why does the White House even bother sending Vice President Couchfuck McGee out to do the Sunday shows? he’s smug, whiny and repellent. dude has negative charisma, and can’t even lie with conviction.
if they need to get him out of the White House so they can disinfect whatever rooms he’s been in, why can’t they just drop him off at a local furniture store and say ‘here you are, bro. go nuts.’
it really would be a better use of everyone’s time.
nonetheless, there Couchfuck was on Meet the Press, where host Kristin Welker had to put up with his bloviating bullshit.
Kristin Welker: “are you seriously looking at invoking the Insurrection Act?”
JD Vance: “the president is looking at all of his options, right now he hasn’t felt he needed to.”
let me just jump in right here, because pro tip: that Donny Fuckwit hasn’t already invoked the Insurrection Act ‘because he hasn’t felt the need to’ is proof that invoking Insurrection Act would be fascistic overreach.
the Insurrection Act isn’t in case some inflatable frog hurts your feelings.
the Insurrection Act is for putting down actual armed rebellions. if that kind of shit were really going down in Chicago and Portland, invoking the Act wouldn’t be an ‘option’ to be considered — the governors of Illinois and Oregon would be calling for it.
here’s an option for Donny to consider: resigning in disgrace for being a fascist fuck.
oh wait, Couchfuck isn’t finished boring the shit out of all of us.
Vance: “but we have to remember we are talking about this because crime has gotten out of control in our cities.”
Welker: “crime is down in both Chicago and Portland.”
Vance: “crime is down in Chicago and Portland often because they are so overwhelmed at the local level they are not even keeping the statistics properly.”
oh come on. that’s not even a good lie. that’s how much contempt Couchfuck has for the media — he’ll fart out some farcical twaddle’s that on the level of ‘the dog ate my crime statistics.’
‘there’s so much criming, they can’t even write down the criming, because someone stole all the pencils.’
let’s go live to Chicago’s Broadview neighborhood (edit) suburb, where crime is so rampant that local authorities can’t even keep track of how many inflatable cows there are.
cow, did you steal all the pencils? give them back, you meanie.
after shitting the bed on Meet the Press, it was time for Couchfuck to bring his dog-and-pony show to ABC This Week.
host George Stephanopoulos wanted to discuss that charming little incident where Donny’s racism czar Tom Homan got caught on video accepting a bribe in the form of a huge bag of cash.
‘bribe? what bribe?’ insisted Couchfuck.
Stephanopoulos: “did Tom Homan give the $50,000 back?”
Vance: “he did not take a bribe. it’s a ridiculous smear.”
Stephanopoulos: “you didn’t answer the question.”
Vance: “did he accept $50,000? I’m sure that in the course of Homan’s life, he’s been paid more than $50k for services.”
right, who among us hasn’t received a literal bag of cash in return for ‘services’ — which is an odd way to describe promising access to government contracts in return for money, which just happens to be a crime known as ‘accepting a bribe.’
here’s a dramatic recreation of the crime.
hey, you know who else gets paid for service? drug dealers. can they use Couchfuck’s rationale in a court of law? I’d like to see how that would go.
‘oh no, I wasn’t doing anything illegal, I was just accepting money for services.’
now, let’s watch Stephanopoulos win the Nobel Actually Committing A Journalism Prize.
Stephanopoulos: “I didn’t insinuate anything. I asked you whether Tom Homan accepted $50k as was heard on an audio tape recorded by the FBI in September 2024. you did not answer the question. thank you for your time.”
Vance: “no, George, I said—”
Stephanopoulos: “we’ll be right back.”
yes!
‘thank you for your time’ is polite journalist-speak for ‘get the fuck out of my my sight, you time-wasting bastard.’
this is how it’s done.
in the first place, no Sunday show should be giving these lying fuckfaces any air time at all. all they do is piss on our heads and tell us it’s raining. it’s a complete waste of everyone’s time. the only one who benefits is the liar, who gets to shit out their propaganda into the living rooms of America. mission accomplished.
but if you are going to have them come onto your show, at least don’t let them get away with it.
now let’s check out some state-run media and see what they’re yapping about on Newsmax.
Wisconsin Rep. Derrick Van Orden: “I’m disgusted with the Nobel Peace guys. they gave Barack Obama the Nobel Participation Trophy and they refused to give this to Donald Trump with his amazing accomplishments.”
oh my god, shut up with your bellyaching already.
we’re never going to hear the end of it from these grievance-babies are we, about how the Nobel Committee was so mean to Dear Leader, are we? because nothing says I’m an Alpha Male so much as whining like children at a birthday party about how Barack got a neat toy, and Donny didn’t get a toy. it’s not fair. why doesn’t Donny get a toy?
grow the fuck up.
now let’s click on over to Fox News, just to confirm that, yup, Eric is still the winner of the Nobel Dumbest Trump Prize.
“I got a call. ‘the FBI is at the front gates of Mar-a-Lago, they have a search warrant, sir.’”
two observations: one, Eric’s gibbering like a rabid squirrel. has he been dipping into his brother’s stash? two, it’s a ‘sir’ story! everyone take a drink! ok, back to Eric’s overheated narrative.
“and I go, ‘why would they have a search warrant? what are they trying to search at Mar-a-Lago?’ … and sure enough, we find out that Jack Smith is planting manila folders on the office of my father, taking these glamorous photo shoots where he has them all fanned out.”
fact check: shut your lying mouth, you paste-eating shit-gibbon.
the Mar-a-Lago FBI search with the ‘glamorous’ photo that Eric is so incensed about, that happened on August 8th, 2022.
do you know where Jack Smith was on that date? in The Hague, wearing that awesome judicial robe, and convicting war criminals.
Jack Smith wasn’t appointed Special Counsel until three months later, in November — but apparently Smith is such a wily sumbitch that he flew all the way from The Hague to Florida with enough classified documents to fill a shitter, planted them at Motel-a-Lago, and then hightailed it back to Europe without anyone noticing. and then, three months later, got himself named Special Counsel, so he could finish framing Donny.
tell me, does every member of the Trump family suck at the passage of time, how does it work?
it’s a legit question, because on Saturday, Donny apparently forgot that he was the president on January 6, 2021.
are the Trumps all that confused, or is it that they’re just a bunch of fucking liars who hope we’re too dumb to notice?
if only there were some way to know for sure.
speaking of Preznit Fuckwit, it’s time for him to do something stupid.
let’s all enjoy this clip from yesterday, as MAGA’s Peak Exemplar of Masculine Prowess utterly fails to win the Nobel Umbrellas, How Do They Work? Prize.
how pathetic. Donny is so flummoxed by the fact that the umbrella is wider than the door, that some flunky has come to his rescue.
‘sir! sir! how do you do it, sir! no one has ever fucked up as clowntastically as you! sir!’
(actually, Donny’s done it at least twice.)
let’s gif that shit for all eternity’s sake.
chef’s kiss. no notes.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
868 / 957
THIS JUST IN: I have been informed that Broadview is a suburb of Chicago, not a neighborhood of Chicago. the post has been updated. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
are all you east-coasters having a fun nor'easter? up here in the Hudson Valley, it's been raining cats and dogs since last night