fascist fuckery intensifies in Springfield

welcome to the new Ground Zero for Republican bigotry

here’s a fun, cool thing those madcap Nazis did in Germany in the 1930s: every time a Jewish person ended up on the wrong side of the law, it was blown up into national news. it didn’t matter how small or insignificant the infraction — there it was, splashed all over the the front page of Der Stürmer. Neues Volk regularly published photos of Jews, alongside write-ups of their their supposed crimes.

“Jewish Criminality,” the Nazis labeled it. “the Jew is outside the law” was the message to be hammered home.

oh, and if it were some financial crime at the center of the story — tax avoidance, or bank fraud — the compliant, Nazi-adjacent press had a fucking field day.

this constant barrage of ‘every Jew is a criminal’ propaganda was so effective, that by the time the Nazis started carting Jews off to concentration camps, the average German citizen was all what the fuck took you so long?

all of which should make what’s going on in America in 2024 send shivers up every decent person’s spine.

what the hell are you doing, New York Post?

that’s right, a fender-bender in a small Ohio city is now a front-page story in the New York Post. no one died, no one was injured. there are tens of thousands of minor traffic accidents ever year in America. Springfield is five hundred miles from New York City — so why is this front-page news on a New York newspaper?

this is why: because the driver was Haitian. aha! Haitian Criminality! everything Dear Leader said about those people is true!

this evil Haitian didn’t single out just anyone for his vehicular crime spree — no, his victims were a mother and her autistic daughter. the swarthy migrant probably did it on purpose. Haitian Criminality!

now tell me if this sounds familiar.

Der Stürmer notably perpetuated the myth of Jewish criminality by soliciting public slander about German Jews—in the form of readers’ letters—and passing it off as fact.

let’s move from 1934 Gemany to 90 years in the future. brain-dead bigots aren’t writing letters to newspapers anymore. it’s so much easier to go onto Facebook and post, “my aunt’s cousin has a neighbor who heard from his brother that someone he knows told him about a Haitian illegal who shoved an entire cat up his nostril” for the whole world to see.

the idiots phoning in bomb threats to Springfield schools and government buildings have a new target: hospitals.

Two separate hospitals in Springfield, Ohio were placed under a brief lockdown Saturday morning after receiving bomb threats.

Security members at Kettering Health Springfield were notified of a bomb threat at approximately 6:50 a.m. and locked down the facility. Officers with the Springfield Police Department were then called in to search the premises with the security team.

why hospitals? what did hospitals do? what role do hospitals play in this fucked-up fairy tale of imaginary Haitian Criminality?

yesterday, the Proud Boys descended on Springfield for a show of force.

that is, if you can call eighteen doofuses wandering dazed and confused through a shopping center parking lot “a show of force.” after all, nothing says we’re here to fuck migrant shit up more than a badly-fitting pair of cargo shorts.

no word on if the Proud Boys found any Haitians inside the Springfield Pizza Hut.

move over, Proud Boys, because here comes the KKK to show you how it’s done. these fuckers have been perfecting hatred and bigotry for over a hundred years. they’re now distributing these lovely flyers in Springfield.

the KKK really knows how to hate. they’ve even got the Hitler font and everything.

it cannot be overstated how much the average Springfieldian wants no part of this racist fuckery. these people did not sign up to be Ground Zero for Republican bigotry — but now they find themselves in the middle of a shitstorm, with their schools and hospitals shut down and hate-mongers making pilgrimages.

this is just heartbreaking.

Shortly before the ABC News presidential debate on Tuesday, the parents of a child who was killed in a bus crash caused by a Haitian immigrant in Springfield, Ohio, last year made an emotional plea for former President Donald Trump, vice presidential candidate JD Vance and others to stop using the death of their child “as a political tool.”

“They have spoken my son's name and used his death for political gain,” said Nathan Clark, who spoke at a Springfield City Commission hearing. Flanked by his wife Danielle, Clark said "My son was not murdered. He was accidentally killed by an immigrant from Haiti."

“I wish that my son, Aiden Clark, was killed by a 60-year-old white man. I bet you never thought anyone would ever say something so blunt. But if that guy killed my 11-year-old son, the incessant group of hate-spewing people would leave us alone,” he said tearfully.

for fuck’s sake, MAGA — leave these poor people alone. haven’t they already suffered enough?

a reporter caught up with Donny Convict the other day and asked him this simple question.

reporter: “do you denounce the bomb threats in Springfield, Ohio?”
Donny: “I don’t know what happened with the bomb threats. I know that it’s been taken over by illegal migrants, and that’s a terrible thing that happened.”

shut the fuck up, Donny.

good fucking lord, how hard would have been for this useless waste of air to have just mouthed the words “yes, I denounce the bomb threats”? but no, having a normal human reaction is a bridge too far for this inhuman fuck.

right now, as I’m writing this at 9:30am on Sunday morning, Couchfuck McGee is on Dana Bash’s show, continuing to spread debunked lies about legal Haitian migrants in Springfield.

gaze in awe as Dana actually does her job and fact-checks JD in real-time.

Couchfuck: “there are 911 calls from well before this ever became a viral sensation about people complaining about that exact thing happening.”
Dana Bash: “Senator, I have to go through several things that you just said. first of all, the Clark County Sheriff and the Ohio Department of Natural Resources reviewed eleven months of 911 calls. they only identified two instances of people alleging Haitians were taking geese out of parks. they found ZERO evidence to substantiate those claims. also, other evidence that you have talked about — even retweeted — alleged evidence, are unsourced social media videos from a different city, apparently no connection to Haitians.”

so, how does this misogynistic prick react? he calls being fact-checked by Bash “disgusting.”

are there any Republicans denouncing Donny and Couchfuck’s baseless hate-mongering? don’t bother to ask. each and every one of these useless fucksticks is too busy posting infantile memes on not-twitter.

hey, remember when Esteemed Senator Fidel Cancun left his constituents to freeze to death in the dark during a state-wide weather crisis?

he also abandoned his dog.

fuck off, Ted.

the ultimate goal here, of course, is to equate in the minds of Americans, Haitian and criminal. Haitian Criminality — and by extension, Immigrant Criminality.

that way, when Donny regains power and sends his storm troopers into towns and cities to round up and deport anyone whose skin is the wrong color, MAGAfied Americans will be all what took you so long?

are you a US citizen? that won’t save you. Donny and Project 2025 have a plan to strip citizenship from anyone they don’t like.

register. vote. make sure this never happens. we can do it — we have to do it.