elderly golfer’s brain goes fuckity-bye in batshit West Point speech

Donny can’t be bothered to act like a human being

yesterday, Mad King Donny gave the commencement speech in front of this year’s graduating cadets at West Point. he ended up teaching a master class in Donny Can’t Be Bothered To.

seriously, what is this? apparently, Donny can’t be bothered to dress appropriately for the occasion. look at this clownish fool. he’s wearing a red MAGA hat and a garish pink tie to a solemn military ceremony, for fuck’s sake.

Donny also can’t be bothered to hold his salute for an appropriate length of time — and Donny can’t be bothered to remove his cap during the National Anthem.

Donny’s gonna wear whatever he wants, and Donny’s gonna do whatever he wants. that’s just the way Mad Kings roll — because, as always, fuck you, that’s why. who’s going to tell him he can’t?

Donny also can’t be bothered to find appropriate topics for his speech. let’s skip ahead to the crowning moment of what the fuck — because, well, what the fuck?

“…a trophy wife. it didn’t work out too well. but it doesn’t— and that doesn’t work out too well, I must tell you. a lot of trophy wives. doesn’t work out. but it made him happy for a little while, at least. but he found a new wife. he sold his little boat, he got a big yacht, one of the biggest yachts anywhere in the world. he moved for a time to Monte Carlo, but he lived a good life. and time went by and he got bored, and fifteen years later, the company that he sold to called him, and they said, ‘the housing business is not for us.’ you have to understand, when Bill Levitt was hot, when he had momentum, he’d go to the job sites every night. he’s pick up every loose nail. he’d pick up every scrap off wood. if there was a bolt or a screw laying on the ground he’d pick it up.”

that was Donny’s big takeaway to the graduating cadets: don’t marry a trophy wife. nothing but headaches. they get so mad at you when you fuck a porn star and pay her hush money to keep her mouth shut about it.

the dude Donny was talking about was real estate developer William Levitt. Donny, in fact, has been speechifying about this guy for years. in 2017, he told pretty much the same weird-ass story to a gathering of boy scouts —

I’ll tell you a story that’s very interesting for me when I was young. There was a man named William Levitt — Levittowns, you have some here, you have some in different states. Anybody ever hear of Levittown? (Applause.) And he was a very successful man. He was a homebuilder — became an unbelievable success, and got more and more successful. And he built homes, and at night he’d go to these major sites with teams of people and he’d scour the sites for nails and sawdust and small pieces of wood.

again with the nails and the pieces of wood.

And he sold his company for a tremendous amount of money. At the time especially — this was a long time ago — sold his company for a tremendous amount of money. And he went out and bought a big yacht, and he had a very interesting life. I won’t go any more than that because you’re Boy Scouts, so I’m not going to tell you what he did. Should I tell you? Should I tell you? Oh, you’re Boy Scouts, but you know life. You know life. So — look at you. Who would think this is the Boy Scouts, right?

He got bored with this life of yachts and sailing and all of the things he did in the south of France and other places.

And in the end he failed, and he failed badly. Lost all of his money. He went personally bankrupt, and he was now much older. And I saw him at a cocktail party, and it was very sad because the hottest people in New York were at this party.

what a sad fate, to be an old person at a cocktail party with the hottest people in New York. if only the producers of The Apprentice had chosen Bill Levitt instead of Donald Trump to pluck from the shitpile of failure and peddle to a country of rubes as The Smartest Businessman Who Ever Lived™.

just think how different our world would be now.

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here’s a fun fact about William Levitt that Donny omits from his speeches: he was a racist asshole.

“The tenant agrees not to permit the premises to be used or occupied by any person other than members of the Caucasian race. But the employment and maintenance of other than Caucasian domestic servants shall be permitted.”

that was the “Levittown Racial Exclusion Clause” that was written into every deed a home buyer had to sign.

hey, does that sound like anyone we know?

but at least Bill Levitt allowed the buyers of his houses to employ black maids, so, y’know — he was a progressive!

here’s another fun Levitt fact: he lived in an unspeakably tasteless golden mansion.

holy crap, stick some slot machines in there and you couldn’t tell it from a vulgar Vegas casino — but again, does that sound like anyone we know?

no wonder Donny can’t be bothered to stop talking about this guy.

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back to the West Point speech. here’s another batshit moment.

“the job of the U.S. Armed forces is not to host drag shows, to transform foreign cultures, but to spread democracy to everybody around the world at the point of a gun.”

to do what to who at the point of a what?

hey, here’s a thing that I’ll bet neither Donny nor Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand know about drag queens: they helped win World War II.

During World War II, the military embraced drag shows as a unique form of entertainment and a morale-boosting activity. These officially sanctioned events featured all-male performances with soldiers often dressing in women’s attire. According to author Allan Bérubé, GIs staged these shows everywhere from makeshift platforms to grand theater stages, incorporating popular female impersonation routines of the day.

men dressed as women somehow managed to help win an entire world war. I think we can handle a few of them in today’s military, don’t you?

here’s a thing Donny couldn’t be bothered not to do: brag incessantly about his imaginary accomplishments.

“And I know because I rebuilt that army, and I rebuilt the military,” Trump told the crowd. “We rebuilt it like nobody has ever rebuilt it before in my first term.”

fact check: keep dreaming, you dilapidated old fuck.

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even MAGA was all holy shit, that speech fucking sucked out loud.

“Okay you of all people know that I am 1000% in Donald Trump’s corner but my goodness this has been horrible at West Point it is like a lukewarm press conference instead of a pep rally for these people who are the Ultimate Warriors I don’t know if he is tired or what your thoughts.”

“I like Trump & policies but this West Point speech is terrible. Who wrote this speech.”

“Listening to the President’s address to West Point Graduates. I am very disappointed, giving HIS ‘how good am I’ talk. Not the kind of address to give to a military academy. Do better. Get over your ego.”

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you should really do yourself a favor and go to the White House website, and read the entire transcript of Donny’s batshit West Point speech — oh wait, you can’t.

it seems that the White House can no longer be bothered to post verbatim any of the incoherent drivel that oozes from Dear Leader’s rancid anus-mouth.

The White House has removed official transcripts of President Donald Trump’s public remarks from its government website, replacing them with selected videos of his public appearances.

so now, anyone who wants to check the official government record of Donny’s public utterances can go fuck themselves. isn’t that odd? it’s almost as if Donny’s handlers have something to hide. here’s the bullshit excuse they expect us to swallow:

The idea behind the move is that people will get a fuller and more accurate sense of Trump by watching and listening to him as opposed to reading a transcript, which they may not be inclined to do anyway, the official said. Purging the transcripts and switching to audio and video of Trump’s remarks was intended to create “consistency” across the website, the official said.

yeah, right.

hey, you know who still has their complete body of presidential remarks online, for anyone to read?

Joe Fucking Biden, that’s who.

it’s almost as if Joe — the guy who the press wants us to believe was a senile, drooling mess throughout his entire presidency — doesn’t have anything to hide.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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