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first they came for the gas stoves, and I didn't speak out— because what in the stupidest fuck ever

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first they came for the gas stoves, and I didn't speak out— because what in the stupidest fuck ever

this day in batshit fucknuttery

Jeff Tiedrich
Jan 12, 2023
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first they came for the gas stoves, and I didn't speak out— because what in the stupidest fuck ever

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you may have noticed in your social media feeds that the MAGAs in your life are screaming incoherently about gas stoves. what in actual fuck are they on about now?

writing in Forbes, Bruce Y. Lee notes:

A January 9 article by Ari Natter for Bloomberg quoted U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) Commissioner Richard Trumka Jr., as describing indoor air pollutants from gas stoves as “a hidden hazard” and indicating that “any option is on the table. Products that can’t be made safe can be banned.” Note that Trumka, Jr., didn’t specifically say that all gas stoves will be banned or that the government is coming for your gas stoves. [emphasis mine]

that’s all it took for the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex crank itself right the fuck into overdrive.

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Former Fuck’s day-drunk personal drug connection was among the first to weigh in:

Twitter avatar for @RonnyJacksonTX
Ronny Jackson @RonnyJacksonTX
I’ll NEVER give up my gas stove. If the maniacs in the White House come for my stove, they can pry it from my cold dead hands. COME AND TAKE IT!!
3:52 PM ∙ Jan 10, 2023
42,808Likes5,281Retweets

so was Representative I Really Have No Idea Who She Is:

Twitter avatar for @RepHarshbarger
Rep. Diana Harshbarger @RepHarshbarger
The federal government should never be powerful enough to come after your kitchen appliances.
7:08 PM ∙ Jan 11, 2023
703Likes173Retweets

and eventually it trickled down to the garden variety lunatics:

Twitter avatar for @samanthamarika1
Samantha Marika @samanthamarika1
The people wanting to ban gas stoves because they are worried about “childhood asthma” are the same people encouraging children to inject an unknown substance into their arm...
5:16 AM ∙ Jan 11, 2023
4,935Likes911Retweets
Twitter avatar for @thebradfordfile
thebradfordfile @thebradfordfile
Otherwise healthy people are dying suddenly, so naturally the Biden regime is focused on gas stoves. You cannot make this shit up.
4:32 AM ∙ Jan 11, 2023
4,190Likes856Retweets

even Area Numbskull Joe Manchin opened his tiresome mouth:

Twitter avatar for @Sen_JoeManchin
Senator Joe Manchin @Sen_JoeManchin
This is a recipe for disaster. The federal government has no business telling American families how to cook their dinner. I can tell you the last thing that would ever leave my house is the gas stove that we cook on.
bloomberg.comBloomberg - Are you a robot?
8:07 PM ∙ Jan 10, 2023
25,066Likes4,086Retweets

things eventually got so noisy that the US Safety Agency had to put out official statement stating that no ban of gas stoves was being planned.

which of course the Wingnut Moron Brigade is framing as a “walkback” even though IT WAS NEVER A POLICY TO BEGIN WITH [insert sound of head exploding].

Twitter avatar for @SoonerPolitics
Sooner Politics @SoonerPolitics
Biden Official Tries to Walk Back Gas Stove Ban Talk soonerpolitics.org/bongino/biden-…
3:31 PM ∙ Jan 11, 2023

as Atrios likes to say, “the stupid, it burns.”

but remember above all, it’s the standard conservative playbook here, folks: keep the rubes riled up over imaginary bullshit and they won’t notice that you’re picking their pockets

everyone is entitled to my own opinion is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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first they came for the gas stoves, and I didn't speak out— because what in the stupidest fuck ever

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first they came for the gas stoves, and I didn't speak out— because what in the stupidest fuck ever

www.jefftiedrich.com
Neal Stiffelman
Jan 12Liked by Jeff Tiedrich

At times I wonder if there's a special carnival sideshow wing in Hell where the souls of gullible rubes who voted Republican are doomed to wander, slack-jawed mouths agape and drooling, as demons pop out to yank fingers off their hands and noses off their faces, wrench arms from their sockets and slice buttocks off torsos, until those tormented souls spy a neon sign above a golden door that reads "This Way to the Egress", and when they walk through the door all is restored... until they realize they are trapped in this Carnival of Souls and begins again. And all the while and for all eternity, growing louder with each circuit, spectral P T Barnum's laughter echoes through the Hellscape Midway.

Of course, Gehenna is much much worse for the predatory, for those who tempted those voters in the Time of Living.

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Karen Livolsi
Jan 12

What kind of defective brains think these ravings have any basis in even the outer most fringes of reality? Why are they even in print? Do you think Joe Manchin 20 years ago would ever entertain seriously answering accusations about stoves? But, here we are. Stoves.

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