forced-birth fascists want a federal database to track all pregnant women

whatever happened to “reproductive rights should be left up to the states”?

the last time christofascist poster girl Katie Britt’s vapid face was in the news, she was giving the State of the Union response. there she was, in her modest kitchen, speaking in a childish singsong whisper as she spun a heart-rending tale of sex trafficking and enslavement that only happened because of that monster Sleepy Brandon and his open border policies.

but as we know now, everything about that speech was a fucking lie.

there is no “modest kitchen” — Katie Britt lives in a 6,000 square foot mansion. that singsong whisper isn’t how Katie actually speaks — it’s a women-should-be-submissive put-on known as the “fundy baby voice.” and that tale of Biden-enabled sex trafficking? the events took place in Mexico, almost 20 years ago, while George W. Bush was president.

all this establishes Katie Britt as just another bad-faith Republican unashamed to lie out of both sides of her mouth.

while we’re on the subject, here’s another lie that Katie and her force-birth cohort love to tell: “reproductive rights should be left up to the states.”

we heard this lie spun over and over in the wake of the Dobbs decision: it’s a state’s-rights issue. calm down — if you live in a blue state, your reproductive rights are safe.

we know this is a fucking lie because dipshits like Senate embarrassment JD Vance have been promising to inflict a national abortion ban.

and now there’s this — a federal database of all pregnant people. and look who’s behind it: our vacant-eyed friend, Forced-Birth Barbie.

Katie Britt proposes federal database to collect data on pregnant people

Katie Britt, the Republican US senator from Alabama best known for delivering a widely ridiculed State of the Union speech in March, marked the run-up to Mother’s Day on Sunday by introducing a bill to create a federal database to collect data on pregnant people.

what — and I cannot stress this enough — in the actual fuck?

The website would direct users to enter their personal data and contact information … which government officials may use “to conduct outreach via phone or email to follow up with users on additional resources that would be helpful for the users to review”.

oh that’s lovely. just what we need, the federal government calling people up and asking “hey, how’s that pregnancy going? you are still pregnant, aren’t you?”

this from the political party that’s always yammering about how we need smaller government.

Forced-Birth Barbie swears that this federal registry is intended to help pregnant women — and she’s given it the most goddamned cute name: the MOMS act. she’s released a video explaining how awesome it is, complete with Katie droning on in that demeaning fake baby voice.

do you trust these forced birth fascists enough to hand them all this very personal, private data? because I sure as fuck don’t.

so, who’s going to end up in this database? everybody.

are you a ten-year-old child who’s been raped by her degenerate stepfather? the federal government wants to know what’s going on with that fetus, honeybunch.

are you carrying a defective fetus that will die minutes after birth, and is a danger to your own life? hi, we’re from the government. could you give us your doctor’s name?

are you currently in an emergency room, bleeding out while some doctor’s lawyer evaluates whether you’re close enough to death to be allowed a life-saving abortion? hello, the government’s on the phone. they have a few questions for you.

oh, and that last scenario, the bleeding-out-in-an-emergency-room one? I didn’t make that up. this is actually happening right now, in one red-state ER after another.

thanks to the draconian laws written by the forced-birth christofascists, these “for the life of the mother” exceptions to abortion bans turn out to be pretty fucking medieval.

you might imagine that the process goes like this: your doctor tells you that something’s gone wrong and you need an abortion to save your own life, and they perform one — as soon as possible.

sorry, no — that’s not how it works. under these fucked-up laws, you have to be actively in the process of dying in order to get your life-saving healthcare.

according to Lisa Harris, a professor of reproductive health at the University of Michigan,

doctors in states where abortion is now illegal will likely “wait to that very last minute when it’s clear that a patient will die to do the procedure, and that’s just not an ideal time to do any kind of intervention.”

and it’s not just the doctor who is now waiting for that magical moment when you’re exactly the right kind of dying to be operated on. nope, there’s now some lawyer on the case as well.

listen to Dr. Jessica Rubino, an abortion provider at Austin Women’s Health Center:

“My lawyer told me, ‘Unless they are on that table dying in front of you, you cannot do an abortion on them or you are breaking the law,’” she said, adding, “How am I supposed to help people from jail?”

here’s the heartwarming story of a woman in Texas who almost died because doctors had to wait until she had a fever of 103° before they could legally intervene.

Finally, Amanda was sick enough that the doctors felt legally safe to terminate the pregnancy, she said.

But Amanda was so sick that antibiotics wouldn’t stop the bacterial infection raging through her body. A blood transfusion didn’t cure her, either.

About 12 hours after her pregnancy was terminated, doctors and nurses flooded her room.

“There’s a lot of commotion, and I said, ‘what’s going on?’ and they said, ‘we’re moving you to the ICU,’ and I said, ‘why?’ and they said, ‘you’re developing symptoms of sepsis,’ ” she said.

awesome stuff here — and the fiends responsible for these hellish laws now want a national database of all pregnancies.

fuck that shit, and fuck it hard.

here’s a better idea: if Katie Britt’s so hot for a federal database, how about one for something that’s actually dangerous. how about one for guns?

oh wait, no. Katie doesn’t want any of that shit happening — because that kind of data collection would be government overreach.

of course, Forced-Birth Barbie’s vision of a government bureaucracy snooping around every pregnancy hasn’t a snowball’s chance. if it passes the House, the Senate won’t even bother bringing it up for a vote.

but this is who the forced-birth christofascists are. this is what they want. and heaven help us if Republicans retake all three branches of government — because all this invasive anti-science fuckery is baked right into the Project 2025 agenda that these shitheads can’t wait to inflict on the rest of us.

this November, vote as if your life depended on it. because it fucking well does.