indictment season: Trump's impending arrest has broken every Republican brain

you hate to see it

let’s check in on the PaRtY oF LaW aNd OrDeR and see how they’re coping with the news of Donald Trump’s imminent indictment and arrest.

Rand Paul @RandPaul

A Trump indictment would be a disgusting abuse of power. The DA should be put in jail.

oh dear.

Ted Cruz @tedcruz

Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s case against Donald Trump is utter and complete crap! It’s obviously political retribution and political persecution. #Verdict

oh dear. oh dear.

Rep Andy Biggs @RepAndyBiggsAZ

If they can come for Trump, they will come for you. This type of stuff only occurs in third world authoritarian nations.

oh dear. oh dear. oh dear.

not having a very good day, are we?

the party that spent the last six years screaming LOCK HER UP is suddenly very very very concerned about prosecutorial overreach.

the party that, after 30 Benghazi investigations turned up nothing, opened a 31st is suddenly very very very concerned about abuse of power.

and here’s soft, pampered fish stick heir Tucker Carlson asking “who among us hasn’t paid hush money?” who, indeed.

Media Matters @mmfa

Tucker Carlson: “Paying people to not talk about things, hush money, is ordinary in modern America”

mediamatters.orgTucker Carlson: “Paying people to not talk about things, hush money, is ordinary in modern America”

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it wasn’t supposed to be like this. when Kevin McCarthy and Jim Jordan and the whole crew of loudmouth dipshits took power three months ago, they were on top of the world. oh fucking boy, were the Democrats going to pay. Republicans were going to crash the economy and stomp all over its corpse. they were going to gut Social Security. and they were going to investigate the living fuck out of all of their enemies. that smug smartypants Fauci, oh was he going to pay. Hunter Biden, oh was he going to pay.

and now it’s three months later and Sleepy Brandon outfoxed them and their legislative agenda is in tatters. their stupid half-baked investigations went nowhere. Fox News is drowning in lawsuits.

so in the end, here’s all the Republicans have left: they’re reduced to carrying water for a lifelong serial criminal who is finally facing consequences, and it doesn’t matter how much they whine and shout and carry on. they have no legislative power to stop or even investigate what’s coming.

thoughts and prayers.

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here’s the thing: this is just the first indictment. the furor we’re seeing from the Wingnut Grievance Bubble is just going to repeat itself when Fani Willis indicts. and then again when Jack Smith indicts.

it’s going to be the stupidest fucking reboot of Groundhog Day ever.

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finally, in least surprising news story ever, the New York Times is reporting that Donald Trump is disconnected from reality.

The New York Times @nytimes

As Donald Trump waits for a likely criminal indictment, he has often appeared significantly disconnected from the severity of his potential legal woes, according to those who have spent time with him in recent days.

nyti.msTrump at Mar-a-Lago: Magical Thinking and a Perp-Walk FixationThose who have spent time with Donald Trump in recent days say he has often appeared significantly disconnected from the severity of his potential legal woes.

can you imagine? the guy who scrawled on a weather map and tried to fob it off on everybody as a legitimate hurricane track is disconnected from reality. the guy whose voices in his head sing in four-part harmony is fucking disconnected from reality.

I’m laughing so hard that I can hardly catch my breath.