elderly golfer shits the bed in batshit CPAC speech

what the fuck is Donny blithering about now?

yesterday, a frail old man in serious cognitive decline managed to slip past his caregivers at the White House Home for the Aged, and wandered across town until he found himself at CPAC.

as he looked around, a dim memory was roused within the old man’s long-gone mind.

‘a stage. Donny like being on stage. Donny give speech.’

meandering to the front of the hall, the old man got up on the stage, and, finding himself in front of a microphone, began to gibber incoherently.

“the word tariff is my favorite word in the dictionary. you know, we were richest, the richest relatively, from — think of this — from 1870 to 1913. that was our richest. because we collected tariffs from foreign countries, that came in and took our jobs. took our money. took our everything, but they charged tariffs, and we had so much money they set up the 1887. think of that, long time ago, 1887 Tariff Commission, it was a commission of very important people, to determine where we should spend all of the tremendous vast wealth that we had. we had so much wealth. wouldn’t it— nice today? because now we give it away to transgender this, transgender that, everybody gets a transgender operation. just wonderful.”

first of all, who the fuck is this ‘we’ who had ‘so much wealth’?

the late-19th-early-20th century was the era of the robber barons. there were maybe a half dozen morbidly wealthy dudes — old white men with names like Vanderbilt and Carnegie and Rockefeller — and everyone else was cordially invited to go fuck themselves, as they fought each other to catch the table scraps thrown by the plutocrats.

so no, ‘we’ didn’t have ‘so much wealth.’ ‘we’ worked in their factories, mills and coal mines, for twelve hours a day, six days a week. so did our children. there were no unions. no healthcare.

but let’s turn to the final part of Donny’s rant. this bit:

‘because now we give it away to transgender this, transgender that, everybody gets a transgender operation.’

what the fuck are you blithering about, you demented homunculus?

no one is ‘giving’ anything ‘away’ to transgendered people. there’s no magical government pipeline where you check a box on a form and voila, here comes free money! that’s a fever-swamp fairy tale — a dangerous, recycled fairy tale that only helps to rouse fear and resentment of a small segment of society that just wants to quietly live their lives in peace.

you know who is getting free money from the government? the Space Nazi.

Musk’s own companies have accepted over $20 billion in taxpayer funds in the form of contracts, tax breaks, and other subsidies.

the ‘transgenders,’ as Donny calls them, are getting jack shit.

this constant demonization of the trans community, is, however having its intended effect: the cultists have been hornswaggled into believing that a tiny fragment of the population is a massive, looming so-called ‘threat.’

have a look at this graphic from a couple of years ago.

YouGov aggregated data from various sources and came to the conclusion that the average American is woefully misinformed about the world around them.

look at the second line of the chart. when asked ‘what percentage of the population is trans,’ the average American answered ‘21 percent.’ the actual number is less than one percent.

just think about how fucktastically delusional that is. twenty-one percent. that’s 21 people out of every 100 — roughly one out of every five.

seriously? one person out of every five is trans?

think about what that would actually mean, if it were true. as you go about your business, shopping at the supermarket, one out of every five people you encounter is trans? is that what anyone is seeing? seriously?

six seconds of critical thinking is all it takes to realize this is nonsense — but the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex has taken reality and given it such a vigorous clownfucking that Americans no longer believe what their own eyes tell them.

this is how you end up with performative dipshits like Handy Oakley and the Scarlet Moron hallucinating trans people in bathrooms.

no, there isn’t some overwhelming invasion of trans people, and they’re most certainly not getting free shit from the government. again, these people just want to live their lives in peace and quiet. can we not grant them that?

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here’s some dumbfuckery perpetrated by the Space Nazi yesterday.

“Consistent with President @realDonaldTrump’s instructions, all federal employees will shortly receive an email requesting to understand what they got done last week,” Musk posted on X, which he owns. “Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation.”

Shortly afterward, federal employees — including some judges, court staff and federal prison officials — received a three-line email with this instruction: “Please reply to this email with approx. 5 bullets of what you accomplished last week and cc your manager.”

if you’ve ever had a shitty boss, you know that this is the kind of crap they pull — emailing you on a Saturday to give you some bullshit task guaranteed to ruin your weekend. and everyone knows that these emails will be used by Elon’s posse of pimply teenage incels as a pretext to indiscriminately fire the shit out of everybody.

but the beauty part is that Elon’s missive has only served to intensify the power struggle that’s been brewing below the surface among the Sewer Clowns.

the State Department was all yeah, no, nice try.

the NOAA and NSA also told Elon to piss straight off.

even Krazee Eyes Kash Patel was all ‘eat a bowl of fuck, Leon,’ telling everyone at the FBI to ignore the email.

“FBI personnel may have received an email from OPM requesting information. The FBI, through the Office of the Director, is in charge of all of our review processes and will conduct reviews in accordance with FBI procedures,” Patel wrote.

by the way, the email address to which all federal employees have been ordered to respond is hr@opm.gov. it would be very wrong if millions of people around the world abused that inbox by flooding it with nonsense — so please don’t do this.

or this.

or this.

or this.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.