I don’t worry too much about Ron DeSantis

Ron DeSantis is a fucking fascist, but he's also uncharismatic and unpleasant. and those are his good qualities

I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about Ron DeSantis. yes, I’ve heard the same stories you have. he’s smart, he’s ruthless, he’s got Fascist Appeal™. the MAGA morons love him. he’s beating Trump in the polls.

but I don’t worry too much because we’ve seen this movie before.

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remember Bobby Jindal?

Bobby Jindal was elected Governor of Louisiana in 2008. he was a rising star in the Republican Party. Jindal was young. he was energetic. he had the right ideas. he was a person of color. he was a fucking Rhodes Scholar. he was unstoppable.

and then Bobby gave the Republican Response to Obama’s 2009 State of the Union. and he suuuuuucked. dull. lifeless. Jindal couldn’t even work up enough energy to look like a deer in the headlights. and just like that, Bobby Jindal’s political career was over.

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remember Scott Walker?

of course you don’t. not even Scott Walker remembers Scott Walker. but back in 2011, Scott Walker was a rising young star in the Republican Party. he had just been elected Governor of Wisconsin. all we heard was how smart and electable he was. it was a foregone conclusion that Scott Walker was going to be the GOP candidate for president in 2016. Democrats were terrified of him.

and then something happened: he announced his candidacy, he made a few speeches and he was gone in less than three scaramuccis. he didn’t even last long enough to get a nickname from Donald Trump.

why? because Scott Walker was boring.

Governor Walker @GovWalker

Got hot ham & rolls after church.

bo-ring.

he got crushed in every poll, and just like that, his political career was over.

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which brings us to Fascist Flavor of the Week, Ron DeSantis

if you’re a wingnut, Ron DeSantis looks great on paper. he’s as far right as they come. he’s a culture warrior. he’s a headline-grabber. he’s not afraid to pick a fight.

but, and this is a big but: DeSantis has never been tested on the national stage and every indication is that he comes prepackaged with a shitload of negatives. he’s short. (I know, heightist, but I don’t make the rules that’s the world we live in.) he’s got a squeaky voice. he’s unfunny and unpleasant. he’s a bully. he stands like he’s wearing an ill-fitting human suit over his lizard body.

his policies are not popular (outside of MAGA world) and he lacks charisma.

and he’s not entertaining. say what you want about Donald Trump, the one thing he knows how to do is work a crowd and feed off their energy. all RonDeSantis knows how to do is stand like a doofus be repulsive. fence-sitters and independent voters are not going to won over by this guy

so my prediction is that once the general public gets a look at this guy, he’ll be the latest flash in a long lines of pans.

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now, I’m not saying the threat of fascism in America isn’t real and we shouldn’t all be on our guard. I just don’t think Ron DeSantis is that guy.

that said, I’ve made being wrong my life’s work.

Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich

me, 1980: don't worry, Reagan can't possibly win me, 2000: don't worry, Bush can't possibly win me, 2016: don't worry, Trump can't possibly win me, 2020: TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED! EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK TO THE POLLS AND VOTE

so take it from me, Ron DeSantis can’t possibly …. oops.

buckle your seatbelts, no matter what happens it’s going to be a bumpy fucking ride