indictment season: Trump's impending arrest has broken every Republican brain
you hate to see it
let’s check in on the PaRtY oF LaW aNd OrDeR and see how they’re coping with the news of Donald Trump’s imminent indictment and arrest.
oh dear. oh dear.
oh dear. oh dear. oh dear.
not having a very good day, are we?
the party that spent the last six years screaming LOCK HER UP is suddenly very very very concerned about prosecutorial overreach.
the party that, after 30 Benghazi investigations turned up nothing, opened a 31st is suddenly very very very concerned about abuse of power.
and here’s soft, pampered fish stick heir Tucker Carlson asking “who among us hasn’t paid hush money?” who, indeed.
it wasn’t supposed to be like this. when Kevin McCarthy and Jim Jordan and the whole crew of loudmouth dipshits took power three months ago, they were on top of the world. oh fucking boy, were the Democrats going to pay. Republicans were going to crash the economy and stomp all over its corpse. they were going to gut Social Security. and they were going to investigate the living fuck out of all of their enemies. that smug smartypants Fauci, oh was he going to pay. Hunter Biden, oh was he going to pay.
and now it’s three months later and Sleepy Brandon outfoxed them and their legislative agenda is in tatters. their stupid half-baked investigations went nowhere. Fox News is drowning in lawsuits.
so in the end, here’s all the Republicans have left: they’re reduced to carrying water for a lifelong serial criminal who is finally facing consequences, and it doesn’t matter how much they whine and shout and carry on. they have no legislative power to stop or even investigate what’s coming.
thoughts and prayers.
here’s the thing: this is just the first indictment. the furor we’re seeing from the Wingnut Grievance Bubble is just going to repeat itself when Fani Willis indicts. and then again when Jack Smith indicts.
it’s going to be the stupidest fucking reboot of Groundhog Day ever.
finally, in least surprising news story ever, the New York Times is reporting that Donald Trump is disconnected from reality.
can you imagine? the guy who scrawled on a weather map and tried to fob it off on everybody as a legitimate hurricane track is disconnected from reality. the guy whose voices in his head sing in four-part harmony is fucking disconnected from reality.
I’m laughing so hard that I can hardly catch my breath.
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Personally, I delight in the irony of all these little MAGAts and Trumpeteers whining and crying about this. The irony, you ask? That they spent nearly 6 years calling anyone even vaguely liberal a "snowflake", and now they're melting down faster than snow at the equator.
And I'm here for that. Schadenfreude indeed.
Thanks for making me laugh first thing this morning Jeff!