evil Republican shitweasels set conditions on California aid

welcome to government by retributive mass delusion

way back in the dark ages, when a state experienced a natural disaster, pretty much everyone in the federal government pitched in to help, no questions asked.

in 2020, Louisiana got the shit flattened out of it by two hurricanes, Laura and Delta. nobody blamed then-Governor John Bel Edwards for letting it happen. nobody accused him of having magical hurricane-stopping technology that he was refusing to employ. then, in 2021, Hurricane Ida swept through Louisiana. nobody demanded to know why the fuck Louisiana couldn’t get its act together. what did happen after the three hurricanes is that the federal government approved a $1.7 billion aid package for Louisiana.

just four months ago, in September 2024, Hurricane Francine ravaged Louisiana. nobody claimed it was current Governor Jeff Landry’s own fault, and nobody suggested that disaster relief be withheld until Landry agreed to a ludicrous list of demands. what did happen was that Congress swiftly approved $65 million in aid.

now let’s check out Louisiana’s own Holy Mike Johnson, that feckless poltroon currently cosplaying as the House Speaker.

Alexa, show me what the opposite of leadership looks like.

“I think there should be conditions on that aid.”

that was Holy Mike’s answer to CNN's Manu Raju, when asked if he’d be putting conditions on an aid package to wildfire-devastated California.

Mike Johnson’s favorite Bible story is probably the one where Jesus has a fish and a loaf, but he tells the multitudes to go fuck themselves, because it’s their own fault they’re hungry.

welcome to the new normal, where Republicans never pass up any opportunity to punish Democrats for being Democrats — because fuck you, that’s why.

this is the shit sandwich that the GOP has been shoving in our faces all week: that it’s California’s own fault for burning to the ground. the list of lies go on and on: it’s because the reservoirs were empty (they weren’t), it’s because of budget cuts (the firefighting budget was actually increased), it’s because of efforts to save an endangered fish (not the same water system), it’s because LA’s fire chief is a lesbian (how the fuck does that have anything to do with anything?) — all capped by Dear Leader’s insane hallucination of a building-sized spigot that Governor Newsom refuses to open.

to date, not one Republican has acknowledged the real reason for California’s devastation: that climate-change-enabled hurricane-force winds coupled with months of drought created a hellish firestorm that was too massive and fast-moving to control or contain — by any fire department, anywhere.

here’s an earful of evil from the dumbest fucking idiot in the Senate, failed football coach Tommy Tuberville.

Newsmax dipshit: “why should other states be bailing out California for choosing the wrong people to run their state?”
T-Tubes: “we shouldn’t be. they got forty million people in that state, and they voting these— these imbeciles in office, and they continue to do it. and it’s just a smer— very small part ’em in that state that’s doin’ it. if you go to California, you run into a lot of Republicans, lotta good people, and I hate it for them. but they are just overwhelmed by these inner-city uh woke policies with the people that vote for ’em.”

“they voting these” — Tuberville really is a cautionary tale for why you shouldn’t play football without a helmet. but look at what he blames the wildfires on: “inner-city woke policies.” woke, that magical meaningless word that means ‘anything I don’t agree with’ — and we all know who lives in the “inner cities,” don’t we?

and look how willing Tommy is to fuck over California’s Republicans, if it means he can punish Democrats.

look how eager Ronny Jackson is, too.

“… it’s gonna have to be in conjunction with some reforms that California hasn’t been willing to make. the way the regulate their water, and things of that nature. their forest management. the things that led to the fire. we can’t just dump money into a broken system, a poorly managed system.”

I have a question for Daydrunk McPillmill: these “reforms” that California hasn’t been “willing to make” — are they in the room with us right now?

everything Daydrunk is whining about is fiction spun by Dear Leader — especially this ludicrous poppycock about raking the forest.

how the fuck would raking the forest have prevented a hurricane of fire that started in a city?

Donny Convict claims to have gotten the rake the forest idea from Finland. you’ll be shocked to hear that Finland has no fucking clue what Donny’s blithering about.

Finns have been baffled by US President Donald Trump's comments praising the country for managing its vast forests by raking.

Citing a conversation with his Finnish counterpart, Mr Trump said they spend “a lot of time on raking and cleaning.”

But President Sauli Niinisto told a Finnish daily he could not remember talking about raking when the two met.

The forestry director of the Finnish Forest Association, Heikki Savolainen, told the newspaper that raking was not usually a forest-management measure.

Finland does not rake their forests — but now, Donny’s sweaty fever-dream of raked forests has been solidified into GOP dogma. because Dear Leader says forests must be raked, Congressional Republicans are going to inflict this useless forest raking on California. you want your money? first show me some rakes.

government by retributive mass delusion, just as our Founding Fathers envisioned.

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let’s go out on a high note and celebrate some good people who definitely do not fucking suck.

you’ll recall that the world’s richest asshole has been bragging about how amazing he is for providing half a trunk-load of “snacks and beverages” to help an entire city devastated by wildfires.

awesome job, Space Nazi. pat yourself on the back. now pay attention, because here’s how it’s done.

In a heartwarming display of solidarity, Jollibee, the beloved homegrown Filipino fast-food chain, has extended its support to those affected by the recent wildfires in Los Angeles, California.

Demonstrating the true essence of “bayanihan”—the Filipino spirit of communal unity—Jollibee’s team distributed free meals to evacuees and first responders, offering comfort amid crisis.

this is how you help a community.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.