John Fetterman is still a fucking boss

his critics can piss up a rope

last February, I wrote a thing called John Fetterman is a fucking boss, about Fetterman’s public struggle with depression following his stroke.

first of all, John Fetterman is displaying real bravery here. it wasn’t too long ago that even rumors of being treated for depression would put a swift end to one’s political career.

and it’s not like there isn’t a legitimate need. about a third of people who’ve had a stroke suffer some sort of clinical depression.

and John Fetterman is leading by example. if only one person hears about John’s struggles and is inspired to seek help for themselves, well, how fucking great is that?

seven months have passed, and John seems to have set his troubles behind him — and just this past week, Fetterman has shown us all why he’s still a fucking boss

recently, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer relaxed the Senate dress code so that John could wear his famous hoodie in the well of the Senate.

“There has been an informal dress code that was enforced,” Schumer said in a statement. “Senators are able to choose what they wear on the Senate floor. I will continue to wear a suit.”

Schumer did not mention Fetterman in his statement about the dress code, which will only apply to senators, not staff.

no big deal, right?

wrong. the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex blew a fucking gasket. you would have thought it was the burning of Atlanta and the sacking of Rome all rolled into one — and the loudest howls came from the Republican screech-monkeys in the House of Representatives.

oh, the decorum, they cried.

yes, that skeevy bunch of handjob-doling revenge-porn-displaying shitflingers were suddenly clutching their pearls and falling on the fainting couch over decorum.

John slapped back in the best way possible. he spent the entire week trolling his critics — because Fetterman understands that Republicans are unserious bad-faith dipshits.

you can’t reason with them. it’s a waste of time to point out their hypocrisy. they don’t give a shit. the only way to respond to their antics is with mockery.

is Congresswoman Sporkbrain opening her stupid mouth? remind her that she showed Hunter Biden dick pics on live tv.

are noises coming out of Diarrhea Slider Barbie’s food hole? remind her that she polished some guy’s knob in the middle of a crowded theater.

he’s so good at this.

but John Fetterman showed us again this week that he is more than just an effective zinger factory.

Fetterman Gets Emotional Discussing His Processing Struggles at Disability Access Hearing

Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) choked up during a Thursday hearing on disability rights while discussing his auditory processing struggles, something he’s lived with since suffering a near-fatal stroke last May. While posing a question to witnesses at the hearing of the Senate Special Committee on Aging, the Pennsylvania Democrat briefly detoured to share his personal journey with disability access. In the wake of his stroke, he said, he’d “lost my ability to fully process language.” And while that experience had raised his empathy “to a whole different kind of level,” other people weren’t always so accommodating. “Because I live in a political environment, I was ridiculed and made fun of,” he recalled, growing briefly emotional. “... I’m so sorry that—I’m sure many of you had to go through this kind of thing.” Demonstrating a live transcription software on his iPhone, Fetterman said he couldn’t imagine life without the service, which he likened to “a bridge” to other people. He ended by asking the witnesses how they thought he and his colleagues could “become more empathetic, more responsive, and more effective senators.”

here’s a clip of John from that hearing.

we need more John Fettermans in the Senate. hell, we need a whole fucking government full of John Fettermans.

and since John is indeed a boss, let’s give the final word to the man himself —

carry on, John.