elderly golfer gets smacked around by a journalist who won’t take bullshit for an answer

this is how it’s done

there’s a reason Little Donny Fuckface runs to the warm, comforting embrace of Fox News and Newsmax whenever he gets the hankering to get his big, dumb pumpkin face on TV.

these compliant propagandists understand that Donny is a Very Special Boy who gets to say Anything He Wants, without contradiction.

sir! sir! enthuses Sean Hannity, tears of gratitude pooling in his eyes, no one has ever explained with such clarity how migrants are EATING THE DAWGS. sir! how do you do it?

sir! sir! coos Maria Bartiromo, readying the Kleenex box for her inevitable torrent of tears. thank you so much for alerting us to the dangers of the radical Marxist Democrats who want to destroy America.

Donny hates being fact-checked. unfair, so unfair. that’s why he turned tail and ran when 60 Minutes came knocking. it’s why he refused to participate in a second debate with Kamala Harris — even when Fox News offered to host one.

just yesterday, Donny canceled an already-scheduled morning appearance on CNBC’s “Squawk Box” show.

which is why it’s surprising that Chicken Donny actually sat for an interview with Bloomberg News’ John Micklethwait — a no-nonsense British journalist with zero tolerance for clownfuckery.

when Donny shit the bed, Micklethwait was unafraid to point out that you, sir, are rolling around in a pile of feces.

it was awesome to behold — awesome and refreshing.

Micklethwait: “business people, the capital markets, they all like the rule of law. if you look at the events of January 6, 2021, it showed to many people America’s democracy was unruly and violent. with only three weeks to go to the election, will you commit now to respecting and encouraging a peaceful transfer of power?”

Donny: “well, you had a peaceful transfer of power.”

Micklethwait: “you had a peaceful transfer of power compared to Venezuela.”

this is what journalism looks like when a journalist isn’t worried about losing access, or no longer getting invited to the best DC cocktail parties.

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hey, here’s a fun game: based only on Donny’s answer, see if you can determine the question he was asked. ready? go!

Donny: “[huge sigh] I just haven’t gotten over something the Justice Department did yesterday, where Virginia cleaned up its voter rolls, and got rid of thousands and thousands of bad votes, and the Justice Department sued them, that they should be allowed to put those bad votes and illegal votes back in, and let the people vote. so I haven’t, I haven’t gotten— I haven’t gotten over that. a lot of people have seen that. they can’t even believe it.”

Micklethwait: “the question was about Google.”

that’s right, the question was about Google. Donny’s been bellyaching lately about how Google should face prosecution because he imagines that Kamala’s search results are more favorable than his. break them up, he’s been crying. throw them in prison!

so Micklethwait asked him to explain how that would work — but one of the feral rats that live inside Donny’s head chewed through the wrong wire, and out tumbled a boo hoo so unfair! rant about Virginia’s voter rolls.

I’m so old, I remember just last week, when the Washington press corps decided that the biggest fucking scandal in politics right now is that Kamala Harris sometimes finesses her answers to questions — something every politician in history of politics does. the press climbed all over her for that.

ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU WERE ASKED, KAMALA. WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION YOU WERE ASKED?

were you hoping for a sir story from Donny? buckle in, you’re not going to be disappointed.

“I put a 25% tariff — still on — on kitchen cabinets. I saw the guy two or three days ago, he said, ‘I’m the man who told you about kitchen cabinets. you saved my company when you did the tariff, and you saved thousands of jobs, and my company is now doing very well,’ and he started to cry.”

a cabinet maker! I’ll bet this guy is big and strong. I’ll bet his biceps are like fucking canned hams.

I did some googling and learned that yes, Donny did impose a 25% tariff on Chinese cabinetry. here’s how American industry reacted: by importing cabinets from Vietnam.

With the uncertainty with the decision of the US government and the already imposed 25% Trump Tariff, the Stone Resource is producing vanities/wood cabinets in Vietnam (currently tariff free) as well as using our domestic partners.

nice work, Donny — you really brought jobs back to America.

now watch as Donny completely loses his shit.

Micklethwait: “the markets are looking at all these promises — the latest was car loans. you’re flooding the thing with giveaways. I was actually quite kind to you. I used seven trillion for an estimate. the upper estimate is fifteen trillion. the Wall Street Journal is hardly a communist organization. they have criticized you on this as well. you are running up enormous debt.”

Donny: “what does the Wall Street Journal know? they’ve been wrong about everything. so have you, by the way. you’ve been wrong about everything.”

Micklethwait: “you’re trying to turn this into a debate.”

Donny: “you’ve been wrong. you’ve been wrong all your life about this stuff.”

put a fucking sock in it, you petulant child.

hey — speaking of the Wall Street Journal, remember just two days ago when Donny’s liquified brain dripped out of his ears during a quote-unquote town hall? here’s how the WSJ sanewashed the shit out of it.

ohhhhh, a concert. that’s what happened. this is good to know, because the rest of us thought we saw a demented old fool sundown right in the middle of being asked questions and spend thirty-nine minutes swaying to music as a bewildered audience stared in confusion.

it turns out we were wrong. the town hall ended in a concert — as town halls usually do. just a long-standing tradition, y’know, like a fireworks display after a July 4th baseball game.

thanks for clearing that up, Journal. what would we do without the WSJ? we owe them a debt of gratitude. newspaper! newspaper! how do you do it?

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now get ready for the stupidest fucking “news” item you’re going to encounter all day.

why?

what is this stunt going to accomplish? I know that Donny has a huge bug up his ass about proving that Kamala never worked at Mickey D’s — but who the fuck cares, and how the fuck does Donny spending twenty seconds filling a basket with frozen fries and dropping it in a vat boiling oil prove anything?

if Donny gets spattered with hot oil, will alert Secret Service agents wrestle the french fry machine to the ground?

will a big, strong McDonald’s assistant manager, tears of gratitude streaming down his cheeks, his massive biceps glistening in the afternoon sun as it shines though the drive-up window, come up to Donny and say sir! sir! no one has ever pushed an ‘on’ button like you just did. sir! how do you do it?

it’s exactly three weeks to the election, folks. things are only going to get stupider.

folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.