Donald Trump is FUCKING INDICTED

boys and girls, can you spell fuuuuuuuucked?

the sun is shining a little brighter this morning. the birds are singing sweeter. the air smells fresher.

Donald Trump has been fucking indicted.

for stealing documents and hiding them, moving them, lying about returning them, sorting through them, showing them off to randos, and on top of it all, blowing off a subpoena.

and — holy fucking shit — we now have Trump on tape admitting that he couldn’t declassify them.

“‘As president, I could have declassified, but now I can’t,’ Trump says, according to the transcript.”

boys and girls, can you spell fuuuuuuuucked?

the indictment remains under seal until Trump surrenders himself to authorities Tuesday morning (oh my god I can’t believe I just got to type that sentence), but here’s what we know so far:

“A lawyer for Mr. Trump, Jim Trusty, told CNN on Thursday night that the former president’s legal team had not been shown the indictment itself but that the court summons gave some details on the charges. He mentioned alleged Espionage Act violations, false-statement charges and ‘several obstruction-based’ charges, including offenses under Section 1512, which criminalizes witness tampering or other means of obstructing an official effort.”

espionage, ladies and gentlemen. Jack Smith, the guy who convicts war criminals in The Hague, is not fucking around here.

“do I look like someone who fucks around here?”

naturally, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex, as if on cue, melted straight the fuck down.

Hawley, my dude, you literally shouted LOCK HER UP at your rallys.

“the walls are closing in.” oh Lauren, you gun-worshipping bubblehead moron. do you ever listen to yourself?

Kevin, did Marjorie Sporkytoes give you permission to tweet that?

Ted Cruz is a Harvard-educated lawyer. he knows that he’s completely full of shit here. but he also knows that his voters are too fucking dumb to know this — or care.

all these fuckheads haven’t even seen the evidence, yet they’re carrying water for an accused spy.

listen up, dipshits:

Donald Trump was not indicted by Joe Biden.

Donald Trump was not indicted by Merrick Garland.

Donald Trump was not indicted by the Department of Justice.

Donald Trump was indicted by a grand jury made up of ordinary Americans, like you or me, who listened to the witnesses, saw the evidence, and then determined that there’s probable cause that Donald Trump committed crimes.

“but her emailsssssssssssa”

Donald Trump’s living nightmare is far from over. there’s still Jack Smith’s Jan 6th investigation. and don’t forget about Fani Willis down in Georgia.

---

have a great weekend, everyone. because Donald Trump is fucking indicted.