elderly convict humiliates himself in front of world

a smart Black woman proved to be Donny’s worst nightmare

Kamala had one job last night: to burrow right under Donny Convict’s incredibly thin skin and goad him into shitting the bed — and then get him to roll around in it. spoiler alert: she fucking nailed the assignment.

Donny had one job, too: don’t take the bait. how’d he do? don’t even ask. his handlers could have tattooed DON’T SHIT THE BED, YOU DUMB ASSHOLE on the inside of his eyelids, and it wouldn’t have done one lick of good.

Donny should have worn a full-body diaper.

the thing is, it’s not at all hard to goad Donny into saying stupid shit. you see, Donny isn’t just Dear Leader to a horde of idiotic cultists — he’s one of the cultists, too. he’s as much of a credulous dope as his worshipers. he’ll see something on Newsmax that’s totally fabricated, and the dumbfuck will believe every word of it.

that’s exactly how we got this awesome moment.

“in Springfield, THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS. the people that came in, they’re eating the cats. they’re eating— they’re eating the pets of the people that live there. and this is what’s happening in our country.”

look at Kamala. she can’t believe it. she’s pointing at Donny and laughing her head off. her mic was muted, but you can clearly tell she’s saying “oh, come on.”

let’s gif the shit out of Kamala’s reaction, because it’s going to come in handy.

Donny’s brain-dead parroting of the HAITIANS ARE EATING PETS fantasy caused Erick Erickson to melt all the way down on not-twitter.

“YOU STUPID MF’ers JUST GOT TRUMP TO REPEAT YOUR LIE ABOUT THE PETS. CONGRATS ON SETTING THE NEWS STORIES TOMORROW BY LYING SO TRUMP PICKS IT UP AND SAYS STUPID SHIT.”

I love that the replies under Erick’s not-tweet are from cultists who are all what are you talking about, erick son of erick? it’s a true story.

keep pantsing yourselves, you gullible dupes. keep getting Dear Leader to humiliate himself on live tv. awesome job. no notes.

kudos to the ABC moderators, because unlike the compliant co-conspirators on CNN, they actually asked Donny difficult questions. here’s Donny completely fumbling his response to being asked why he imagines that Kamala only recently “became black.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I mean all I can say is I read where she was not black. that she put out, and I’ll say that. and then I read that she was black. and that’s okay. either one was OK with me. what’s up to her.”

got that? it’s not Donny fault that he’s a vile racist. he only knows what he reads. why are you expecting a candidate for president of the United States to think critically?

what’s your reaction to that, Kamala?

but wait a minute, did Donny just say that Kamala “put out”? did this adjudicated rapist actually say that in front of America? what a misogynistic piece of shit.

now feast your ears on the crowning moment of batshit insanity.

“now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison.”

whoa, slow down there, Captain Crazypants. Kamala wants do to what to who in where?

this is what happens when a flustered Donny completely loses the thread. all the weird shit that he fixates on during his hate-rallies — the transgenders, the illegals, the prisons — gets chopped up and swirled around in the rat-infested blender in his head, and out comes nonsense like she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison.

inside Donny’s deteriorating mind, Carlos’s cellmates wave goodbye to him as he goes off to his job in the prison library, where Kamala’s evil surgeons are laying in wait. three days later, Carlos returns to his cellmates. except now he’s Carla. what’s happened to me? he cries. who did this?

so, Kamala, is this true? do you want to do transgender operations on illegal aliens in prison?

we thought not.

oh, and here’s where The New York Times can fuck straight off. look at this pathetic excuse for a fact check.

this needs context? how in the fuck does this need context? here’s your context, NY Times: a demented old nitwit spewed a bunch of crazy shit.

while Donny was setting fire to himself in front of the entire world, the wingnutsphere reacted in the only way they know how: to loudly proclaim that THE WHOLE THING IS RIGGED.

now it can be told: ABC had an insidious plan called Operation Just Let Him Speak and Donny walked right into their trap.

how dare those moderators let Donny talk. it’s so unfair to put him in front of cameras and let him blither one idiotic thing after another. RIGGED! RIGGED!

oh please, Megyn. go back to complaining about Black Santa Clauses. it’s a more-dignified use of your time.

check out Charlie Kirk.

pipe down, you hysterical homunculus. it’s not ABC’s fault that when they asked Donny why he still hasn’t told us how he’ll replace Obamacare, this was his answer:

moderator: “so, just a yes or no, you still do not have a plan.”
Donny: “I have concepts of a plan.”

brilliant. I think tomorrow morning, instead of spending three hours writing, I’ll just type “I have concepts of a post” into the substack editor and click ‘publish.’ I’m sure you loyal readers won’t mind.

but the evening wasn’t all The Adventures of Little Donny Crapthebed. Kamala did more than hold her own — she was fucking spectacular.

listen to her speak passionately in defense of abortion rights.

“Donald Trump hand-selected three members of the United States Supreme Court with the intention that they would undo the protections of Roe v Wade — and they did exactly as he intended. and now, in over twenty states, there are Trump abortion bans which make it criminal for a doctor or nurse to provide healthcare. in one state, it provides prison for life. Trump abortion bans that make no exception even for rape and incest, which — understand what that means. a survivor of a crime, a violation to their body, does not have the right to make a decision about what happens to their body next. that is immoral. and one does not have to abandon their faith, or deeply-held beliefs, to agree that the government — and Donald Trump, certainly — should not be telling a woman what to do with her body.”

fuck yeah.

during the debate, Democrats raised $25 million in small-dollar donations.

meanwhile, Donny did such an excellent job of crapping his pants that immediately after the debate, his Truth Social stock absolutely cratered.

awesome work, fuckface. more like this, please.

also immediately following the debate, Taylor Swift endorsed Kamala.

“I’m voting for @kamalaharris because she fights for the rights and causes I believe need a warrior to champion them. I think she is a steady-handed, gifted leader and I believe we can accomplish so much more in this country if we are led by calm and not chaos.”

as of this morning, almost eight-and-a-half million Swifties have liked the post.

game, set, match — Kamala.