-be-wrongest posts I’ve ever written.

oh well. it all seemed so simple at the time.

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we could certainly use some Daily Claudia right about now, so let’s.

oh look, it’s Baby Kate and her mom. undated, but Katie was born in July 1991, so it’s not too long after that.

and here’s Ms Spouse and Katie in Newport, Rhode Island, in the mid-1990s. yes, we sure did like our ocean-side summer vacations.

have a great Wednesday, everyone. chill the fuck out, we’ve got this.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.