455 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

if this is the kind of shit that happens when I try to take a mental health break, I SHOULD TAKE MORE OF THEM

Elizabeth Ayer's avatar

I also laughed out loud! Especially when I saw the 2-names as replacement!

Leu2500's avatar

Two names gave up a SENATE seat for a cabinet position. That's not a promotion & doesn't have job security.

arne link's avatar

Well, no one ever said that he was smart.

Charles Austin's avatar

The fucking pipes he works with are smarter than he is.😂😂

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Shhhh. don't tell him, he thinks he just got a ticket into the thousand year reich!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Is he REALLY native american? Somehow that just doesn't track. How could he be maga or 'masa' (frump's latest bullshit acronym)? Hmm - didn't slaves have to call their owners 'masa'? Is THAT where the orange spackled fuckwit got it from? THIS is getting weirder and weirder. IS it in project 25 to begin the 'switch-over' to slave days and that kind of terminology in 2026 right after fucking with the Texas primary voting? I'm curious.

serenity's avatar

I just googled. Apparently he is an enrolled citizen of the Cherokee Nation.

Mara's avatar

Enrolled? Is it voluntary?

Bob Bowden's avatar

Especially in THAT department that’s more aggressively fucked up than McGee’s tattered couch

Linda Weide's avatar

Lets make that a Blue Seat. Julie Roginsky and Michelle Keeney were discussing that the WSJ had called it right before it was official and how Trump, when he is around Mamdani has to feel like he is aware that he has the G level of people, because if he did not have to go that low, he would never have Ms. Cowboy hat from podunk. They also pointed out that she was out because she takes his spotlight and no one is allowed to do that.

https://saltypolitics.substack.com/p/trump-is-finally-firing-noem?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Lois Henry's avatar

Was he up for reelection?

Barbara Ferrara's avatar

Yes, this November

kdsherpa's avatar

Well, that's nice!

AuntTeeFa's avatar

That’s on par for his intellect level wait till the power goes to his head

Grace Kennedy's avatar

So did Rubio 🤓

Tom Twain's avatar

The second dumbest man in the Senate, next to Coach Tuber, what could go wrong here?

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Ohio Senator Jon Useless (Husted) is in the running for that and so is the odious Marsha Blackburn. Interestingly none of the competitors are Democrats; even John Fetterman is less stupid than just confused.

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

I call him Jonnie HUSTLED.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

To borrow a line from Robin Williams, Ron Johnson is a taco short of a combination plate.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Oh god, how could I have forgotten Ron Johnson? There is a stupid, stupid man!

steve robertshaw's avatar

Dammit, you may be right, but why does everyone forget about Ron Johnson in the dumbest politician sweepstakes?

SethTriggs's avatar

He had it locked up till Senator Potato Town came onto the scene.

Donna M Hebdo's avatar

Please don't forget the Jacketless Jackass and Gym Spy, Jordan!

T L Mills's avatar

He's a Representative--different competition; a much harder one because there are so many stupid, stupid Repubbies in the House.

Charles Austin's avatar

I'm of the same mind as you, Jeff.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

John Nerdrum's avatar

They would have made a great tag team! Could have called them "Dumb and Dumber".

celeste k.'s avatar

Want to laugh again? I thought for a minute or two that maybe the Senate learned their lesson and won't confirm him!

Kevin Rice's avatar

Part of me is hoping two names McDumbfuck will show up with giant hair extensions wearing some of Couchfuck's eyeliner.

GeorgeC's avatar

The dufus really needs to just own the name and start sporting a mullet . . .

Maria 🇮🇪's avatar

Kevin I actually call him that!

Markwayne mullet! What Could Possibly go Wrong? He’s as dumb as a rock!

Richard's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jan Moon's avatar

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA

HA HA HA

HA HA

HA

I don't know how to do emojis on Substack.

Bob Bowden's avatar

And a lip job that gives him a resting pursed look with a tiny hole sized for squeezing a thin pencil

DJ Headthrob's avatar

And maybe Cricket's Rolex.

Em Risert's avatar

😂🤣😂🤣😂

Sue Munda's avatar

NOW we know why we kept seeing that moron on all the ‘shows’ lately.🙄

Em Risert's avatar

He was definitely auditioning.

Maui Wahine's avatar

EXACTLY!!!! Now we know the "tell".

Caroline (PDX)'s avatar

That was my first reaction.

Tess's avatar

Yes you should!!!! ❤️❤️

There’s a LOT more to go!!!!!!

barb's avatar

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto, Ditto!!!

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Hope this brightened your sad day a little.

Ransom Rideout's avatar

Turn your computer to sleep mode. Turn off you phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take the break before you break. Then again, a serious laugh his good therapy too!!!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Good advice but our Jeff DOES need some of the input he gets from us here too - in that you're right about the laughs. They can be SO healing. Even when I'm feeling my worst, IF I can find something humorous (such as his streams of ha ha ha's above) I'm immediately cheered up and feeling SO much better.

Maui Wahine's avatar

Kash Patel, Pam Bondi....you need at least 2 more.

John Rumble's avatar

Unfortunately the bottom of the barrel has provided it's worst . Where would they go from here

barb's avatar

Oh they always find a way to go lower, even when they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel. There is no low that’s low enough for them.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Patel got there by sucking up, he'll be the last to go. Seriously he hung around the oval office until trump came out, flattered him ridiculously and posed as the Ukrainian expert when he was Devin Nunes aide. The actual expert Vindmann was in Ukraine meeting with Zelenskyy. No one dared tell stupid Hitler that Patel was lying.

https://www.politico.com/news/2019/10/30/nunes-acolyte-misrepresented-himself-to-trump-as-ukraine-expert-061763

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

BOTH Vindman brothers need our help for the mid-terms. Eugene and Alex. TRUE patriots in OUR use/sense/understanding of the word.

Major Kong's avatar

I donate to both of their campaigns.

Hannah's avatar

Forgot all about that.

Mary Lou Williams's avatar

Why not include Todd Blanche?

VB's avatar

Yes, please take another tomorrow! 😂

Your HAHAHAHAHA’s made me lose my coffee just now.

Lynne Murphy's avatar

A little something to cheer you up for a moment. 💙

Mary Lou Williams's avatar

But she’s not really gone so why the over the top celebrating? And the policies implemented will continue to the horror of most American people. McMullen is a lackey for Trump right?

Jane S.'s avatar

Yes, the only lesson here is that you can get away with ANYTHING except bringing Trump's name into a negative light in public. It was the quarter of a billion dollars of ads that she said were discussed with Trump that got her fired. Bondi will never be fired -- not with her slam book and her "HOW DARE YOUs" and her "Trump is the greatest president this country has ever seen" -- she could shoot a puppy on live tv and Trump wouldn't fire her.

Look at Patel -- he is bringing scandal into the halls of the FBI with that girlfriend and his Olympic bullshit. But he will never say a word against Trump and that's all that matters to him.

zuzu's avatar

He will need to be approved by the Senate. I don't expect they'll be too hard on him, but the Democrats do get to question him on his qualifications.

Joyce's avatar

Of course he's a lackey for Donnie Demento. MarkyNoBrain is another certified moronic incompetent who will happily abuse the shit out of immigrants and protesters.

But, for a brief, shining moment: Kristi NoEmpathy got the boot! I hope her dry cleaner can get the ketchup stains out of her blouse.

harkaylun's avatar

Actually, a lackey for Miller.

Leu2500's avatar

I think you should schedule the Ides of March for a mental health break.

Old Enough To Know Better's avatar

I've been daydreaming about an Ides of March redux...

Sue Martin's avatar

This Ides of March is my 75th birthday. Can you guess what my birthday wish will be this year??

John Rumble's avatar

I can't wait for the confirmation when they throw back the bon mots of wisdom he has shared over the years

Mary Lou Williams's avatar

It will be entertaining but have no consequence to Republicans who rubber stamp all Trump’s buddies.

Richard's avatar

Yes, please! Just joking!

Bee's avatar

I had a feeling you would be making another post today to address this dumbfuckery. Glad to know I was right! ❤️

Jstn Green's avatar

Not on my Bingo card, for sure. Take all the breaks you need. I'm not going anywhere (though I wish you'd open all your comments up for free subscribers, too)

Jane's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

fun fact: the only other time I've ever done two posts in one day is when Donny was found guilty

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Well I guess this turned out to be a mental health day for all of us.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Btw, your email came in before any news alerts. And this is why you’re my most trusted news source!

Merrill's avatar

Have pity on the "Worst of the Worst" illegal rapists and murders locked in El Salvador cages. What are they going to do for entertainment if they don't have Kristi's enhanced hair, lips or boobs to gawk at??

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

At least now they’ll have to pull those TV ads with Noem talking about what’s happening “under Trump’s strong leadership.”

Charla's avatar

What she just said - ☝️☝️☝️👏🏼.

Suki Herr's avatar

Take care.

I wish I thought Markwayne would take this job seriously. He’s an attention hog, but at least no extensions&not F**king Lewandowski

CroneEver's avatar

We hope he's not f***ing Lewandowski. On the other hand, if he is, then that will make for one of the finest hog-screaming contests that ever was heard...

arne link's avatar

I'm pretty sure that Lewandowski will do whatever is necessary to be near the seat of power.

Maui Wahine's avatar

"Seat of power" good one!

Suki Herr's avatar

I guess I shouldn’t have assumed.

Gently, Jack Jones's avatar

There’s “ass” double entendres in there somewhere! 🤣

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

"[Mullin] is the only currently serving senator without at least a bachelor's degree."

Lynne Murphy's avatar

And no blown up lips.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Who gets custody of Lewandowski? Does she get to keep him or does he go with the office?

Suki Herr's avatar

I think Lewandowski will try to make the case. He will throw Noem under the buss. Making the case it’s the woman’s fault works in Trump world.

Barbara Ferrara's avatar

I heard he was fired too

Grace Kennedy's avatar

Maybe he’ll buy planes with engines.

Claudia Classon's avatar

As far as we know.

arne link's avatar

Maybe you will do two when he goes to his eternal rest. We will all be here for it.

Sheila Riley-Callahan's avatar

Could be a sign of more to come. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Maribeth Ackerman's avatar

Oh look, he found someone dumber than Noem to replace Noem.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Noem, isn't particularly dumb, she's a sociopath. Two names is just stupid like Eric Trump. He also has short man's syndrome which Bovino suffers from. Plenty of material for Jeff.

Maribeth Ackerman's avatar

Perhaps a dumb sociopath? Sociopaths usually have the skill to hide their mental flaws. Noem couldn't even manage that.

Leu2500's avatar

yes. sociopaths are usually smart. the felon is unusual in that he's a dumb one

Bikracer's avatar

I think his narcissism gets ahead of his sociopathy and yes he is a brick shy a load.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

He is the Senate's least educated member from a state that has one of the worst education systems in the country. "[Mullin] is the only currently serving senator without at least a bachelor's degree."

CKaye 🌞's avatar

Yep. Meathead Mullet.

DlbDC's avatar

I just said that to my husband who wholeheartedly agrees with us!

Elaine the Mean Old Feminist's avatar

Just, I sincerely needed a laugh this afternoon. I'm having to have the oldest of my three cats put to sleep later today. I thank you for the first genuine smile of the day.

Kaye Stone's avatar

I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose a furry-love. 💔

Sue Munda's avatar

I’m so sorry. I have an sweet, old, adorable guy I’m ‘keeping comfortable’. It’s the kindest, hardest thing.💖

DlbDC's avatar

Oh big hugs, my friend.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I’m so very sorry. 💔

Kay-El's avatar

Condolences. Losing furry family is tough.

Jenny Lee's avatar

I'm so very sorry. Our thoughts are with you and all 3 of your kitties.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Be happy that you were able to give your kitty a great life 😺

cablecargal's avatar

Yes, that's a wonderful thought we can hold on to. Our kitties never wanted for anything.

Helen Stajninger's avatar

Oh Elaine, I am very sorry❤️

Kim Steeves's avatar

So sorry, my heart breaks for you. Sorry to hear of your fur baby!

arne link's avatar

So sorry. I know how hard that is to do. I never had another cat after I had to put my beloved Muntz to sleep. Just couldn't do it.

Jane S.'s avatar

I'm so sorry. Even us mean old feminists have a soft spot for our feline companions. Take good care of yourself, Elaine.

Lynne Murphy's avatar

So sorry I feel your pain.💔

Cheri Collins's avatar

I’m sorry for your loss, Elaine. 😢

Linda Wilson-Gordon's avatar

So sorry! It's so hard to lose one of our fur babies. 💔

Jodi Richard's avatar

Oh Elaine, I’m so sorry.

Chris Fox's avatar

My deepest sympathy

Shoshanna's avatar

Translation: Whenever Trump uses the words "highly respected," it means "universally thought of as a total imbecile."

Linda Wilson-Gordon's avatar

Well, he did state that he likes stupid people.

Rhesus's avatar

Wonder how much of our money Trump's going to "transfer" into his new Shield of the Americas.

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

I just saw a comment on a local news website that said trump just put her in charge of the ENTIRE western hemisphere!!😆 Speculation as to what it actually entails is waaay out there.

Kathy H's avatar

Hahaha, yup! Your word garbage to English translator works perfectly, Shoshanna!

Betsy's avatar

If someone made a movie about those two it would be called Dumb and Dumber. Markwayne Mullin is absolutely a "fucking moron" to use the words Rex Tillerson did when describing Trump.

Donna Herrmann's avatar

I called them Dumb and Dumber also!😂

DonP's avatar

Well, Prez Fuckwit replaced a half-wit with a quarter-wit. Soon, he'll replace the quarter-wit with a witless waste of space. I wonder how many more clowns he can fit in the car?

AzcrazyArt's avatar

maybe Marco could be the witless replacement..I'm sure he has the bandwidth

arne link's avatar

Wait, wait, wait! Are you saying that Liddle Marco is going into the witless protection program?

AzcrazyArt's avatar

like Jeff says…hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha+

Mary Greenwald's avatar

That means we will get a new Secretary of HHS!

Teri Springer's avatar

Eventually the Mango Mussolini has GOT to run out of idiots to appoint....right??

Robert Eckert's avatar

Like suckers, there's an idiot born every minute (at minimum: the birth rate of suckers seems to have accelerated considerably since Barnum's day)

AzcrazyArt's avatar

doesn’t seem like it.

Mary Hall's avatar

That reminds me of the Emmylou Harris album "Quarter Moon in a Ten Cent Town."

Susan K.'s avatar

thanks for reminding me of that beautiful album

Donna Herrmann's avatar

Maybe two names will be replaced by Tommy Tuberville. He is certainly witless!

Jane's avatar

😂😂😂

Mike Hammer's avatar

Just keep her away from dogs but throw her in a kennel. See how she likes the cage.

Chicky Mama's avatar

I second this!!

Chris Ortolano's avatar

No, no, no He didn't fire her - that would mean he made a mistake. No, she's now the special envoy of killing puppies and fucking random fascists - or something like that.

Sydney Blankenship's avatar

Wait. MarkyWayney is Native American?

What a fucking sellout to his own people. 🤮

Steve in SoCal's avatar

1/128 (or 0.78%) Cherokee

Robert Eckert's avatar

I'm 1/1024 Lenni Lenape, matching Elizabeth Warren's fraction of Cherokee. A trace of Native is more common in people whose families have been here for generations than people tend to suspect.

Teri Springer's avatar

So, not enough to make the rolls.

Hilary Discotto's avatar

I hope she cried. 🤣

Kelly's avatar

She will be crying when the trials start to lock her and her chicken legs up!

JerryBier's avatar

I DOUBT SHE DID. ANYONE WHO IS SO CRUEL THAT KILLING THINGS HAS NO EFFECT ON HER IS NOT A CANDIDATE FOR EMPATHIC PERSON OF THE YEAR.

Oops. Sorry. I wasn't really yelling at you. Damn caps lock, can't live with it, can't function without it.

Lisa Hansen's avatar

The hilarious ladies of the “I’ve Had It” podcast call half wit Mullin “Booster box”. He’s dumber than a box of rocks who thinks the president is Kegseth.

Carol Jacobson's avatar

Replacing her with another unqualified dumbfuck idiot. There is still not a single qualified person in this regime.

AzcrazyArt's avatar

can you take a break and see if he gets rid of Kash, Ludnick and Bessent?

Reader/Writer's avatar

Nutlick… easier to remember

David Simpson's avatar

Now she can bang Corey Lewandowski whenever and wherever she wants. It just won’t be at 30,000 feet! 😂

David Simpson's avatar

… if he’ll still have her…

Joyce's avatar

Nah--no more jets, no more grifts.......He might have to move in on Pamnesia Blondi. Or BoxWine Pirro. Or JustADick Couchfuck.

arne link's avatar

Corey likes to be near the seat of power. Maybe he will start bangin' Laura Looney. Wouldn't that be fun.

BigDaddy52's avatar

And not on our dime....

Cindi Lynch's avatar

ACCOUNTABILITY, NOW!!!