GOP hit by amnesia ray from outer space, can’t remember January 6th

how did this happen?

here’s some weird shit: reporters trying to get elected officials to comment on Donny’s mass-pardoning of the January 6th insurrectionists have been met with blank stares. ‘huh? something happened on January 6th?’

this inexplicable malady has even affected the lawmakers who were inside the Capitol that day — they no longer have any memory of what they experienced. Reps and Senators who cowered in fear as violent insurrectionists trashed their offices and smeared shit on the walls have apparently blanked the whole thing out of their minds — and so they’ve have had to invent their own delusional narratives of what happened.

and the oddest thing of all? this strange mass psychosis has only affected Republicans.

witness the sad case of former Minnesota Rep. Michele Bag O’Hair. the poor dear thinks Jan 6 was a prayer meeting.

Michele Bachmann: “it was like a prayer meeting on Jan. 6 in DC. people were preaching the gospel.”

yeah, no. the only people praying on Jan. 6 were elected officials reaching out to the deities of their choice, and begging to have their lives spared.

Holy Mike Johnson has also had his memory mysteriously wiped clean.

“speaker Mike Johnson is now calling January 6th a day of peaceful protests.”

Holy Mike needs to check himself into a good memory care facility, because nothing says ‘peaceful protest’ so much as using a battering ram to smash windows.

Johnson has had his brains scrambled so thoroughly that he’s going to form a committee to investigate the January 6 investigators.

wherever George Orwell is right now, he’s laughing his ass off.

now check out poor Tim Burchett. the Tennessee Rep hasn’t just had his memory wiped, he’s also apparently gone selectively blind.

Tim Burchett: “show me the tapes of these individuals beating police officers.”

Jim Acosta: “we’re showing it right now.”

won’t someone help this poor man? maybe start a go-fund-me the pay for the eye surgery Rep. Burchett so badly needs?

here’s a fun story: there was apparently some kind of effort by Donny’s people to weed out the most-violent of the insurrectionists and deny them pardons. Team Donny brought all the paperwork into the Oval Office and sat down to hash it out — but Team Donny forgot all about the part where presidenting is hard and Dear Leader has the attention span of a coked-up squirrel. Donny spent about seventeen seconds listening to them talk, and then basically got bored.

In one of the first acts of his second administration, President Donald Trump pardoned nearly all of the January 6 criminals and new details reveal the spur-of-the-moment decision to release 1,500 people charged.

“Trump just said: ‘F*** it: Release ‘em all,’” an adviser familiar with the discussions told the Axios.

it’s not like anyone couldn’t have seen this coming. Donny’s the guy who has to have his daily intel briefings boiled down to bullet points because he’s a dimwit who can’t sit still long enough to read an entire page of text. there was no fucking way he was ever going to evaluate fifteen hundred insurrectionists’ misdeeds on a case-by-case basis.

“fuck it, release ‘em all.”

too many voters conveniently forgot that Donny spent his entire first presidency making one disastrous seat-of-the-pants decision after another, because he can’t be bothered to do the work — and now they’ve sent him back to the Oval Office, to make all-new dumb-ass stumbles.

what, as I never tire of saying, could possibly go wrong?

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FAFO of the day: Donny has a message for the Latino community: thank you very much for your vote — now go fuck yourselves.

“Hispanic advocacy groups and others expressed confusion at the abrupt change and frustration at what some called the administration’s lack of efforts to maintain communication with the Latino community, which helped propel him to the presidency.”

Latino activists who voted for Donny are shocked to find the leopards eating their faces.

“A move like shutting down the Spanish White House page and X profile serves no purpose other than to cut off resources for millions of Hispanic Americans and immigrants attempting to enter the United States legally,” Hernandez said. “And it’s a slap in the face to the millions of Hispanic voters that supported him in this recent election.”

if advocacy groups think that Donny’s removal of the Spanish-language White House website is bad, wait until they hear about his plan to strip Latinos of their citizenship and send them back to “where they came from.”

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here’s your hero of the day: Michael Fanone

Michael Fanone remembers January 6th well. he was one of the cops who were attacked and beaten by the insurrectionists. Michael’s got a message for newly-pardoned Proud Boy Stewart Rhodes.

Rhodes has been going around saying he has no regrets for what he did, and in fact he’d do it all over again — and Michael Fanone has had it up to here with that shit.

“this is what I would say to Stewart Rhodes: go fuck yourself.”

Officer Fanone speaks for all of us.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.