goddammit, I gave that hat away a few weeks ago. it was frayed and a little threadbare and I had completely forgotten that Ms. Spouse had worn it on our wedding day, else I have kept it for sentimental reasons. oh well, c'est la vie
Jeff, I believe that hat was meant to go on into the world. I agree with Dr J's comment. Just as Ms. Spouse is newly experiencing eternity on an astral plain, so her hat is embarking on a new journey. I would think she is pleased you set it upon it's way and she is appreciating seeing it loved.
I bet you have enough memento mori to make you start weeping at every turn, bud. It hasn't been very long. When a spouse dies you lose more than half of yourself. They're your partner and shared memory bank. You can see why people get obsessed with spiritualists and seances. Any contact is welcome, any comfort.
My husband passed about 4 1/2 years ago and instead of feeling lighter and more at peace, I seem to be getting sadder and sadder. Your comment really struck me because just recently I've been thinking about exactly what you said – how I used to feel sorry for people who were so obsessed with their loved ones that they would go to a séance and probably get taken advantage of (although I do believe it's possible for the departed to contact us because I've had experiences.), but now I'm understanding why they would feel that way and want to do it. Anyway, last night I was also realizing, and not for the first time, that when my sweet Bob passed, part of me went with him and it's not coming back. I have to accept that. I'm not quite sure what I want to do with the rest of my life because everything is altered, including me. I think it was Edna St. Vincent Millais who said, "The presence of your absence is everywhere." (She actually said "she" instead of "your" because she was talking about her mother.) Yes! The only comfort I can offer is that I fully believe we will be with our loved ones again and not to go all otherworldly on you, but I was very lucky after my mother and some other relatives passed to be able to meet with them again in a place I had certainly never been. (Even my cat was there! Not that I was surprised.) Anyway, love lasts forever and I personally believe our souls do as well. In the meantime, I hope you can find some people to share with who hopefully won't tell you to move on or to let go. The grief doesn't exactly lessen, but I do feel that the way we carry it changes. Take care of yourself. It's difficult, I know. 💞😪
Laurie - Absolutely - there is no timeline to grief. For every one of us it's going to be different AND it's also going to depend on what you believe comes after (if anything) and what the circumstances were and if one feels things were left unsaid. That's all so personal and SO hard to share with others. I think you've done an admirable job sharing your own personal grief here - as has Jeff in letting us into his own story of his life with Claudia. She was (still is) his muse and I think help all of us seeing these wonderful photos of them both, clearly sharing such love. AND he still manages to keep his amazing sense of humour, even through his pain. I'm so sorry for your loss and how difficult it's proving to be for you.
Thank you so much. There are so many different kinds of losses and so many different kinds of grief. It's wonderful to love so deeply, but the grief is proportional to the love. I know we can't compare our experiences to other people's because everyone is different, but I think I'm struggling so much because I'm very isolated and I have no other family members except my older sister who unfortunately has pretty severe Alzheimer's and also lupus. Also, I'm living in a part of the country where I didn't grow up, so I think if I relocate and go back home where my friends are I will have a change of mood. But of course nothing can fill the space where my other half used to be. Thanks again for your kind comment. I love this community – it makes me feel less alone and not quite so much like everyone has lost their minds! And I admire Jeff as well.Hard to believe what has happened to this country. 😢💞
I WAS going to suggest that you wait a wee bit - but then reread just how long it's been, so IF that's something you're beginning to feel deeply about (returning to where you grew up), really think all of that through: what it'll mean, all of the repercussion...connecting with friends from back there, etc. Most of the 'grief-counsellors' tend to suggest that one make NO major life decisions within the first year or so, but you're feeling 'something' perhaps pushing you? MY thoughts might be to really talk first with those friends online or by phone. You've already seen how writing can help. Feel them out. Moving back could also help you sort through so much of the stuff we hang onto and feeling isolated as you are is assuredly piling on the pain and loss. I'd SO hate that kind of isolation unless it was by choice. I'm one who's never minded being alone (as long as my pets are around me) but when my lifelong best friend moved to Texas (from NY) since her daughter had been moved down there by her new husband, and everyone around here either passed or moved away - I wondered IF we should move to where she now lived. Spent a lot of time looking at houses on Zillow. We've called each other sisters forever. Suddenly, her husband let me know (months after he should've) that she has dementia (?) something I find difficult to accept since our previous conversation was 6 hours long (not all that unusual for us) and I was ready to call again. The shock is still deeply painful since, according to him, that's it. I'll have no more contact with her. 'She' broke all the phones (he says) and I can only use his phone - which is conveniently with him at the school where he teaches some classes. When I have managed to get through, the voicemail is always full. I should add that she'd been telling me things about his behaviour I believed since I knew him quite well. What does one do? MY husband shrugged it off as an 'oh well', not at all getting my despair and pain. I miss her so much, although our circumstances are quite different. Take care - of yourself, first and foremost.
Wow, first of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. That would make me very uncomfortable. It sounds odd. I would think you would know talking with someone for six hours whether or not they had dementia. That's a long way to travel, but is there any way you could go check on her to make sure she's OK? I hope you don't lose her. Those kind of relationships are rare and valuable.
I've actually known that I wanted to go back home for years. My husband and I were planning on going, but then my mom got sick with dementia and I had to stay here for her and then I got chronic fatigue syndrome and was down for a long time and then Bob got sick. I have connected with several friends back home and my best friend there, who I've been best friends with for almost 60 years, which sounds impossible, came to visit me a year after Bob passed away. She's the kind of friend that you can be away from for 30 years and then when we see each other, it's as if no time it all has passed. I'm from Oregon, but I'm in Kansas City. I moved here intending to only stay two years, but things happened. I prefer it back home. It's just difficult because I don't want to leave my sister. But she always tells me to go home and put myself first. And thank you for saying that as well. It's kind of like Sophie's choice. But as you pointed out isolation isn't good for people - I know I would be much happier back home.
I have two cousins who retired to Texas and they keep telling me I should move there, but I prefer the West Coast. I really hope you get to reconnect with your friend somehow, or at least find out what's really going on. Even if she has dementia, she should be able to talk to you. I wonder if there's any department of aging or anything in that area you could call. Sounds fishy to me.
Brilliantly said! My husband‘s been gone for 18 years now and I still have some things I am stubbornly hanging onto. I have given tools to Habitat for Humanity, his leather coat to a homeless drifter. I still have his hat that he wore on a summer day when our daughter took our picture on a beautiful nature trail. It seems like pieces of them we cling on to for the fear of them completely disappearing from us..our memories
nah. I donated her clothes (after giving our daughter first dibs, and Ms Spouse's friends second dibs) to a shelter for women. I'm sure its found a new and deserving owner by now
Hold onto it as long as you need, even forever. I have some of my mom's jewelry (she died this past November), and I don't even *wear* jewelry that often except my own wedding band. But I will hold onto it unless one of my sons has a daughter, and then I'll pass it along to my granddaughter/s.
My mom died over 30 years ago. I still have a few pieces of her clothing and a few pieces of jewelry. I have a daughter and a 5 year old granddaughter. My husband died this past August. I gave our granddaughter his glasses and a jacked I had made him. She was very happy. They keep him close.
I have my grandmother's antique diamond watch given to her by my grandfather who died long before I was born - diamonds surrounding the face, diamond band, platinum clasp...I never wear it because I'm afraid I'll lose it, so I keep it in the safe and take it out every once in a while and hold it. Still love her to pieces.
My Dad died in 2016, and I kept a LOT of his things, but as time went on, I was able to let go most of it. I kept his driver's license, his pilot's license, his sunglasses...small things that were important and/or personal to him. Books, etc., went to donations after a while.
I'm SO sorry you're going through this too. Don't rush your grieving...it'll happen as it's supposed to. I believe my husband will have MY 'stuff' out of the house in a week or less - especially my books, notebooks, anything I write (since he doesn't read). lol He's becoming so tetchy of late. NOT the least bit sentimental - it took
far too long for me to recognize that fact. So, YOU have to allow yourself to feel what you feel, enjoy going through the good days when they come - realize there will be more of those but you can't rush them. Allow yourself to heal. You are NOT being disloyal when you smile or even laugh at something you find funny. Being here is in itself very healing. We understand and care. Hugs.
I am 76 years old and still have most of my mother's jewelry. She died at age 39 in 1962. The most important thing I kept was her leather welding jacket. The men were fighting in WWII, so the women were working at home, including welding. My mom's name was Carmel Ann. I still think of her frequently, actually more now than ever.
Let Katie decide about everything except her wedding ring. That you keep for sure. It goes with YOU. If Katie has - or plans to have? kids,
then she might want to pass some things down/on. Up to YOU and her. I made a list of those pieces of mine I felt should go to specific people. I don't have really expensive jewelry except a couple of things I was given by my father-in-law from HIS mother when his own daughter decided they were too 'big' and 'gaudy' for her (they're neither).. marcasite silver with blue topaz...stunning ring and bar pin - so he didn't try to inveigle her, immediately asked me if I wanted his mother's pieces. They're SO gorgeous - I wore them all the time, even to work - they went with everything and got so many compliments. Am still wearing the ring and still get compliments while I only occasionally wear the pin for fear of losing it. My sister-in-law's a bit of a fool, lol. Over the years hubby got me more pieces (earrrings, bracelets, watches) to match those 2 so it's become a 'collection'. I want my niece to have them. My lovely next-door Detective 'adopted daughter'/friend will get more since I have some nice pearls (I always wore pearls too) and all kinds of other 'stuff'. You might want to think of close friends who'd really love wearing specific pieces of hers? BUT it's entirely what you feel. Trust your instincts. Go with your gut. It's still much too early to make these decisions. You could make a list and shelve it for now.
I was the older daughter, so my mom left me her wedding ring. It was actually more in the style of a multi-stoned cocktail ring.
When my 2nd husband and I got engaged, I thought I'd just want to have a simple gold band . . . but reconsidered when I saw the sad look on Dan's face. So instead we chose a band with a few small side diamonds and we put mom's main diamond in the middle. And I proudly announced to everyone that my new husband-to-be had just bought a nice house for my mom.
And then I had the diamond from my first wedding ring inserted into the center of mom's wedding ring and gave that to my younger sister. Because that ring, which mom wore all the time, was such a part of her. I wanted my sister to have a piece of that.
And, BTW, I don't wear rings very often, but now when Dan and I go out and he's wearing his wedding band, I put on the one I now refer to as ROCKY!
My partner has all his wife's jewelry as well. My husband did not have much but I kept his as well. The clothes from both our spouses went to shelters as well. I kept a few of his t shirts that I wear now and then as sleep shirts.
After 8 years, I am still wearing my sweetheart’s jeans and flannel shirts. Now I am retired I can dress like the retired wildlife biologist and park ranger he was. The jeans are wicked sturdy. And they are comforting. I can’t wear his hats, unfortunately. I should give those away.
I just have to poke my nose into this a wee bit: Older and used or not Hawaiian shirts are actually VERY collectible - especially to musicians (harmonica players I know love them since they're worn over the belts where they store their harmonicas onstage). They can be worth a LOT so just in case you end up needing money - they could be a good source if there're more than a few. Otherwise I love the idea of a quilt.
I donated my late husband's clothing to Disabled American Veterans since he was a veteran himself. I hope your donations give someone less fortunate joy in their life as I hoped my donations did for veterans. Today would've been my beloved's 72nd birthday.
On my deceased parents' birthdays I make it a point to have their favorite desserts; butter pecan ice cream for dad, strawberry shortcake (under a mountain of whipped cream) for mom.
The things one does in the first weeks of grief…. Buttttt your daughter and her friends had the chance to fish out something memorable and the women’s shelter is a great place for the rest to be.
I give lots of usable clothing and home things to the Women's Center for Advancement here in Omaha. It helps homeless women and families. and I get to clear out my apartment, a win-win.
Absolutely love the wedding picture! Always liked the current selfie, but love seeing the wedding picture! Thanks for sharing it. You made my Sunday morning! 💙
You both had awesome hair. Your whole lives. Which is quite unusual. You needed it to cover your awesome brains. That’s my story, anyway. 💚 Keep the pictures coming when you can. We love ‘em!
Every time I think about your loss, it makes me feel so sad and grateful. Sad because too soon, too sudden. Grateful to witness through your writing a love to behold and celebrate. Finally, it is a huge relief to know you have a daughter sharing this journey with you.
Awww. Sweet early picture. The age of innocence and hair with identifiable color in it. Those are what will keep you going during those days that seemingly drag so use them and remember the good times. You two sparkled for a long time and it showed. Be gentle with yourself.
Someone somewhere will LOVE that hat and Ms Spouse will be smiling at its new life! Good on you for reminding us about letting go (deliberately or not) of the Things while cherishing the energy that remains in our hearts and photos and (hopefully) our memories!
I work with seniors and their families to move to a senior community or downsize. The hardest part about the transition is their things. They don't want to give up their things because of the memories they invoke. I try to gently remind them that the memories are in their hearts and in their heads. It is not the physical thing that holds the memory. By donating the items, someone else gets to create new memories
Me first! I have 49 years of 'stuff' accumulated here AND hubby just had to bring HIS Dad's collection of old tools and 'stuff' to stick in our single garage when HE passed (after living out here a few years) AND my mother used to shop in thrift shops, buy tons of junk, split it into 3 big boxes which us 3 siblings would find on our doorsteps getting home from work. Perhaps one item would be useful - the rest just garbage. Would it be tossed? NO, hubby would decide it needed to be 'gone through when we have time' so up into the attic it went. Now he's far too frail to get those boxes back down a ladder. This entire HOUSE is full of tossable 'stuff' which needs going through, lolol. Problem is - those who advertise they 'remove junk' don't differentiate, they just grab everything or I'd have hired them already.
Over the years, we inherited a lot of stuff from our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. When it was time to downsize, it was really difficult to get rid of things. There are two really helpful books, written by a woman who calls herself “Messie Condo” (a spoof on Marie Kondo’s “Tidy Up”). If you’re just trying to declutter, you should read “Tidy the Fuck Up.” If you’re getting older (like we are) and want to spare your loved ones the headache and devastation of dealing with the mounds of your belongings after you’re gone, I recommend “Nobody Wants Your Shit.” Both books are hilarious and offer some much needed tough love when it comes to parting with your (and everyone else’s) things!
I believe that hats have a way of finding new owners. How often do you see a hat blow off of someone's head and they chase it down the street, never able to catch it? That hat is looking for a new owner. Unless it's a MAGA hat, then it's hiding until it can made into something else.
I just updated this post, because at the exact same time I was clicking the 'publish' button, Soybean Scott Bessent was whining to Maria Bartiromo about how Spirit Airlines was Joe Biden's fault.
1. Joe Biden will be remembered for getting us out of a pandemic and getting our economy back on track. Donny will remembered for fucking everything up.
2. Your wedding pic is beautiful as is the picture of you two growing gray together.
THIS! How do so few people remember that Joe INHERITED the fucking AWFUL economy from the same orange fuckwit - AND insulted/disparaged our troops which is the very reason he decided to run for President? BECAUSE frump was so fucking dim-witted and terrible! He WON that election despite frump's incessant whining, trying to convince his magat cultists that he'd really not lost to that 'old man' - well now HE'S the old, rotting man (er, baby) who needs to go have someone build his mausoleum somewhere far, far away from Arlington else we really WILL have millions lined up to piss on his fat dead head.
The lame media has something to do with why so few people remember the economic mess Uncle Joe walked into and how he pulled us out of it. Even before the now state run media sold out and capitulated to a fascist bully there was always a double standard for Dems and the GOP. I remember Biden for all of the positive things he did for the country and am especially grateful to him for putting an out of pocket cap on drug costs under Medicare! I'm on a # of expensive meds and once i've reached the cap ( sadly by June), they're covered 100% for the rest of the year.
They have a lot to do with it. So many damn articles about people's vibes and so few about how fast Biden turned things around and made the economy better for the 99%.
Funny how that works, isn't it? AND somehow their superman powers extend not only throughout their own terms but far past the next president's (or in this case presiDUNCE) terms as well. The ridiculousness of magats buying into 'it's all Obama's fault' then morphing that into: 'it's all Biden's fault' and BELIEVING that bullshit is so far beyond my ken I SCREAM at my own teevee whenever I hear or see anyone parroting the same stupidity..
As if these ass clowns couldn’t have gotten Spirit and JetBlue to a meeting to resurrect their merger. That mean old free-market loving and Reagan appointed judge who stopped it the first time would be kept out if the way. Those pesky antitrust laws, consumer groups? Ignored. Libertarians like some of what Donny does, but this government buying into companies ain’t one of them.
Remember when Mitt Romney was urging the administration and Congress to let Detroit auto industry fail ---and then Obama saved it with loans ? And the loans were paid back ahead of schedule ?
And The Republicans whined and complained about how the government shouldn’t pick winners and losers. Despite the fact that GM and Chrysler failing would have cost hundreds of thousands of jobs in the auto industry alone. Some opponents said it wouldn’t matter because the U.S. operations of foreign automakers would pick up the slack. That crackpipe dream fails to take the collapse of the automotive supply chain into account. The lack of a few components can bring manufacturing to a halt. The timeframe for ramping up production by suppliers and surviving automakers would have been about two years minimum.
Oh my god the whining and whining. And now Trump's sons are getting contracts, he toyed with the idea of taking over Spirit airlines, etc, and the outrage machine has nothing to say about it.
Not a peep or whimper or “deeply concerned” from the GOP. Of course, Holy Mike sent the House on vacation for two weeks. This time because I think he’s worried if he keeps it in session he’ll bet tossed from the speaker’s chair.
I supposed they would prefer that Jet Blue go under, which may have been the case if they succeeded in buying Spirit. Then they'd be blaming Biden for allowing that to happen.
I would expect nothing less from these clowns than to assume the merger would have worked out perfectly. And if Trump is such a great deal maker, then why didn’t they have another offer that would have satisfied the Spirit bondholders, who turned the first one down? These morons can’t be gone soon enough.
There ain’t much about the Libertarian Party and its adherents that I find to be anything more than speculative. “If we just don’t have any rules, the people who don’t follow them won’t succeed because the market won’t let them.” Rubbish.
Way back in the late 1980s, I worked for the largest Libertarian paper in the country, the Orange County Register. While the newsroom had shed the big L bent in its language and coverage, there still seemed a habit of covering the hardships of rich people. One writer who left wrote a piece for the alt weekly in which he summed up Libertarianism: I got mine, so fuck off.
I find it interesting that MAGA is starting to include Steve Buttigieg in blaming things on. He is a star rising in poles as a leading candidate for President. It will only get worse but Steve is very good at hitting back with actual facts. He is a very smart person, with class.
You’re Canadian - you get a pass. I’M a New Yorker and continually misspell his surname. Yikes, Pete, couldn’t you have changed it to something easier (a/la jd and all of HIS alternates?) ;) Yes…they’ve been lumping Pete in with President Biden as ‘whom to blame for things’. The things don’t have to be real OR exist on our Planet, but that’s what sets us and the magat cultists apart - WE tend to deal with reality.
Sorry, early in this string I did apologize for Using the wrong first name. I really like Pete and he is so well spoken, knows his stuff, and has class when debating an issue.
And that SMIRK of his just makes me want to slap it off his face - every. single. time! I wouldn't - I'm non-violent, but boy--do I wish. AND nd if frump were standing right behind him it could be a two-fer. Indict me for THAT, lol. Has anyone thought perhaps the shell numbers on the beach were put there by a couple of newlyweds - or new home-owners? I'd fall down laughing if Comey had factual proof of this just waiting to play this as HIS 'trump' card. ;)
He was simultaneously a doddering old fool unable to manage the presidency *and* a master villain with his own skull-shaped island. Such was his genius. Dark Brandon rides.
Old Joe is tending to grandchildren and laughing his ass off right now.
I SO hope you're right, George. I want him to enjoy his life so much and not be in any kind of pain from his cancer. I just LOVED his 'Dark Brandon' with the sunglasses and that brilliant smile. I think that look, more than anything else drove the orange fuckwit so nuts he couldn't figure out just HOW to insult him when Joe simply ignored his dumbfuckery and the whole world could see the jealousy seeping from that big bag of rotting resentment.
oh. no worries - was just making a wee (bad) joke. I've gotten that ' Beam me up Scotty' for SO many years I once got a little plaque to keep on my kitchen windowsill with 'Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here'. THAT fell flat since hubby thought it was referring to him, lol (HE'S called me Scotty ever since we met). It's another reason I feel fairly 'safe' posting here - almost no one thinks of or knows me as 'Elizabeth' with the exception of my harmonica-playing friends. I was just teasing you. Your post WAS most apropos.
Oh my Lord that wedding picture. You two were so in love, and stayed so in love. What wonderful emotions emanate from both those photos and both of you.
Oh man that is so sweet. I like to think of what Chief Seattle said. "There is no death. Only a change of worlds." I see my dad all the time, so I tend to believe this.
First time around it was on Obama…now it’s “sleepy” Joe who NEVER fell asleep during a Cabinet meeting…I love Joe, have for 50+ years and also supported him over all those years! The bloated Yam cannot own anything he’s done and will always blame everyone else but himself, people with a brain KNOW it’s not Joe…and where the blame rightfully belongs!
Because they KNOW we will win in a landslide, they will not let November happen. I’m going to pretend it will though while stocking my pad with everything. I’m now officially a hoarder of water and dry goods, and keeping a bullhorn and several squirt guns nearby.
Trump no longer has anyone to check his worst impulses, not even the 140-character limit and the fact his best drawing was a pre-pubescent girl on his rape-buddy Jeff's birthday card. Somebody showed him how AI works (probably took ten tries to get his dim rotten brain to understand the concept of describing something to his phone) and now he shits in his gold recliner watching fox news and dipping his Big Mac in ketchup while fat-fingering shitty images that get treated as policy.
Welcome to the Blame Joe Biden Cinematic Universe, where a discount airline going belly-up gets retconned into Joe’s fault by some former reality-show background extra with a job title that sounds like it was made up by an OpenClaw HR agent.
Spirit implodes (that's what airlines do right? Remembers Braniff?) when Trump closed the Strait of Hormuz he took a welding torch to the birthday candle. Now the entire airline industry has a fuel bill written in blood and we get Sean “I Was On TV Once” Duffy, blinking into the lights and insisting this is all on Joe and Pete, as if Buttigieg has been sneaking into Mar-a-Lago at night to personally unscrew the bolts on every Spirit airframe. He's GAY too!
Iran is more powerful than ever. They have complete control over the Strait no matter how much Trump rage-tweets. The naval blockade of Iran starves the global oil supply, but to Trump it's “a very friendly blockade,” because Vlad's oligarch friends can cruise their megayachts through there. Maybe the Navy’s out there handing chocolates and scented candles to tankers they’re boarding at gunpoint? Sounds like the Hilton to me.
The odious Wall Street Journal editorial page applauds him for “staying the course” as if he’s anything other than a malfunctioning Roomba in bronzer. Worse than that, because he's jacked up on Adderall and steroids while declaring hostilities over and simultaneously threatening to start bombing again “if they misbehave."
And don't forget that 30% of polled Americans think this is a good job. As Carlin said, "think of dumb the average person is and realize half of them are dumber than THAT."
Hiaasen is king when it comes to the antics of Floridians, corrupt politicians and total hypocrisy. Love him—thanks for the recommendation of Squeeze Me!
Wow - your wedding photo made my day. 💖 Please continue to share with us when the impulse grabs you. Also, FUCK all of these people and the media that amplifies them. Every single day is like needles in the brain. 🧠 🔨
My heartfelt condolences to you, Jeff, on such a profound loss. There might be a tiny glimmer of light, perhaps, in the knowledge of how much fun and laughter you have gifted to all of us. It's my birthday today, and as is always the case these days, I woke up to more bad news of our degenerate president and all his groveling sycophants. But then your column appeared, and I am now able to start my day with a smile and a chuckle!
goddammit, I gave that hat away a few weeks ago. it was frayed and a little threadbare and I had completely forgotten that Ms. Spouse had worn it on our wedding day, else I have kept it for sentimental reasons. oh well, c'est la vie
Someone else is probably having a good time wearing it with Ms. Spouse’s spirit.. ❤️
Well said💜
Jeff, I believe that hat was meant to go on into the world. I agree with Dr J's comment. Just as Ms. Spouse is newly experiencing eternity on an astral plain, so her hat is embarking on a new journey. I would think she is pleased you set it upon it's way and she is appreciating seeing it loved.
You said that perfectly Miselle .
I bet you have enough memento mori to make you start weeping at every turn, bud. It hasn't been very long. When a spouse dies you lose more than half of yourself. They're your partner and shared memory bank. You can see why people get obsessed with spiritualists and seances. Any contact is welcome, any comfort.
Yes I agree ☝️- grieving is not on a time table that’s for sure‼️
Nope.
My husband passed about 4 1/2 years ago and instead of feeling lighter and more at peace, I seem to be getting sadder and sadder. Your comment really struck me because just recently I've been thinking about exactly what you said – how I used to feel sorry for people who were so obsessed with their loved ones that they would go to a séance and probably get taken advantage of (although I do believe it's possible for the departed to contact us because I've had experiences.), but now I'm understanding why they would feel that way and want to do it. Anyway, last night I was also realizing, and not for the first time, that when my sweet Bob passed, part of me went with him and it's not coming back. I have to accept that. I'm not quite sure what I want to do with the rest of my life because everything is altered, including me. I think it was Edna St. Vincent Millais who said, "The presence of your absence is everywhere." (She actually said "she" instead of "your" because she was talking about her mother.) Yes! The only comfort I can offer is that I fully believe we will be with our loved ones again and not to go all otherworldly on you, but I was very lucky after my mother and some other relatives passed to be able to meet with them again in a place I had certainly never been. (Even my cat was there! Not that I was surprised.) Anyway, love lasts forever and I personally believe our souls do as well. In the meantime, I hope you can find some people to share with who hopefully won't tell you to move on or to let go. The grief doesn't exactly lessen, but I do feel that the way we carry it changes. Take care of yourself. It's difficult, I know. 💞😪
Laurie - Absolutely - there is no timeline to grief. For every one of us it's going to be different AND it's also going to depend on what you believe comes after (if anything) and what the circumstances were and if one feels things were left unsaid. That's all so personal and SO hard to share with others. I think you've done an admirable job sharing your own personal grief here - as has Jeff in letting us into his own story of his life with Claudia. She was (still is) his muse and I think help all of us seeing these wonderful photos of them both, clearly sharing such love. AND he still manages to keep his amazing sense of humour, even through his pain. I'm so sorry for your loss and how difficult it's proving to be for you.
Thank you so much. There are so many different kinds of losses and so many different kinds of grief. It's wonderful to love so deeply, but the grief is proportional to the love. I know we can't compare our experiences to other people's because everyone is different, but I think I'm struggling so much because I'm very isolated and I have no other family members except my older sister who unfortunately has pretty severe Alzheimer's and also lupus. Also, I'm living in a part of the country where I didn't grow up, so I think if I relocate and go back home where my friends are I will have a change of mood. But of course nothing can fill the space where my other half used to be. Thanks again for your kind comment. I love this community – it makes me feel less alone and not quite so much like everyone has lost their minds! And I admire Jeff as well.Hard to believe what has happened to this country. 😢💞
I WAS going to suggest that you wait a wee bit - but then reread just how long it's been, so IF that's something you're beginning to feel deeply about (returning to where you grew up), really think all of that through: what it'll mean, all of the repercussion...connecting with friends from back there, etc. Most of the 'grief-counsellors' tend to suggest that one make NO major life decisions within the first year or so, but you're feeling 'something' perhaps pushing you? MY thoughts might be to really talk first with those friends online or by phone. You've already seen how writing can help. Feel them out. Moving back could also help you sort through so much of the stuff we hang onto and feeling isolated as you are is assuredly piling on the pain and loss. I'd SO hate that kind of isolation unless it was by choice. I'm one who's never minded being alone (as long as my pets are around me) but when my lifelong best friend moved to Texas (from NY) since her daughter had been moved down there by her new husband, and everyone around here either passed or moved away - I wondered IF we should move to where she now lived. Spent a lot of time looking at houses on Zillow. We've called each other sisters forever. Suddenly, her husband let me know (months after he should've) that she has dementia (?) something I find difficult to accept since our previous conversation was 6 hours long (not all that unusual for us) and I was ready to call again. The shock is still deeply painful since, according to him, that's it. I'll have no more contact with her. 'She' broke all the phones (he says) and I can only use his phone - which is conveniently with him at the school where he teaches some classes. When I have managed to get through, the voicemail is always full. I should add that she'd been telling me things about his behaviour I believed since I knew him quite well. What does one do? MY husband shrugged it off as an 'oh well', not at all getting my despair and pain. I miss her so much, although our circumstances are quite different. Take care - of yourself, first and foremost.
Wow, first of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. That would make me very uncomfortable. It sounds odd. I would think you would know talking with someone for six hours whether or not they had dementia. That's a long way to travel, but is there any way you could go check on her to make sure she's OK? I hope you don't lose her. Those kind of relationships are rare and valuable.
I've actually known that I wanted to go back home for years. My husband and I were planning on going, but then my mom got sick with dementia and I had to stay here for her and then I got chronic fatigue syndrome and was down for a long time and then Bob got sick. I have connected with several friends back home and my best friend there, who I've been best friends with for almost 60 years, which sounds impossible, came to visit me a year after Bob passed away. She's the kind of friend that you can be away from for 30 years and then when we see each other, it's as if no time it all has passed. I'm from Oregon, but I'm in Kansas City. I moved here intending to only stay two years, but things happened. I prefer it back home. It's just difficult because I don't want to leave my sister. But she always tells me to go home and put myself first. And thank you for saying that as well. It's kind of like Sophie's choice. But as you pointed out isolation isn't good for people - I know I would be much happier back home.
I have two cousins who retired to Texas and they keep telling me I should move there, but I prefer the West Coast. I really hope you get to reconnect with your friend somehow, or at least find out what's really going on. Even if she has dementia, she should be able to talk to you. I wonder if there's any department of aging or anything in that area you could call. Sounds fishy to me.
Thanks for your comment and your support! 💞
Brilliantly said! My husband‘s been gone for 18 years now and I still have some things I am stubbornly hanging onto. I have given tools to Habitat for Humanity, his leather coat to a homeless drifter. I still have his hat that he wore on a summer day when our daughter took our picture on a beautiful nature trail. It seems like pieces of them we cling on to for the fear of them completely disappearing from us..our memories
Can you get it back somehow?
nah. I donated her clothes (after giving our daughter first dibs, and Ms Spouse's friends second dibs) to a shelter for women. I'm sure its found a new and deserving owner by now
That shelter for women needed your donation. You did a good thing; hard, but good.
PS - You were pretty good-looking in that wedding photo. Claudia was beautiful, but you had it goin' on, too.
I said the same thing to my husband- Jeff was wicked handsome- Claudia was simply beautiful ♥️♥️
He was a hottie. Still is for an old guy. I'm not so bad for an old girl, meself. LOL.
Agreed, Leigh. They both looked fabulous 🎊
Exactly. Same with My Beloved's stuff.
Difficult to give away, hoping someone gets good vibes.
I still have all her jewelry. I can't bring myself to part with it yet
There's no need to. Keep them if it comforts you to do so.
Hold onto it as long as you need, even forever. I have some of my mom's jewelry (she died this past November), and I don't even *wear* jewelry that often except my own wedding band. But I will hold onto it unless one of my sons has a daughter, and then I'll pass it along to my granddaughter/s.
My mom died over 30 years ago. I still have a few pieces of her clothing and a few pieces of jewelry. I have a daughter and a 5 year old granddaughter. My husband died this past August. I gave our granddaughter his glasses and a jacked I had made him. She was very happy. They keep him close.
I have my grandmother's antique diamond watch given to her by my grandfather who died long before I was born - diamonds surrounding the face, diamond band, platinum clasp...I never wear it because I'm afraid I'll lose it, so I keep it in the safe and take it out every once in a while and hold it. Still love her to pieces.
Yep. Hl2thDoc is right. Still have most of her books, too. And all of her office stuff and old photos. Been a tough 14 months.
My BIL still has many of my sister's things, especially knickknacks and collectibles, and she's been gone almost 12 years.
My Dad died in 2016, and I kept a LOT of his things, but as time went on, I was able to let go most of it. I kept his driver's license, his pilot's license, his sunglasses...small things that were important and/or personal to him. Books, etc., went to donations after a while.
Oh my… still new to the heart ♥️
I'm SO sorry you're going through this too. Don't rush your grieving...it'll happen as it's supposed to. I believe my husband will have MY 'stuff' out of the house in a week or less - especially my books, notebooks, anything I write (since he doesn't read). lol He's becoming so tetchy of late. NOT the least bit sentimental - it took
far too long for me to recognize that fact. So, YOU have to allow yourself to feel what you feel, enjoy going through the good days when they come - realize there will be more of those but you can't rush them. Allow yourself to heal. You are NOT being disloyal when you smile or even laugh at something you find funny. Being here is in itself very healing. We understand and care. Hugs.
I am 76 years old and still have most of my mother's jewelry. She died at age 39 in 1962. The most important thing I kept was her leather welding jacket. The men were fighting in WWII, so the women were working at home, including welding. My mom's name was Carmel Ann. I still think of her frequently, actually more now than ever.
Then don't. Jewelry is smaller & keeps better than clothes. And mementos are important.
Why do you have to? When you're ready, you can give it to your daughter, but you don't have to do that.
Dad has been gone awhile. His tie clips and cufflinks still mine. 🤗
♥️
I think it's okay to wait indefinitely. I'm so glad I didn't give away anything of my sister's. Of course, boxes everywhere can be difficult.
Let Katie decide about everything except her wedding ring. That you keep for sure. It goes with YOU. If Katie has - or plans to have? kids,
then she might want to pass some things down/on. Up to YOU and her. I made a list of those pieces of mine I felt should go to specific people. I don't have really expensive jewelry except a couple of things I was given by my father-in-law from HIS mother when his own daughter decided they were too 'big' and 'gaudy' for her (they're neither).. marcasite silver with blue topaz...stunning ring and bar pin - so he didn't try to inveigle her, immediately asked me if I wanted his mother's pieces. They're SO gorgeous - I wore them all the time, even to work - they went with everything and got so many compliments. Am still wearing the ring and still get compliments while I only occasionally wear the pin for fear of losing it. My sister-in-law's a bit of a fool, lol. Over the years hubby got me more pieces (earrrings, bracelets, watches) to match those 2 so it's become a 'collection'. I want my niece to have them. My lovely next-door Detective 'adopted daughter'/friend will get more since I have some nice pearls (I always wore pearls too) and all kinds of other 'stuff'. You might want to think of close friends who'd really love wearing specific pieces of hers? BUT it's entirely what you feel. Trust your instincts. Go with your gut. It's still much too early to make these decisions. You could make a list and shelve it for now.
I was the older daughter, so my mom left me her wedding ring. It was actually more in the style of a multi-stoned cocktail ring.
When my 2nd husband and I got engaged, I thought I'd just want to have a simple gold band . . . but reconsidered when I saw the sad look on Dan's face. So instead we chose a band with a few small side diamonds and we put mom's main diamond in the middle. And I proudly announced to everyone that my new husband-to-be had just bought a nice house for my mom.
And then I had the diamond from my first wedding ring inserted into the center of mom's wedding ring and gave that to my younger sister. Because that ring, which mom wore all the time, was such a part of her. I wanted my sister to have a piece of that.
And, BTW, I don't wear rings very often, but now when Dan and I go out and he's wearing his wedding band, I put on the one I now refer to as ROCKY!
My partner has all his wife's jewelry as well. My husband did not have much but I kept his as well. The clothes from both our spouses went to shelters as well. I kept a few of his t shirts that I wear now and then as sleep shirts.
Jewelry is very personal. Your daughter, and maybe a grandchild, would be honored to have it some day.
After 8 years, I am still wearing my sweetheart’s jeans and flannel shirts. Now I am retired I can dress like the retired wildlife biologist and park ranger he was. The jeans are wicked sturdy. And they are comforting. I can’t wear his hats, unfortunately. I should give those away.
Don't be in a hurry to give things away. Wait at least two years. You'll have more clarity on what you want to cherish and what you can give up.
I have not yet parted with my husband's Hawaiian shirt collection. Those fifty shirts live in the guest room closet. I visit them sometimes...
A friend who lost her husband had his favorite shirts made into a quilt which she uses in the guest room.
What a wonderful and beautiful idea.
I did that with all of my old concert t-shirts. Made a nice quilt.
I love this idea so much.
Oooohhh such a good idea!
Yep. Like that. So much brings back a wonderful memory.
I just have to poke my nose into this a wee bit: Older and used or not Hawaiian shirts are actually VERY collectible - especially to musicians (harmonica players I know love them since they're worn over the belts where they store their harmonicas onstage). They can be worth a LOT so just in case you end up needing money - they could be a good source if there're more than a few. Otherwise I love the idea of a quilt.
Very generous of you. The memories will remain as the hat moves on.
I donated my late husband's clothing to Disabled American Veterans since he was a veteran himself. I hope your donations give someone less fortunate joy in their life as I hoped my donations did for veterans. Today would've been my beloved's 72nd birthday.
On my deceased parents' birthdays I make it a point to have their favorite desserts; butter pecan ice cream for dad, strawberry shortcake (under a mountain of whipped cream) for mom.
Thank you for sharing those beautiful pictures with us. I have no words of wisdom, but I can see how much you loved and respected her.
Such a beautiful couple, and just look how happy they are!
The things one does in the first weeks of grief…. Buttttt your daughter and her friends had the chance to fish out something memorable and the women’s shelter is a great place for the rest to be.
I give lots of usable clothing and home things to the Women's Center for Advancement here in Omaha. It helps homeless women and families. and I get to clear out my apartment, a win-win.
Exactly… makes the heart feel good too‼️
Absolutely love the wedding picture! Always liked the current selfie, but love seeing the wedding picture! Thanks for sharing it. You made my Sunday morning! 💙
You both had awesome hair. Your whole lives. Which is quite unusual. You needed it to cover your awesome brains. That’s my story, anyway. 💚 Keep the pictures coming when you can. We love ‘em!
When I was younger, a very wise and prescient middle-aged woman told me and my cohort to "enjoy your hair." Now I know what she meant.
You did a mitzvah.
Every time I think about your loss, it makes me feel so sad and grateful. Sad because too soon, too sudden. Grateful to witness through your writing a love to behold and celebrate. Finally, it is a huge relief to know you have a daughter sharing this journey with you.
Another fabulous picture of you and your sweetheart, Jeff. Thanks so much for sharing Claudia with us.
After my dad died, mom had a teddy 🧸 made from his clothes. I wish she'd gotten 50 of them!
Handsome couple🥰
Her spirit lives on in every one of us who agree with you.
I see Larry David character in a skit about the hat there, Jeff.
Jeff
My heart aches for you
Bless you for doing that.
Not so much how young you were but how happy you are in that photo!
Awww. Sweet early picture. The age of innocence and hair with identifiable color in it. Those are what will keep you going during those days that seemingly drag so use them and remember the good times. You two sparkled for a long time and it showed. Be gentle with yourself.
What a beautiful picture of a beautiful couple! We miss Ms. Spouse too.
The photo is a great memento. Your smiles say it all!💖
I’m still keeping my late husband’s things and that’s not a good thing.
I glanced at your wedding photo while I was still reading the top section and I thought that Ms Spouse was Diane Keaton. Beautiful, both of you. 💞
Someone somewhere will LOVE that hat and Ms Spouse will be smiling at its new life! Good on you for reminding us about letting go (deliberately or not) of the Things while cherishing the energy that remains in our hearts and photos and (hopefully) our memories!
This was certainly Joe Biden’s fault.
You have the photo, and more importantly, the memory. And nobody can take those away from you! ❤️
I work with seniors and their families to move to a senior community or downsize. The hardest part about the transition is their things. They don't want to give up their things because of the memories they invoke. I try to gently remind them that the memories are in their hearts and in their heads. It is not the physical thing that holds the memory. By donating the items, someone else gets to create new memories
Can you please come to my house???
Me first! I have 49 years of 'stuff' accumulated here AND hubby just had to bring HIS Dad's collection of old tools and 'stuff' to stick in our single garage when HE passed (after living out here a few years) AND my mother used to shop in thrift shops, buy tons of junk, split it into 3 big boxes which us 3 siblings would find on our doorsteps getting home from work. Perhaps one item would be useful - the rest just garbage. Would it be tossed? NO, hubby would decide it needed to be 'gone through when we have time' so up into the attic it went. Now he's far too frail to get those boxes back down a ladder. This entire HOUSE is full of tossable 'stuff' which needs going through, lolol. Problem is - those who advertise they 'remove junk' don't differentiate, they just grab everything or I'd have hired them already.
Over the years, we inherited a lot of stuff from our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. When it was time to downsize, it was really difficult to get rid of things. There are two really helpful books, written by a woman who calls herself “Messie Condo” (a spoof on Marie Kondo’s “Tidy Up”). If you’re just trying to declutter, you should read “Tidy the Fuck Up.” If you’re getting older (like we are) and want to spare your loved ones the headache and devastation of dealing with the mounds of your belongings after you’re gone, I recommend “Nobody Wants Your Shit.” Both books are hilarious and offer some much needed tough love when it comes to parting with your (and everyone else’s) things!
This
I never knew Claudia, and now I miss her too. Be at peace
I believe that hats have a way of finding new owners. How often do you see a hat blow off of someone's head and they chase it down the street, never able to catch it? That hat is looking for a new owner. Unless it's a MAGA hat, then it's hiding until it can made into something else.
Okay, so somebody else now has the hat to enjoy. You're the one with the love story and the memories. ❤️❤️
I miss Claudia’s posts.
I just updated this post, because at the exact same time I was clicking the 'publish' button, Soybean Scott Bessent was whining to Maria Bartiromo about how Spirit Airlines was Joe Biden's fault.
https://x.com/Acyn/status/2050943567624057219
1. Joe Biden will be remembered for getting us out of a pandemic and getting our economy back on track. Donny will remembered for fucking everything up.
2. Your wedding pic is beautiful as is the picture of you two growing gray together.
Perfectly stated, both points 😻
THIS! How do so few people remember that Joe INHERITED the fucking AWFUL economy from the same orange fuckwit - AND insulted/disparaged our troops which is the very reason he decided to run for President? BECAUSE frump was so fucking dim-witted and terrible! He WON that election despite frump's incessant whining, trying to convince his magat cultists that he'd really not lost to that 'old man' - well now HE'S the old, rotting man (er, baby) who needs to go have someone build his mausoleum somewhere far, far away from Arlington else we really WILL have millions lined up to piss on his fat dead head.
The lame media has something to do with why so few people remember the economic mess Uncle Joe walked into and how he pulled us out of it. Even before the now state run media sold out and capitulated to a fascist bully there was always a double standard for Dems and the GOP. I remember Biden for all of the positive things he did for the country and am especially grateful to him for putting an out of pocket cap on drug costs under Medicare! I'm on a # of expensive meds and once i've reached the cap ( sadly by June), they're covered 100% for the rest of the year.
They have a lot to do with it. So many damn articles about people's vibes and so few about how fast Biden turned things around and made the economy better for the 99%.
Nailed it!
Don't you know only Democratic presidents have any power? Everything past present and future is there fault.
Funny how that works, isn't it? AND somehow their superman powers extend not only throughout their own terms but far past the next president's (or in this case presiDUNCE) terms as well. The ridiculousness of magats buying into 'it's all Obama's fault' then morphing that into: 'it's all Biden's fault' and BELIEVING that bullshit is so far beyond my ken I SCREAM at my own teevee whenever I hear or see anyone parroting the same stupidity..
Nailed both Kay!
💯 Kay-El
Oh, FFS!
Exactly!
As if these ass clowns couldn’t have gotten Spirit and JetBlue to a meeting to resurrect their merger. That mean old free-market loving and Reagan appointed judge who stopped it the first time would be kept out if the way. Those pesky antitrust laws, consumer groups? Ignored. Libertarians like some of what Donny does, but this government buying into companies ain’t one of them.
Remember when Mitt Romney was urging the administration and Congress to let Detroit auto industry fail ---and then Obama saved it with loans ? And the loans were paid back ahead of schedule ?
And The Republicans whined and complained about how the government shouldn’t pick winners and losers. Despite the fact that GM and Chrysler failing would have cost hundreds of thousands of jobs in the auto industry alone. Some opponents said it wouldn’t matter because the U.S. operations of foreign automakers would pick up the slack. That crackpipe dream fails to take the collapse of the automotive supply chain into account. The lack of a few components can bring manufacturing to a halt. The timeframe for ramping up production by suppliers and surviving automakers would have been about two years minimum.
THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh my god the whining and whining. And now Trump's sons are getting contracts, he toyed with the idea of taking over Spirit airlines, etc, and the outrage machine has nothing to say about it.
Not a peep or whimper or “deeply concerned” from the GOP. Of course, Holy Mike sent the House on vacation for two weeks. This time because I think he’s worried if he keeps it in session he’ll bet tossed from the speaker’s chair.
Certainly do George!
with interest!
With interest
I supposed they would prefer that Jet Blue go under, which may have been the case if they succeeded in buying Spirit. Then they'd be blaming Biden for allowing that to happen.
I would expect nothing less from these clowns than to assume the merger would have worked out perfectly. And if Trump is such a great deal maker, then why didn’t they have another offer that would have satisfied the Spirit bondholders, who turned the first one down? These morons can’t be gone soon enough.
If Libertarians like any of what Trump is doing then I have a major problem with them and so sbould everyone else.
There ain’t much about the Libertarian Party and its adherents that I find to be anything more than speculative. “If we just don’t have any rules, the people who don’t follow them won’t succeed because the market won’t let them.” Rubbish.
Someone said (can’t remember who) that Libertarians are just like Conservatives only more selfish.
Way back in the late 1980s, I worked for the largest Libertarian paper in the country, the Orange County Register. While the newsroom had shed the big L bent in its language and coverage, there still seemed a habit of covering the hardships of rich people. One writer who left wrote a piece for the alt weekly in which he summed up Libertarianism: I got mine, so fuck off.
I find it interesting that MAGA is starting to include Steve Buttigieg in blaming things on. He is a star rising in poles as a leading candidate for President. It will only get worse but Steve is very good at hitting back with actual facts. He is a very smart person, with class.
You must mean Pete Buttigieg is rising in the polls.
Sorry Yes you are correct. I do like Pete a lot.
LOL at least I spelt his last name correct, I think.
You’re Canadian - you get a pass. I’M a New Yorker and continually misspell his surname. Yikes, Pete, couldn’t you have changed it to something easier (a/la jd and all of HIS alternates?) ;) Yes…they’ve been lumping Pete in with President Biden as ‘whom to blame for things’. The things don’t have to be real OR exist on our Planet, but that’s what sets us and the magat cultists apart - WE tend to deal with reality.
Pete is an amazing intellectual Karen!
It’s Pete, not Steve, btw.
Mayor Steve?
Sean of the Dopes has blamed Buttigieg before. His post on Elon’s Nazi Bar drew a huge blowback.
Syncopate Sean is clearly threatened by Pete who is a composed, humble, intellectual powerhouse.
Are you referring to Pete by mistake or does he have an influential brother?
Sorry, early in this string I did apologize for Using the wrong first name. I really like Pete and he is so well spoken, knows his stuff, and has class when debating an issue.
Bessent is SUCH an ass! Just a giant, fucking ass!!
No, I think he's smart enough to KNOW he's lying. He's a gutless wonder and a sycophant.
Pissant is also a smug and pompous ass!
He looks like a camel. Except there is something rather appealing about camels. There is nothing appealing about Bessant.
And that SMIRK of his just makes me want to slap it off his face - every. single. time! I wouldn't - I'm non-violent, but boy--do I wish. AND nd if frump were standing right behind him it could be a two-fer. Indict me for THAT, lol. Has anyone thought perhaps the shell numbers on the beach were put there by a couple of newlyweds - or new home-owners? I'd fall down laughing if Comey had factual proof of this just waiting to play this as HIS 'trump' card. ;)
Beautiful wedding pic and always love seeing the more recent one. Love and light to you, Jeff ❤️
They all got their talking points! Not that they have been updated since he was preznit elect.
To those stupid enough to believe Arrogant Asshole Bessent, you do you. MAGA foo. See you in the rear view.
Oy!
Dammit Joe Biden!! Khaaaaaan!!!!
He was simultaneously a doddering old fool unable to manage the presidency *and* a master villain with his own skull-shaped island. Such was his genius. Dark Brandon rides.
Old Joe is tending to grandchildren and laughing his ass off right now.
I SO hope you're right, George. I want him to enjoy his life so much and not be in any kind of pain from his cancer. I just LOVED his 'Dark Brandon' with the sunglasses and that brilliant smile. I think that look, more than anything else drove the orange fuckwit so nuts he couldn't figure out just HOW to insult him when Joe simply ignored his dumbfuckery and the whole world could see the jealousy seeping from that big bag of rotting resentment.
For such a strong and capable president, his Cabinet treat him as if he were invisible or in another room when all these fuck-ups cropped up.
Bet Scotty never set foot on a Spirit flight. I went on one, and it was more than enough (company policy to fly the cheapest airline and route).
Nope, never have. Oh, I never revealed my nickname has been 'Scotty' for my entire life in the US? lol
My apologies, I’d hate to make your nickname a slur!
oh. no worries - was just making a wee (bad) joke. I've gotten that ' Beam me up Scotty' for SO many years I once got a little plaque to keep on my kitchen windowsill with 'Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here'. THAT fell flat since hubby thought it was referring to him, lol (HE'S called me Scotty ever since we met). It's another reason I feel fairly 'safe' posting here - almost no one thinks of or knows me as 'Elizabeth' with the exception of my harmonica-playing friends. I was just teasing you. Your post WAS most apropos.
Oh, Soybean Man 🤣🤣🤣🤣???
Of course he is . That's all they have left .
Oh my Lord that wedding picture. You two were so in love, and stayed so in love. What wonderful emotions emanate from both those photos and both of you.
Oh man that is so sweet. I like to think of what Chief Seattle said. "There is no death. Only a change of worlds." I see my dad all the time, so I tend to believe this.
Beautiful
I wish I could like this response 100 times ❤️
So much depth and beauty in that photo, and love the '80s vibe too!
I can't help but wonder what Jeff said to her that made her smile that way (while he watches her react, grinning).
He's not just watching her react, he's looking at her with the purest love and adoration, it's just such a lovely moment.
First time around it was on Obama…now it’s “sleepy” Joe who NEVER fell asleep during a Cabinet meeting…I love Joe, have for 50+ years and also supported him over all those years! The bloated Yam cannot own anything he’s done and will always blame everyone else but himself, people with a brain KNOW it’s not Joe…and where the blame rightfully belongs!
He was like that when he first started out in business in NYC & he hasn’t changed one bit
What a lovely woman. Thank you for sharing this picture. I can feel the love between you.❤️
Is everybody SICK AND FUCKING TIRED of blaming Joe Biden for everything? If we don’t turn this around in November, we are royally screwed.
Duffy sucks! ( as do the rest!)
If you don’t turn this around in November you deserve to be screwed. Just it won’t be very royal or vaguely classy.
I sure hope we do. Many believe the last election was rigged-and the percentage of people in his cult is a minority.
Because they KNOW we will win in a landslide, they will not let November happen. I’m going to pretend it will though while stocking my pad with everything. I’m now officially a hoarder of water and dry goods, and keeping a bullhorn and several squirt guns nearby.
We have not yet begun to feel the effects of Palantir. It’s coming. Batten down the hatches.
That scares the hell out of me. 😳
Same. More than anything else.
"Donny stayed the course on Iran"
Man, and the press wonders why no one fucking trusts them anymore.
After the occasional spasm of sanity, WSJ reliably veers back into batshit Murdoch rag territory
MAGA lexicon. War= misbehavior. Rape= hanky panky.
Guns = Freedum. Seashells = ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION.
Or is it Free_dumb?
Unless a Democrat does it.🙄
Trump no longer has anyone to check his worst impulses, not even the 140-character limit and the fact his best drawing was a pre-pubescent girl on his rape-buddy Jeff's birthday card. Somebody showed him how AI works (probably took ten tries to get his dim rotten brain to understand the concept of describing something to his phone) and now he shits in his gold recliner watching fox news and dipping his Big Mac in ketchup while fat-fingering shitty images that get treated as policy.
Welcome to the Blame Joe Biden Cinematic Universe, where a discount airline going belly-up gets retconned into Joe’s fault by some former reality-show background extra with a job title that sounds like it was made up by an OpenClaw HR agent.
Spirit implodes (that's what airlines do right? Remembers Braniff?) when Trump closed the Strait of Hormuz he took a welding torch to the birthday candle. Now the entire airline industry has a fuel bill written in blood and we get Sean “I Was On TV Once” Duffy, blinking into the lights and insisting this is all on Joe and Pete, as if Buttigieg has been sneaking into Mar-a-Lago at night to personally unscrew the bolts on every Spirit airframe. He's GAY too!
Iran is more powerful than ever. They have complete control over the Strait no matter how much Trump rage-tweets. The naval blockade of Iran starves the global oil supply, but to Trump it's “a very friendly blockade,” because Vlad's oligarch friends can cruise their megayachts through there. Maybe the Navy’s out there handing chocolates and scented candles to tankers they’re boarding at gunpoint? Sounds like the Hilton to me.
The odious Wall Street Journal editorial page applauds him for “staying the course” as if he’s anything other than a malfunctioning Roomba in bronzer. Worse than that, because he's jacked up on Adderall and steroids while declaring hostilities over and simultaneously threatening to start bombing again “if they misbehave."
And don't forget that 30% of polled Americans think this is a good job. As Carlin said, "think of dumb the average person is and realize half of them are dumber than THAT."
Man, I wish Carlin were here now.
Yes, he would have made mincemeat of the current regime. Fortunately, we have Josh Johnson to take up the slack.
Josh Johnson rocks! He had a really good one about being flagged by TSA for brass knuckles (which he does not own)
Yes! I love that story! Look for it, people. I won’t give away what the “brass knuckles” really were! This link might work: https://youtube.com/shorts/TRB-VIORaNQ?si=iHwew1VMuDC3D2UV
OMG - this story is hilarious!
Me too, but I'm also glad he doesn't have to suffer through seeing this shit. Ditto with my dad.
I lost my mother in the summer of '24. I miss her, but I'm glad she's not seeing what's going on now. She *detested* Trump.
Ditto with my Dad.
Same with my Dad. He checked out less than 2 months after Orange was inaugurated (in 2017).
Carlin would certainly contribute to the conversation!
But I also recommend Carl Hiaasen’s “Squeeze Me” for some excellent commentary on Mar -a-Lardo.
Hiaasen is king when it comes to the antics of Floridians, corrupt politicians and total hypocrisy. Love him—thanks for the recommendation of Squeeze Me!
I just borrowed,downloaded, Squeeze Me from my library. Will start reading it tonight. Hansen is brilliant 👏
Hunter Thompson would be nice. He was a real wood chipper!
Hunter S, Charles Bukowski, along with George Carlin would be great assets in this insane epoch Chris.
This long strange trip mighta been too much for even Hunter
Ditto Doc!
Goddamn Biden made it rain here this weekend. I mean, I guess it's a lot tamer than the snowstorm he brought us in February, but still ...
🤣🤣🤣
I hate when he does that
After all the crap he's stolen
He dreams up more shit to roll in
But his unfortunate ass wipers
Who have to change his diapers
Wish he would blockade his colon
(What a friendly blockade that would be)
EXCELLENT
Ahahahahahhaha!!!
Wow - your wedding photo made my day. 💖 Please continue to share with us when the impulse grabs you. Also, FUCK all of these people and the media that amplifies them. Every single day is like needles in the brain. 🧠 🔨
Mar-a-Lago's some hideous faces
Not human, just soulless embraces
With Botox and filler
They're like Douchebag Miller
Believing they're the master races.
Sometimes nocturnal dream trips
Play like surreal nonsensical clips
But it's most disturbing
And lastingly perturbing
To imagine Loomer's Mar a Lardo lips
Now that is just hideous.
Believing they're the master racists.
Perhaps?
On the money Frosty!
Thank you!!
👍
Love the photos of you and your beloved. My condolences to you.
My heartfelt condolences to you, Jeff, on such a profound loss. There might be a tiny glimmer of light, perhaps, in the knowledge of how much fun and laughter you have gifted to all of us. It's my birthday today, and as is always the case these days, I woke up to more bad news of our degenerate president and all his groveling sycophants. But then your column appeared, and I am now able to start my day with a smile and a chuckle!
Happy Birthday Rebecca!
Joe Biden ate my homework.
And then hacked it up on my rug. That damn Biden.
Frickin’ Biden gave my dog cancer! Unbelievable! 🙄
OK, can we make Biden Derangement Syndrome a thing?
The picture reminds me of a young Diane Keaton in the Godfather. 😊
I immediately thought of Annie Hall!
Yes, yes, yes! I was about to post that as well. Radiant and classic. May her memory make you smile.