Jon Ossoff mentioned diaper nurse Natalie, and every Republican completely lost their shit

scenes from a performative meltdown

on Sunday, Georgia Democratic Senator Jon Ossoff delivered a barn-burner of a speech, in which he ripped Preznit Fuckwit several new ones, for being the incompetent imbecile who lied our country into an unwinnable war against Iran, and for being the callous toad who is ignoring the plight of the five thousand sailors trapped aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln.

but all that was lost on the MAGAverse, because there were three words toward the end of Ossoff’s speech that caused every Republican to immediately shit a massive, white-hot brick and explode into paroxysms of performative outrage.

“he wants to build his ballroom and travel with Natalie on their apparently defenseless flying palace gifted by the Emir of Qatar.”

that’s right, Jon Ossoff went there. he brought up the weird stalker-slash-diaper-nurse who is now Dear Leader’s constant companion.

once those three words — ‘travel with Natalie’ — escaped Ossoff’s lips, the entire Donnyverse clutched their pearls and collapsed onto their fainting couches.

oh my good, how dare Jon Ossoff say such a mean thing!

I’m looking straight at you, Tim Murtaugh.

Jon @ossoff subjects an innocent female staffer, a bone cancer survivor who credits President Trump’s Right to Try legislation for saving her life, to the oldest and most vulgar innuendo there is, simply because she’s at work seemingly all the time. Ossoff should apologize.

oh dear, can someone get in here and see if they can revive Tim?

what on earth is Tim Murtaugh talking about? what ‘vulgar innuendo’? all Ossoff did was to accurately describe the situation. Diaper Nurse Natalie travels with Dear Leader. not a day goes by that the two of them aren’t photographed together. to point that out is not ‘innuendo.’

who even knew that Ari Fleischer was still a thing?

I never really knew what to think about Ossoff. He seemed a backbencher who played it safe. Now I see he’s a bottom feeder. Who does this and holds their head high? Who accuses women of behaving like that because he doesn’t like their boss. This guy should be ashamed.

whoa, whoa, slow the fuck down there, Ari. show us on the doll where Ossoff accused Natalie of ‘behaving like that’.

like what?

it’s pretty weird how every Republican immediately interpreted ‘travel together’ to mean that Donny and Nattie are getting it on, isn’t it? this sounds like another one of those ‘every accusation is a confession’ things again, doesn’t it?

that’s because it is. Republicans have eyes. they can see what’s going on.

they know how bad this looks, President Pussygrabber swanning around with some blonde half his age, while his Slovenian green-card rent-a-wife is nowhere to be seen.

look, it’s not Jon Ossoff’s fault that Donny immediately falls for any woman who reminds him of the daughter he want to quote-unquote ‘date,’ if that’s what we’re charitably going to call it. this shit happens over and over. remember the Presidential Pants Steamer, Hope Hicks, who was right by his side throughout his first term?

his own handlers have been trying to minimize Natty’s contact with Dear Leader since forever. here’s what the NY Times reported almost two years ago.

This has generated concern among other aides who feel she has been far too willing to serve as a funnel for conspiratorial information at a moment when Mr. Trump appears more contemptuous than ever of attempts to manage or control him.

but Donny keeps overruling them.

Mr. Trump has dismissed concerns about Ms. Harp, whom he calls “sweetie” and treats like a daughter, according to people close to him.

and we all know how Donny treats his daughter.

but somehow, this is all Jon Ossoff’s fault — and so the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex has risen up as one to demand that Ossoff apologize.

Yes @ossoff should apologize and he should get beaten in November. He’s a ridiculous caricature of a senator and far too left wing for Georgia. And a mean-spirited jerk who traffics in slander as well.

oh, please. Jon Ossoff ‘traffics in slander’?

has Hugh Hewitt ever met the current president of the United States? has he met the president’s Director of Communications?

Jon Jackoff has to be the biggest cuck loser in politics. Instead of denigrating hard working people serving their country, Jon should look deep into his soul and ask himself why he’s a miserable person who hates this country. It’s because he’s a radical, extremist Dumocrat.

who even talks like this? I swear, everyone in the Donnyverse operates on the emotional level of a 14-year-old boy.

all this performative outrage over something Jon Ossoff never actually said is just a distraction — just more red meat for the cultists, to make them forget for a day that Donny has made their lives measurably worse in every way.

Jon Ossoff apologize? piss straight up a rope, pal. it’s Donny who should apologize, for fucking America straight into the shitter.

it’s Donny who should apologize for destroying Joe Biden’s strong economy.

it’s Donny who should apologize for enriching himself while in office.

it’s Donny who should apologize for pardoning the January 6th insurrectionists.

it’s Donny who should apologize for inflicting his stupid face and name onto money, passports and half the buildings in Washington, DC.

it’s Donny who should apologize for allowing the Space Nazi’s merry band of pimply DOG incels to fire entire agencies, to the point where government is now broken.

it’s Donny who should apologize for allowing racists to set immigration policy, crackpots to set healthcare policy, and fossil-fuel flunkies to set environmental policy.

it’s Donny who should apologize for alienating all of our allies and snuggling up to the world’s worst despots.

it’s Donny who should apologize for turning American cities into war zones, where masked government thugs are allowed to gun down anyone who looks at them funny.

it’s Donny who should apologize for blundering into an unwinnable war that’s depleted our weapons stockpile and jacked up the price of every fucking thing.

it’s Donny who should apologize for throwing a 250th birthday party that was such a rinky-dink piece of shit that even his own cultists refused to show up for it.

it’s Donny who should apologize for destroying the Oval Office, the East Wing, the South Lawn, the Rose Garden and the Reflecting Pool.

and it’s Donny who should apologize to CNN’s Kristen Holmes, the latest woman reporter to get an undeserved earful from this misogynistic prick.

“quiet. quiet. quiet. you’re very disrespectful in front of this young man. okay? don’t you find her disrespectful? quiet. who are you with?”

Holmes: “CNN.”

“fake news. you’re fake news. you’re a loud— you’re a loud, boisterous person. you’re fake news. be quiet. BE QUIET. BE QUIET. you’re a fake reporter, and you report fake news.”

shut the fuck up, Piggy.

oh, excuse us if Kristen Holmes takes her job as a reporter seriously, instead of slavishly following Dear Leader around, and braying like a hyena at everything he says, like some people we know.

do you know what Kristen Holmes had been asking Donny about, that made him lose his fucking mind? the diaper nurse, of course. she wanted to know if Donny had any comment on what Ossoff had said about thew two of them traveling together.

oh, and good for CNN. they actually stood up and defended Holmes.

Kristen Holmes is one of the most respected and accomplished journalists covering the White House. This afternoon, she did her job and asked the President of the United States a tough, relevant, and newsworthy question on behalf of the American people. Public officials are free to challenge reporting they disagree with, but personal attacks on journalists for asking questions are beneath the office and inconsistent with the principles of a free press. We stand firmly behind Kristen and reject these attacks in the strongest possible terms.

worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media, are you paying attention? this is how it’s done — though if I had been a member of the press pool in the Oval Bordello yesterday, I would have immediately won my own What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™, which is now in its 2,331st day.

honestly, I don’t give a shit what Donny and Natty get up to, as long as it’s consenting. that’s their own business.

I do give a shit what Donny and his Republican enablers are doing to our country.

oh, and while we’re at it, release the full, unedited Epstein Files, you fucking fucks.

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fuck it, let’s do some Daily Claudia and get out of here.

here’s a triptych from the Matunuck Oyster Bar in Wakefield, Rhode Island, on September 19, 2023.

have a great Tuesday, everyone. try not to operate on the emotional level of a 14-year-old boy, unless you happen to be one.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.