Donny Dumbfuck got played! his new plane is a piece of shit Qatar couldn’t sell

Pimp Force One is a flying nightmare

the thing about Little Donny Fuckface is that he’s every bit as dumb, ignorant and easily swindled as the deranged cultists who worship him. he’s also lazy, greedy, and pathetically susceptible to flattery.

all of this makes him the perfect mark.

which is why it’s unsurprising as fuck to learn that the vulgar flying bordello Donny’s so proud of having been given is a ginormous piece of shit — and Qatar had been trying find a patsy to unload on it on for five entire years.

this Pimp Force One story is so emblematic of this entire hellscape we’re living in — as with All Things Donny, the more we find out, the stupider it gets.

The royals have failed to sell the plane, which was put on the market in 2020, according to an archived listing.

Qatar was desperate to get rid of this jet, and nobody wanted to buy it — because it’s so ungodly huge that it’s too expensive to operate, too expensive to maintain, and too expensive to store.

just having it is a money-losing situation.

but then the royal family saw Donny coming, and a light bulb flashed on over their heads. ‘lets fob it off on this fucking imbecile.’

Qatar is laughing at us right now, because our president is a low-wattage fuckbrain who can by bought off with any shiny object.

it makes no sense for a president to be flying around in a ginormous pimpmobile.

Large ostentatious planes are a security risk, notes Richard Aboulafia, an aerospace consultant with Aerodynamic Advisory. “These things are big targets.”

just try explaining to Donny that having the Biggest Fucking Plane just makes you the biggest fucking target. he’ll look at like you’re the moron. but this plane goes to eleven.

that’s all that Donny wants: a giant flying penis-substitute that all his despot besties will envy.

big plane good. little plane bad.

now Latin America is getting in on the Let’s Take Advantage Of Donny game.

the master of this grift is El Salvador’s Nayib Bukele. all it took to land a nuclear energy deal was to shovel a million and a half bucks into Donny’s pocket. letting Donny use his torture-prison didn’t hurt, either.

El Salvador’s president, Nayib Bukele, has arguably seen the greatest return to his $1.5m lobbying spree. Since February, Bukele has scored an Oval Office meeting with Trump, a nuclear energy deal, US assurance to help expand his country’s notorious mega-prison and an upgraded travel safety rating from the state department.

look how easy is it to curry favor with Donny: just spend lavishly at Motel-a-Lago.

Argentina’s Javier Milei has taken a somewhat different route to becoming Trump’s “favorite president,” spending tens of thousands to dine with Trump at Mar-a-Lago and appearing alongside Elon Musk at February’s conservative CPAC conference in Washington.

and once again, We the People get nothing out of these deals. all that cash is going straight to Donny. well done, MAGA. Dear Leader is getting rich while your social safety net is going fuckity-bye.

but please, tell me again how none of this fuckery is actually corruption. that’s such a cool story.

the entire world is laughing as they eat our lunch, because this president is a preening vainglorious gobshite who can’t resist having his ass kissed — and the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media can’t be roused from their slumbers to do their jobs.

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meanwhile, Donny’s I’m A Total Fucking Embarrassment Tour of the Middle East continues. he here is, schooling the president of the United Arab Emirates on the finer points of the English language.

“we have a term ‘groceries.’ it’s an old term but it means basically what you’re buying, food, it’s a pretty accurate term but it’s an old fashioned sound but groceries are down.”

again with the fucking groceries. Donny’s so pleased with himself for ‘resurrecting’ this common word that every child knows. shut the fuck up already. we get it, you have all the best words.

by the way (according to the Great Google Machine), the Arabic word for ‘groceries’ is مُنْتَجات البِقالةِ — and it predates the English version by about a thousand fucking years.

why is President All The Words bragging about the alleged price of groceries in America? I guarantee the president of the UAE doesn’t give one rusty fuck about Donny’s imaginary accomplishments.

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feast your ears on this big bowl of wut.

“…apprehended as an example, the ISIS terrorists of uh the Albrecht Grob, the one that caused all of the problems in Afghanistan.”

Donny — a tired, sweaty mess in this clip — is apparently referring to Abu Ghraib, the notorious hellhole torture-prison run by George W. Bush’s merry band of psychopaths in Iraq (not Afghanistan).

let’s give Old Mumblemouth the benefit of the doubt, that ‘ghraib’ has many possible pronunciations. but how do you fuck up “abu”? it’s three letters — and Donny’s reading off a teleprompter. it’s right there in front of him: A-B-U. it’s not like he had to dredge it up from memory.

might we get the press interested in reporting on Donny’s rapidly-decaying brain? could we get the worthless scribs to forget for five minutes about how old Joe Biden is (spoiler alert: very), and maybe report on what’s going on in the Oval Office right now?

oh, and that firehose of batshittery that get vomited out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth on a daily basis? the White House is hiding it.

If you’re interested in finding Donald Trump’s precise words as he lied about his failed coup attempt in his Jan. 20 remarks at the U.S. Capitol soon after his inaugural speech, good luck with that.

Same with his Feb. 12 thoughts in the Oval Office on how magnetism, in his view “a new theory,” doesn’t work on the aircraft carrier Gerald Ford.

Donny’s handlers are deep-sixing evidence of the sitting president’s continuing cognitive collapse. you’d think that maybe someone in the media would want to look into this.

hello? is anyone out there?

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and now for your daily dose of what in the actual fuck?

here’s the heartwarming story of Glen Rogers, a scumbag who murdered the shit out of a bunch of women and got caught.

yesterday, as he was strapped to a gurney in Florida State Prison, awaiting execution by lethal injection, he uttered his final words.

“President Trump, keep making America great. I’m ready to go.”

let’s say it all together: it’s a fucking cult.

I hope Glen donated his brain, because medical science needs to figure this shit out, pronto.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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