I probably need to explain that "I'd love to but I can't — my arm is broken. look, look how dangly it is" is a private joke between me and Ms. Spouse. it's a thing we say to each other when one of us asks the other for helping doing something.
That’s the kind of inside joke that outlives every argument, every grocery list, every "who left the light on." The secret language of love isn’t poetry, it’s shared absurdity.
Constitution, Article 1, Section 5 includes "Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting."
Do not let Senators shrug and say the House of its pathetic Speaker are solely at fault here. They could demand the House have a pro forma meeting every three days. Once that meeting convenes, Immediately call for a vote of no confidence in the Speaker if he does not swear in Adelita Grijalva. And, for good measure, even if he does swear her in, call for a vote of no confidence. Every three days. Even MTG might vote with us on this one.
Call your Senators and ask them what they're doing to get the Senate to vote on this.
Mine are Rick Scott and an unelected, Rubio replacement. I call their Washington offices to annoy them. Usually receive a rambling response long after the phone call. Taxation without representation!
Having read Chapter 8 of Katherine Stewart's book "Money, Lies and God" I am will say that Mike Johnson appears in this chapter which is called, The Rise of the Spirit Warriors
In it she talks about Christian Nationalist Lance Wallnau an American preacher and televangelist based out of Dallas, saying that Trump is anointed by God, and is meant to be an “Isaiah 45 Cyrus”
She goes on to tell us that Wallnau, who considers himself a Spirit Warrior, peddles a rotation of conspiracy theories, such as environmentalists are led by demons. In the Spirit Warrior world, the left and democrats are interchanged with the Devil. She goes on to tell us that Mike Johnson as spirit warrior who seems to believe that the world can only be saved if it goes back to 18th century values.
To further explain these Spirit Warriors, she goes on to tell us about the origins of Pentecostalism in California in the US in the beginning of the 1900s, and at that time the church was integrated, which helped to make it outcast, as well as that there was a lot of singing and music and joy. It has evolved into something different now. A key attraction is that the focus is not on afterlife blessings, but material well being in the here and now. Many forms of Pentecostalism blends in well with America's prosperity gospel, a belief among some Christians that God rewards those who live faithful lives with material wealth.
She tells us that Pentecostalism was exported, and there is a shift in Latin America as well as among US Latino/as to Protestant religions and Pentecostalism.
Pentecostalism claims as much as 600 mil adherents worldwide or more than ¼ of all Christians, and has a huge presence in Brazil, Hungary, Guatemala, where it has brought illiberal leaders to power. She says it was exported from the US to counter the liberalism of the Second Vatican Council. It is currently surging among migrant workers in the Gulf States and in Nigeria.
Pentecostalism is also known as being a Charismatic Christian, and a newer branch is the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR). The NAR behaves more like a political party than a church she tells us, because they need people to have leadership in the Seven Mountain Mandate –This holds that there are seven aspects of society that believers need to seek to dominate: family, religion, education, media, arts and entertainment, business, and government.
NAR is part of global right wing politics and infused in all levels of US politics as well.
Mike Johnson is such a person and she tells us that NAR kind itself kind of hidden, but will be identified as “Five Fold Ministry.” They don't advertise themselves because they got a lot of criticism in the past. This not knowing about NAR is how people in NAR will respond. So, Mike Johnson has been trained all his life as a member of this faith group to not respond to knowing things that he knows he is a part of, or about them existing. It is a secretive ministry.
Stewart also talks about her experience in her community which led her to write her first book about "The Good News Clubs" which are right wing churches are putting in schools in order to indoctrinate children ages 4-14 in their world view, which she learned about because her children’s school had one even though no one in the school has any members in the church that was sponsoring it.
A really sickening thing that she talks about is the Word of Faith Fellowship, a sect of NAR in North Carolina with branches in Ghana, Brazil and all over. They practice something called "DEMON BLASTING" where they would form a circle around people, including children and babies and scream at them for hours, and this could turn into physical beatings with them getting broken bones, and into sexual abuse.
NAR are very opposed to people being "Homosexual" or "Trans", as they see this as an agenda of Satan's, and these terms get them riled up and ready to fight.
She tells us that the world view of these NAR groups which are increasingly found among Latino/a/xs and White Nationalists and White Power militias, is that they believe in battle. I think this is what we saw in evidence on January 6, and these people would believe they were doing the Lord's Work.
She says that it is ironic that Pentecostalism appeals largely to people who are poor and uneducated. A small percentage make $100,000 or over, and a small percentage have college education. The irony is that the religion of the here and now materialism is embraced by those for whom that works the least. I am wondering whether the fact that Trump promised material wealth for his followers is upsetting as they see it not happening.
Stewart is saying that for Charismatic Christians there devotion to Trump is not about Trump, and they could have picked any leader, even a worse one. It is about what they are desiring that they believe will come to them because they are lacking it. She says we need to address that these people are lacking so much. The implication is that it is making them patsies for these "spirit warriors" who are promising them that if God thinks they are deserving they will get wealth, and meanwhile fleecing them for everything they can.
I looked at the incomes of the top 100 televangelists, and each list is different, but on one a Televangelist in Ghana was worth over 1 billion dollars. Could not find such a list now. Here is a list of top 20.
This is a list that does not claim to have the wealthiest because they don't know all of their incomes, but these charlatans are raking it in. Look at these YMCA people and one is for adoption charities.
Remember Mike Johnson is a "spirit warrior" so he believes that the Seven Mountain Mandate put him into a role to fulfill religious not political goals, and that he is going to be financially rewarded. He is living with a televangelist in DC. Many have made claims that they are living together and are sexually involved. Would not surprise me.
All the more reason to call on the increasingly fractured House to demand a vote of no confidence in the Speaker. Currently it takes only one House member to make the motion for that vote.
It takes one member of the majority party to make the motion (actually it's a "motion to vacate") and 8 cosponsors (they passed the new rule - think last January - to avoid MTG getting rid of any more Speakers). (The current problem with Johnson avoiding having the House in session so he doesn't have to swear in Adelita could be solved by the Senate, as they could force the House to hold a pro forma meeting every 3 days - Article 1 Section 5. That would take some GOP Senators deciding they value their reelection more than holding out to avoid the Epstein release.)
Article 1 Section 5 to me sounds like it isn't required for the Senate to tell the House not to recess, rather it was illegal for the House to recess without getting the required permission of the Senate.
However, it gives the poor hope. That is what people want. That is what Trump gave them. Already used to fabrications why would they not fall for his, especially since the pastors have been telling them that Trump is anointed by God to be President.
I've been married 45 years to the same man myself. And, and, the relationship goes back a previous 14 years. Maybe my husband could learn your response instead of saying "yes" and then never doing what I ask. On another note, we have belonged to Kaiser Northern California (me since 1965) and him off and on since 1960 or so, and 1980 continuously and they have never denied us anything except releasing us from the hospital when we (my husband) wanted to go home (they have a thing about you not being able to breathe on your own) or letting him walk between buildings ("no, no, you must go in an ambulance"). Of course, now, he's trailing an oxygen tank so I can't use a dangly arm excuse.
I have a hip replacement (and a few plates along with that), that I can claim that excuse with, (got them when I was very young, catastrophic injury), but my spouse laughs it off, does whatever it is, and then I usually get a smooch after.
OMG! Jeff! I had a nerve block for a recent surgery and my lower arm was dangling and floppy! I would literally hit myself in the head with it! Hahahahahahahahaha
I just tell my husband of 16 years, "I'll do it when I'm goddamned good and ready." He seems to take that rather seriously, to my credit, and returns the sentiment when I ask him to replace our seriously outdated ceiling fans. Fair enough.
I nearly got crushed by a heavy ceiling fan. I recommend finding a young body builder to take on that type of job, rather than inflict it on your precious spouse.
During our marriage of 55 years, my saying, "Are your arms painted on?" has become a daily occurrence when asking for help doing something. The joys, you got that right.
That’s like the old ad where a Tyrannosaurus Rex offers to pick up the dinner tab for a group of friends. But of course he can’t reach it with those tiny arms…
here's a thing I learned some time ago: if you ever think of something really clever that you imagine you invented, don't google it, because you'll only be disappointed to learn someone else thought of it first.
which is why it took me three days to work up the courage to google "the Great Fatsby" — and I learned it was the title of a Leslie West album release in 1975.
ok, I just googled that, and it's from your December 1982 issue. (and if I were to have had it implanted in my brain decades ago, it's more likely I saw it in the Lampoon than on an album cover)
I was a regular reader of Lampoon back in the day. (I turned my high school classmates onto the Yearbook issue, much to the consternation of many of the faculty.😂)
That was a line we juveniles used on each other in HS (late 60,s) and I had a T-shirt emblazoned with "You Don't Know Jack Shit" that I wore to our 10th reunion. I wish I still had it, although it wouldn't fit now.
MAGA Mike claims to be a professor of constitutional law. The university where he says he's law school dean DOES NOT EXIST. If you want to see something deeply weird, there's a YouTube clip of Mike and his daughter at a "Purity" ball, where she dresses like a bride and pledges before Jeebus and Daddy not to have sex before marriage. Things are awful but on a more positive note, Dick Cheney is dead.
Maybe Jake Tapper needs to write a book about Mike's cognitive decline. Oh that's right, he won't because...I have no idea. He wants to stay out of the gulag, I guess.
Nothing says symbolic incest like a good ol' fashioned Purity Ball. Maybe Mike should have just married off his daughter to some geriatric jamoke at the age of 12, like they did in the Bible.
Though I formerly hated Dick Cheney with every ounce of my being, I forgave him in the fall of 2024, when he announced that he was voting for Kamala Harris!
That's how piss poor Donald Trump is. That even The Prince of Darkness, as we used to refer to Cheney in our house, couldn't vote for him.
Personally I think Mike Johnson has a serial chicken choker issue. As a young man I was told by my priest that it could make you forgetful and possibly blind and so much seed spilled on the path to heaven could make it very slippery and you could fall off the path and never find true bliss. He needs to stop soon but I fear it's too late.
Yes, I wrote a response to that on Dean Blundell. I learned it on the Bulwark, where it was revealed that they are still republicans (especially Bill Kristol). So glad I never subscribed. I'll never read it again.
Amazing how nobody knows nothing about anything: Holy Moses Johnson, Agent Orange, MarkyWayne Mullet, the list is endless. I don’t know how government can function with a group of know-nothings…. Oh SNAP! It doesn’t. Fuckwits. 🙄
Wow--how extraordinarily privileged we all are to actually know about all the shit that Amnesia Mike never heard about....do they let him out of the dungeon only when he needs to go on camera and look stupid?
I understood every word, Jeff, and enjoyed every bit of your post, as I always do. If it wasn't for you, I'm pretty sure I would have wandered off into the woods to never be seen again. I knew twatwaffle was going to be a cluster-fuck when he "won" the election, but my imagination simply didn't go far enough. It's constant bullshit hour after hour, day after day. And, I'm sick to death of it, AND sick to death of twatwaffle himself. Anyway, thank you, Jeff for a little sanity in an insane world 🤪🤬👏👏✌️✌️
other than a traumatic brain injury, for Holy Mike’s lack of awareness. Now that he’s on a three month paid vacation, he has plenty of time to stare at his phone to make sure his son isn’t.beating his meat.
MY GAWD! I never thought I could miss Kevin McCarthy so much!
I take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one infuriated by Adam's request for presidential intervention in his medical treatment. And even more infuriated by the fact that the request will be granted. 😡
Saved? Not likely. At most, a few more months of a miserable life with terminal cancer... which is all that most of these "treatments" are shown to provide for the small portion of patients who have a positive response, and that's only if a person can survive the side effects. The general public isn't very aware of the difference between treatments and cures, so all we're really paying for is hope.
True. The "active ingredient" in Pluvicto is an isotope of Luthinium, which is radioactive.
Alas, if the pharma industry were required to demonstrate effectiveness at the 3 sigma level versus 2 sigma, a lot of these marginal drugs wouldn't be around. Even Dilbert would have known that.
I'm not educated in the sigma differences, Stephen. I only know through my personal studies and observations that the cancer community considers even the shortest prolongation of life to be a huge victory... which is why such drugs and immunotherapies are approved for use. (Maybe we're basically saying the same thing here, and you're just more knowledgeable/educated about the approval process.)
You ever notice how the people shouting “I’m guided by God” are also the ones who can’t find a single fact with both hands and a flashlight?
Every press conference is the same. He stares blankly like he’s buffering, forgets every headline since Tuesday, then blames the deep state for his amnesia.
At this point, the Sermon on the Mount has been replaced by the Sermon on the Couch Cushion, where you just lose your brain somewhere under the remote.
Murc's Law allows this empty suit with a porno pinger the power to flaunt the power of the unreconstructed over us.
This essentially amounts to a decapitation strike on America, and we're ruled by a viceroy of a foreign power. There's effectively no Congress now, and the Taney Court 2.0 is captive to the pricktator.
We have to dig deep. The only way to even have a semblance of hope of making Congress relevant is a Democratic impeachment+removal-sized majority. People have to be single-minded on the mission for 2026. Jump your voter suppression hoops now so you are ready!
Today, American Citizens in Virginia, New Jersey and California will send a VERY LOUD “FUCK YOU” to lying scumbag, America’s PieceOfShit and Disgrace, Donald Criminal Trump!
- DEM Spanberger wins the Governor’s office in Virginia!
- DEM Sherrill wins the Governor’s office in New Jersey!
- DEM Governor Newsom’s Proposition 50 wins voter approval!
St Peter will take out the Gospel and quote: “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
The residual Catholic in me remembers these words well, TRIES to live by them, and gets very unChristianlike angry when people like Johnson don't.
I'm thinking St Peter won't need to take out the Gospel. When Johnson asks "why can't I come in", St Peter will say "I don't know. This is the first I am hearing of it...it's out of my hands...I've really been so busy and not getting much sleep.... maybe you should ask him...." as he motions Satan over to take Mike's arm and lead him to those other gates.
For what it is worth, I think Satan will have no problem putting Johnson in his place. Satan actually led a revolt. Mikey has all the leadership skills of a lemming.
I probably need to explain that "I'd love to but I can't — my arm is broken. look, look how dangly it is" is a private joke between me and Ms. Spouse. it's a thing we say to each other when one of us asks the other for helping doing something.
oh the joys of a 45-year-long relationship
That’s the kind of inside joke that outlives every argument, every grocery list, every "who left the light on." The secret language of love isn’t poetry, it’s shared absurdity.
That is the joke to make about the Senate.
Constitution, Article 1, Section 5 includes "Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting."
Do not let Senators shrug and say the House of its pathetic Speaker are solely at fault here. They could demand the House have a pro forma meeting every three days. Once that meeting convenes, Immediately call for a vote of no confidence in the Speaker if he does not swear in Adelita Grijalva. And, for good measure, even if he does swear her in, call for a vote of no confidence. Every three days. Even MTG might vote with us on this one.
Call your Senators and ask them what they're doing to get the Senate to vote on this.
My only comment is...my Senator is Ron Johnson. 'Nuf said.
Mine are Rick Scott and an unelected, Rubio replacement. I call their Washington offices to annoy them. Usually receive a rambling response long after the phone call. Taxation without representation!
Having read Chapter 8 of Katherine Stewart's book "Money, Lies and God" I am will say that Mike Johnson appears in this chapter which is called, The Rise of the Spirit Warriors
In it she talks about Christian Nationalist Lance Wallnau an American preacher and televangelist based out of Dallas, saying that Trump is anointed by God, and is meant to be an “Isaiah 45 Cyrus”
She goes on to tell us that Wallnau, who considers himself a Spirit Warrior, peddles a rotation of conspiracy theories, such as environmentalists are led by demons. In the Spirit Warrior world, the left and democrats are interchanged with the Devil. She goes on to tell us that Mike Johnson as spirit warrior who seems to believe that the world can only be saved if it goes back to 18th century values.
To further explain these Spirit Warriors, she goes on to tell us about the origins of Pentecostalism in California in the US in the beginning of the 1900s, and at that time the church was integrated, which helped to make it outcast, as well as that there was a lot of singing and music and joy. It has evolved into something different now. A key attraction is that the focus is not on afterlife blessings, but material well being in the here and now. Many forms of Pentecostalism blends in well with America's prosperity gospel, a belief among some Christians that God rewards those who live faithful lives with material wealth.
She tells us that Pentecostalism was exported, and there is a shift in Latin America as well as among US Latino/as to Protestant religions and Pentecostalism.
Pentecostalism claims as much as 600 mil adherents worldwide or more than ¼ of all Christians, and has a huge presence in Brazil, Hungary, Guatemala, where it has brought illiberal leaders to power. She says it was exported from the US to counter the liberalism of the Second Vatican Council. It is currently surging among migrant workers in the Gulf States and in Nigeria.
Pentecostalism is also known as being a Charismatic Christian, and a newer branch is the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR). The NAR behaves more like a political party than a church she tells us, because they need people to have leadership in the Seven Mountain Mandate –This holds that there are seven aspects of society that believers need to seek to dominate: family, religion, education, media, arts and entertainment, business, and government.
NAR is part of global right wing politics and infused in all levels of US politics as well.
Mike Johnson is such a person and she tells us that NAR kind itself kind of hidden, but will be identified as “Five Fold Ministry.” They don't advertise themselves because they got a lot of criticism in the past. This not knowing about NAR is how people in NAR will respond. So, Mike Johnson has been trained all his life as a member of this faith group to not respond to knowing things that he knows he is a part of, or about them existing. It is a secretive ministry.
Stewart also talks about her experience in her community which led her to write her first book about "The Good News Clubs" which are right wing churches are putting in schools in order to indoctrinate children ages 4-14 in their world view, which she learned about because her children’s school had one even though no one in the school has any members in the church that was sponsoring it.
A really sickening thing that she talks about is the Word of Faith Fellowship, a sect of NAR in North Carolina with branches in Ghana, Brazil and all over. They practice something called "DEMON BLASTING" where they would form a circle around people, including children and babies and scream at them for hours, and this could turn into physical beatings with them getting broken bones, and into sexual abuse.
NAR are very opposed to people being "Homosexual" or "Trans", as they see this as an agenda of Satan's, and these terms get them riled up and ready to fight.
She tells us that the world view of these NAR groups which are increasingly found among Latino/a/xs and White Nationalists and White Power militias, is that they believe in battle. I think this is what we saw in evidence on January 6, and these people would believe they were doing the Lord's Work.
She says that it is ironic that Pentecostalism appeals largely to people who are poor and uneducated. A small percentage make $100,000 or over, and a small percentage have college education. The irony is that the religion of the here and now materialism is embraced by those for whom that works the least. I am wondering whether the fact that Trump promised material wealth for his followers is upsetting as they see it not happening.
Stewart is saying that for Charismatic Christians there devotion to Trump is not about Trump, and they could have picked any leader, even a worse one. It is about what they are desiring that they believe will come to them because they are lacking it. She says we need to address that these people are lacking so much. The implication is that it is making them patsies for these "spirit warriors" who are promising them that if God thinks they are deserving they will get wealth, and meanwhile fleecing them for everything they can.
I looked at the incomes of the top 100 televangelists, and each list is different, but on one a Televangelist in Ghana was worth over 1 billion dollars. Could not find such a list now. Here is a list of top 20.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/the-top-20-highest-earning-pastors-and-televangelists-and-what-they-bring-home/ss-AA1GL3go
This is a list that does not claim to have the wealthiest because they don't know all of their incomes, but these charlatans are raking it in. Look at these YMCA people and one is for adoption charities.
https://ministrywatch.com/100-highly-paid-ministry-leaders-2025/
Remember Mike Johnson is a "spirit warrior" so he believes that the Seven Mountain Mandate put him into a role to fulfill religious not political goals, and that he is going to be financially rewarded. He is living with a televangelist in DC. Many have made claims that they are living together and are sexually involved. Would not surprise me.
https://www.propublica.org/article/mike-johnson-evangelical-pastor-steve-berger-roommates
So, know that as a "spirit warrior" Mike Johnson lying is him doing the Lords work.
All the more reason to call on the increasingly fractured House to demand a vote of no confidence in the Speaker. Currently it takes only one House member to make the motion for that vote.
It has to be one member *who voted for him*
It takes one member of the majority party to make the motion (actually it's a "motion to vacate") and 8 cosponsors (they passed the new rule - think last January - to avoid MTG getting rid of any more Speakers). (The current problem with Johnson avoiding having the House in session so he doesn't have to swear in Adelita could be solved by the Senate, as they could force the House to hold a pro forma meeting every 3 days - Article 1 Section 5. That would take some GOP Senators deciding they value their reelection more than holding out to avoid the Epstein release.)
Article 1 Section 5 to me sounds like it isn't required for the Senate to tell the House not to recess, rather it was illegal for the House to recess without getting the required permission of the Senate.
Fascinating and not surprising the naive and usually poor fall for such extreme fabrications. Gives them someone to blame.
However, it gives the poor hope. That is what people want. That is what Trump gave them. Already used to fabrications why would they not fall for his, especially since the pastors have been telling them that Trump is anointed by God to be President.
Fascinating and horrifying
Nothing, of course
I've been married 45 years to the same man myself. And, and, the relationship goes back a previous 14 years. Maybe my husband could learn your response instead of saying "yes" and then never doing what I ask. On another note, we have belonged to Kaiser Northern California (me since 1965) and him off and on since 1960 or so, and 1980 continuously and they have never denied us anything except releasing us from the hospital when we (my husband) wanted to go home (they have a thing about you not being able to breathe on your own) or letting him walk between buildings ("no, no, you must go in an ambulance"). Of course, now, he's trailing an oxygen tank so I can't use a dangly arm excuse.
Love that!!
That line made me lol 😂. Long relationship are joyous!
I was fortunate to be married for 52. A long and good marriage is a real blessing.
And a real rarity.
Not among my family and friends!
I never married. It always looked like a trap to me. My parents stayed
together, though I begged her to divorce him.
Same, here, Arne. A blessing it was.
Lol.
I have a hip replacement (and a few plates along with that), that I can claim that excuse with, (got them when I was very young, catastrophic injury), but my spouse laughs it off, does whatever it is, and then I usually get a smooch after.
Well! Where did you find him (her)? I found mine in Robbie's on Telegraph Avenue in 1966. You probably don't remember it.
I met mine on Piedmont Avenue also in ‘66. 👍😁
OMG! Jeff! I had a nerve block for a recent surgery and my lower arm was dangling and floppy! I would literally hit myself in the head with it! Hahahahahahahahaha
Dangling and floppy are forbidden words in my house 😂
😂😂
😂👏🏻😂👏🏻😂👏🏻
😂
I just tell my husband of 16 years, "I'll do it when I'm goddamned good and ready." He seems to take that rather seriously, to my credit, and returns the sentiment when I ask him to replace our seriously outdated ceiling fans. Fair enough.
I nearly got crushed by a heavy ceiling fan. I recommend finding a young body builder to take on that type of job, rather than inflict it on your precious spouse.
Love it!!😊
Woah, 45 years is soooooooo great!!!!!! We're celebrating a measly 30. Lol.
Great 'episode' today. Thanks!!!! Looking forward to watching results roll in tonight!!!!
LET'S GOOOOOO DEMS!!! LET'S MAKE IT A SWEEP!!!!!!!
Bless! And here's to many more such years.
During our marriage of 55 years, my saying, "Are your arms painted on?" has become a daily occurrence when asking for help doing something. The joys, you got that right.
hey everybody we're all gonna get laid!
That’s like the old ad where a Tyrannosaurus Rex offers to pick up the dinner tab for a group of friends. But of course he can’t reach it with those tiny arms…
Stealing this
😂😂😂
here's a thing I learned some time ago: if you ever think of something really clever that you imagine you invented, don't google it, because you'll only be disappointed to learn someone else thought of it first.
which is why it took me three days to work up the courage to google "the Great Fatsby" — and I learned it was the title of a Leslie West album release in 1975.
arrgh
Every mystic learns that one sooner or later. There are no original thoughts, only echoes that finally found your frequency.
Still, props for tuning into the same wavelength as Leslie West.
Blessed be the ones who rediscover what was never lost.
Ahem...it was the name of a Great Gatsby parody I wrote in National Lampoon around 1975 at the request of editor Gerry Sussman.
ok, I just googled that, and it's from your December 1982 issue. (and if I were to have had it implanted in my brain decades ago, it's more likely I saw it in the Lampoon than on an album cover)
1982 makes more sense. That's when I was freelancing for them. Thanks!
I was a regular reader of Lampoon back in the day. (I turned my high school classmates onto the Yearbook issue, much to the consternation of many of the faculty.😂)
That was a great issue - the High School was in Dacron Ohio.
Wow, that is impressive. Good times back then. We had National Lampoon and Mad Magazine and, well you fill in the blanks.
And EVERYTHING!
Yep, I started with Mad as a kid, then Lampoon in college. Great publications!
"instant vacations via liquor and loud, loud music"
But no one has this album so you’re good!
Yes, even I don't own this album...
I thought I invented the nickname, Jack Shit for our gubernatorial nominee, but I’ve been told I didn’t.
That was a line we juveniles used on each other in HS (late 60,s) and I had a T-shirt emblazoned with "You Don't Know Jack Shit" that I wore to our 10th reunion. I wish I still had it, although it wouldn't fit now.
Jeff, I must quote Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:
"Everything has been thought of before, but the problem is to think of it again."
To support your statement as true.
And I already copyrighted The Great Fartsby.
I kinda love that one. I feel compelled to use it somewhere today. Royalties will be in the mail.
Doesn’t matter because the Great Fatsby is THE best moniker for our fat stupid president.
Wow the great guitarist who knew. But we heard it from you first Jeff😉
You may not have been the first to coin the phrase, but you are the first (that I am aware of) to make such good use of it! Thank you!
You are the brilliant person who comes up with it (again) just when we need it!
The Great Fatsby (1975), featuring Mick Jagger on guitar!!
oops, heehee
Jimmy Kimmel used it, along with other names of course ("Darth Renovator" etc.)
Leslie fit the part. (Great guitarist!)
😂🤣😂
No worries. It's still brilliant. And it still applies.
MAGA Mike claims to be a professor of constitutional law. The university where he says he's law school dean DOES NOT EXIST. If you want to see something deeply weird, there's a YouTube clip of Mike and his daughter at a "Purity" ball, where she dresses like a bride and pledges before Jeebus and Daddy not to have sex before marriage. Things are awful but on a more positive note, Dick Cheney is dead.
Maybe Jake Tapper needs to write a book about Mike's cognitive decline. Oh that's right, he won't because...I have no idea. He wants to stay out of the gulag, I guess.
Yes, there is that. I'm waiting for the big one, though. When he dies, I will drive around in my car honking until I run out of gas and call AAA.
And then ride in the car on the flatbed honking some more!!!!
Fifty Fifty the tow truck driver will be either MAGA or a Latino immigrant so check him out first !
🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆
Nothing says symbolic incest like a good ol' fashioned Purity Ball. Maybe Mike should have just married off his daughter to some geriatric jamoke at the age of 12, like they did in the Bible.
Geriatric Jamoke Trump to spare Ivanka from incest
Though I formerly hated Dick Cheney with every ounce of my being, I forgave him in the fall of 2024, when he announced that he was voting for Kamala Harris!
That's how piss poor Donald Trump is. That even The Prince of Darkness, as we used to refer to Cheney in our house, couldn't vote for him.
Personally I think Mike Johnson has a serial chicken choker issue. As a young man I was told by my priest that it could make you forgetful and possibly blind and so much seed spilled on the path to heaven could make it very slippery and you could fall off the path and never find true bliss. He needs to stop soon but I fear it's too late.
Aha ! The dreaded ONANISM.
Aha!
He's got more than that - try a serious Grindr issue...
He'll have to get back to you on that. He hasn't been aware of that. Maybe 2 weeks.
Yes, I wrote a response to that on Dean Blundell. I learned it on the Bulwark, where it was revealed that they are still republicans (especially Bill Kristol). So glad I never subscribed. I'll never read it again.
Ding, Dong, Darth is Dead!
Finally! 😈
Does Dick Cheney’s death mean there really is a God?
He finally did something I agreed with.
Purity Ball? Didn't Three Dog Night release that as a single in 1971?
😂😂😂
Amazing how nobody knows nothing about anything: Holy Moses Johnson, Agent Orange, MarkyWayne Mullet, the list is endless. I don’t know how government can function with a group of know-nothings…. Oh SNAP! It doesn’t. Fuckwits. 🙄
And none of them give a shit that we know they’re lying their fucking faces off.
OMG, "MarkyWayne Mullet..." Almost spit my Coke Zero all over my lappy!! :D
The follow-on gif of Burt Reynolds in the mammoth cowboy hat gave the cats on my lap a terrifyiing earfull of LOL.
That’s from SNL! It was beyond! 🤣👏🏻🤣👏🏻🤣👏🏻
Good ol Norm
Right?! So good!!!
Wow--how extraordinarily privileged we all are to actually know about all the shit that Amnesia Mike never heard about....do they let him out of the dungeon only when he needs to go on camera and look stupid?
Markwayne Mullet!😂😂😂
I understood every word, Jeff, and enjoyed every bit of your post, as I always do. If it wasn't for you, I'm pretty sure I would have wandered off into the woods to never be seen again. I knew twatwaffle was going to be a cluster-fuck when he "won" the election, but my imagination simply didn't go far enough. It's constant bullshit hour after hour, day after day. And, I'm sick to death of it, AND sick to death of twatwaffle himself. Anyway, thank you, Jeff for a little sanity in an insane world 🤪🤬👏👏✌️✌️
You are not alone, Annabelle! I’m sick to death of all of it too.
Donny Demento and the Spineless Speaker should get together and revive the Know Nothing Party.
I think they already have.
There could be another explanation,
other than a traumatic brain injury, for Holy Mike’s lack of awareness. Now that he’s on a three month paid vacation, he has plenty of time to stare at his phone to make sure his son isn’t.beating his meat.
MY GAWD! I never thought I could miss Kevin McCarthy so much!
You can’t possibly “miss” any of these schmucks- but, I get your point!
Hey, whatever happened to Holy Mikes's adopted black son? Anyone?
He disappeared as quickly as the blood on Trump’s earlobe.
Trump Health Care Plan Questionnaire :
Rich?….check
White?….check
Male?…..check
Approved. Email me, bro.
Reminds me of a favorite tune when I need to be smirking while driving, by Root Boy Slim .. Rich, White, Republican.
A classic, and a gentleman.
I take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one infuriated by Adam's request for presidential intervention in his medical treatment. And even more infuriated by the fact that the request will be granted. 😡
Dilbert the Dildo saved by the biggest proverbial dick ever
Saved? Not likely. At most, a few more months of a miserable life with terminal cancer... which is all that most of these "treatments" are shown to provide for the small portion of patients who have a positive response, and that's only if a person can survive the side effects. The general public isn't very aware of the difference between treatments and cures, so all we're really paying for is hope.
True. The "active ingredient" in Pluvicto is an isotope of Luthinium, which is radioactive.
Alas, if the pharma industry were required to demonstrate effectiveness at the 3 sigma level versus 2 sigma, a lot of these marginal drugs wouldn't be around. Even Dilbert would have known that.
I'm not educated in the sigma differences, Stephen. I only know through my personal studies and observations that the cancer community considers even the shortest prolongation of life to be a huge victory... which is why such drugs and immunotherapies are approved for use. (Maybe we're basically saying the same thing here, and you're just more knowledgeable/educated about the approval process.)
Truth!!
Side effects indeed kill an unhealthy patient.
Good observation!
You ever notice how the people shouting “I’m guided by God” are also the ones who can’t find a single fact with both hands and a flashlight?
Every press conference is the same. He stares blankly like he’s buffering, forgets every headline since Tuesday, then blames the deep state for his amnesia.
At this point, the Sermon on the Mount has been replaced by the Sermon on the Couch Cushion, where you just lose your brain somewhere under the remote.
Or your brain gets humped by JD Vance
Just when you think the parable couldn’t get any stranger, along comes JD with his unique interpretation of “laying on of hands.”
Dick Cheney is dead. Next?
maybe Dick Cheney is just pining for the fjords
Naw. Just resting after a prolonged squawk!
Are we sure he's quite dead , most seriously dead ?
It's inconclusive. His pulse has been undetectable for a decade, and his heart was two sizes too small.
Maybe he’s just mostly dead. Where’s Miracle Max?
I got to outlive one of the bastards.
Yes, and that ain't nothing. He should have croaked a long time ago, but he got someone's heart and the very best medical care. Bah!
Murc's Law allows this empty suit with a porno pinger the power to flaunt the power of the unreconstructed over us.
This essentially amounts to a decapitation strike on America, and we're ruled by a viceroy of a foreign power. There's effectively no Congress now, and the Taney Court 2.0 is captive to the pricktator.
We have to dig deep. The only way to even have a semblance of hope of making Congress relevant is a Democratic impeachment+removal-sized majority. People have to be single-minded on the mission for 2026. Jump your voter suppression hoops now so you are ready!
Hear hear! All of this!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
We no longer have a representative Republic.
Today, American Citizens in Virginia, New Jersey and California will send a VERY LOUD “FUCK YOU” to lying scumbag, America’s PieceOfShit and Disgrace, Donald Criminal Trump!
- DEM Spanberger wins the Governor’s office in Virginia!
- DEM Sherrill wins the Governor’s office in New Jersey!
- DEM Governor Newsom’s Proposition 50 wins voter approval!
Hey, Donald, go fuck yourself!
63% of Americans hate your lying ass!
I really don't understand why it isn't 100%. People are crazy.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Johnson arrives at the pearly gates and realizes how fast he's gonna have to tap dance to be allowed inside.
St Peter will take out the Gospel and quote: “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
The residual Catholic in me remembers these words well, TRIES to live by them, and gets very unChristianlike angry when people like Johnson don't.
I'm thinking St Peter won't need to take out the Gospel. When Johnson asks "why can't I come in", St Peter will say "I don't know. This is the first I am hearing of it...it's out of my hands...I've really been so busy and not getting much sleep.... maybe you should ask him...." as he motions Satan over to take Mike's arm and lead him to those other gates.
Wouldn’t the arm come off it is just dangling there, can’t you see it’s broken?
Thanks for noticing my weak attempt to weave in the "inside joke." :-)
I liked it it is understandable keep commenting and don’t worry we all (even Jeff) are self critical, don’t go there let it rip girl!
Good one!
“I don’t know. This is the first I’m hearing of it.” St Peter to Moses Mike. 🤣 🤣🤣 Your humor is perfect, Amy! I giggle just picturing this. Thank you.
🤣🤣🤣
Satan won't have him - doesn't want the competition.
For what it is worth, I think Satan will have no problem putting Johnson in his place. Satan actually led a revolt. Mikey has all the leadership skills of a lemming.
Fair enough!
😳😂😂😂😂
Same.
But but....our preznit has done so much for us.
https://thistleandmoss.com/p/trump-s-lies-the-60-minutes-edition
Keep rockin it Jeff.
Not one coherent sentence came out of his mouth!
This surprises you?
Hell no!!😊
Scott Adams. Burn in Hell.
I love watching karma in real time.