434 Comments
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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I know everyone comes here for the funny — and you're supposed to! — but if you want real good nuts-and-bolts reporting on the intricacies of the Comey case, I recommend reading Joyce Vance's post.

https://joycevance.substack.com/p/what-happens-when-the-government

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Reminds me of when Trump said in 2017: “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.”

Seems that the same is true of criminal procedure !!! It's all way past the First Felon and his insurance lawyer. Duh !!!

😕😕😕🫤🫤🫤

Ipso fucking facto !!! (If I had $1,000,000, I'd pay it to hear Jeff Tiedrich say that to a judge in court.)

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

sorry to disappoint, but I'm pretty sure the the only thing I've every said to a judge in court was 'yes, your honor'

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Leu2500's avatar

You paid attention to the Shut the Fuck Up Friday lessons.

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Lisa59's avatar

Smart man!

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

Same.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

"I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."

-GW Bush

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Paula Dean's avatar

Ah yes, the Good Old Days, when W was the dumbest president in history!

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

I remember thinking at the time, "Good lord! Could a president *possibly* be any dumber?" 😕

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Charles Austin's avatar

Donnie makes Dubya look like Albert Einstein.😂

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

So it was YOUR fault we now have the dumbest fucking presiDUNCE in our entire history? Aaaaargh! And all this time I'VE been blaming my fellow NY'ers.

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

😔

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

You were not alone in your insight.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I think I hate the Orange Orc so much more, because he makes Shrub look almost presidential in comparison. I hated Shrub so much, I moved to Canada when my state handed him the election.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

You're doing a great job, Brownie!

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

Not just a great job, but a heckuva job!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Right you are!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

With Dubya we witnessed crisis management by dumb president... with the Orange Imbecile we get crisis management by devastatingly stupid and demented president. It's like someone on the Right asked 'I wonder what it would be like to elect a guy with dementia to the presidency, and then set about to find out.

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Mary Busch's avatar

Not only dumb but cruel. Chump gets off on being cruel. He is a malignant cancer on our body politic. Impeach. Convict. Remove.

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A.J. Madison's avatar

Remove with extreme prejudice.

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T L Mills's avatar

Geez, they should have been taking notes in the 80's--we had Demented Ronnie then, instead of Demented Donnie--but they were definitely equally demented!

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Robert Eckert's avatar

But Ronnie had a self-deprecating sense of humor instead of a festering narcissism

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T L Mills's avatar

True...didn't make him any more likeable as far as I'm concerned. A lot of his "jokes" were designed to deflect criticism. He was a lazy, mentally addled fool who absorbed what little knowledge he carried back in the 50's and thereafter refused to update what he "knew". He made up stories, too. He was as much a fabulist as Trump, Vance & Santos are.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

As a Californian, I object. He should have stayed in Iowa where he belonged.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

True, but Nancy kept a tight rein on him at the end. Melania is disengaged.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Melanoma does not give a fuck about anything. She absolutely does not give a shit about the mango moron except when she “has” to be present.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

GMTA.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

And really, in Rump 2.0, there have been no real crises, except events of his own making.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

They already knew, they elected Reagan. They merely wanted repeat the rape and pillaging they did under him.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

(just catching up - haven't even gotten to the next 2 days - doctor's visits and no heat got in the way so came back to pick up where I left off...) Seriously, 'I' think by giving him the courtesy of an actual diagnosis of 'dementia' it allows him off the hook for his LIFELONG vicious cruelty and downright malicious NEED to harm and go after those he perceives as 'less than' - OR perhaps it's 'better than' himself, so he CRAVES bringing them down by any means possible? In old fuckface's case by attaining a position of REAL power courtesy of Magats and Scotus, he gets to DO that by appointing the worst of the worst (dumbest, unqualified individuals) to all of those people who actually were/still are better than him - and always would be, such as Comey, Adam Schiff, Letitia James, Jamie Rankin...so many more - we know his list is growing to encompass Jasmine Crockett, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes, Brendan Boyle and now Republicans who 'went against me' in that fucking whiny voice (UGH) - and we KNOW his eventual target would be Barack Obama whom he LONGS to hurt/destroy in any way he could. This isn't just an 'enemies' or 'perceived' enemies list as I've called it - it's far deeper. He HATES people who are good or relatively good, decent humans, pr who do their jobs to the best of their ability regardless of politics and he especially HATES people with sympathy, empathy and who are loved. Above all, he's a racist FUCK who's hated Barack Obama because he LAUGHED at and turned the tables on him at the Correspondents' Dinner. It's then he plotted his revenge. Nothing more, nothing less. ALL the rest is so much 'estra' - and now he feels as if he's 'won' because MBS 'luvs' him and is giving him riches. UGH.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Dementia is a process which is superimposed on whatever the individual carried through life. It makes personality disorders worse. I’m not letting him off. I think he is absolutely odious.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I realize that. I too have called him a demented old fool/fuckwit (pick one). BUT I still think he isn't actually suffering from dementia - more along the lines of heart arrythmia/blockages from his lifelong fast food gluttony/cocaine/Adderall use AND his idea that he's somehow 'indestructible' or is a 'genius' (by osmosis)? courtesy of his Uncle. I think that now his failing health is finally catching up to him, his lifelong AWFULNESS is ramping up because he can't believe this would actually happen to 'him'. After all, isn't he 'the king' ? the 'chosen one'? Ugh, ugh, ugh. We've all played into it. (I'll probably STILL call him demented out of my rage against his OFFAL-ness. again). ;)

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Your over the top generosity is showing Kathleen, Jeff would do it, just for the fun of it, after saying yes your honor!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Jeff himself says that he's a tiger on paper and a pussy cat face to face.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Unfortunately, you’re on the money Kathleen, what else would you do with a Million &?

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Until I fantasized about Jeff flipping off a judge, I never had to answer that question.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Beautiful picture you painted there Kathleen!

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Today I really needed the funny. I had just gotten done watching the Epstein victims implore Congress to release the files, which was gut wrenching. That would have been enough mental anguish for one day. But then Holy Mike had to grab his holy mic and begin spewing the biggest load of bull shit I’ve ever heard, about why the files hadn’t yet been released. Spoiler alert: If you didn’t watch his word-vomit session, it’s all the Dems’ fault. And now I’m overflowing with rage. So yes, Uncle Jeff, “the funny” is very important. You made me laugh out loud today, which, until ten minutes ago, I would have thought was impossible!

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

I’m overflowing with rage most days, but recently a little bit of hope has been sneaking in there. Thanks to people like Jeff, Joyce and Heather, to name a few who have helped keep me sane these last 10 years…I don’t know where I would be without them. Hang in there! ✊Tick Tock Donnie!

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C8675309's avatar

I feel the same way! They keep me from losing my damn mind!

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AuntTeeFa's avatar

Yes! Our holy Trinity

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

After reading Joyce and Heather in the morning and if I have any small doubts they are cleared up by Jeff and his eloquent style by lunchtime. I think it's kind of a vernacular thingie.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

I have a very short temper, sometimes, but I only say things I might regret after I've thought through what the consequences could be. So, I've been married 45 years to the same man, but he's never actually heard them. Occasionally other people have, but they're not about to tell him. In the workplace, I made sure I'm covered financially (husband has a job), and then type out a letter of resignation, carefully omitting the reason why I'm resigning with no notice, pack up and hand it over on my way out the door. In my experience, overflowing with rage is okay, if you don't hurt anyone you may actually care about most of the time.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I feel the same way, but dare not hold my breath. I couldn't get through a day without Jeff, Joyce, Heather and Schiff (when he posts), and a couple of others who make my day with their "comment of the day" responses.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

🥰🥰🥰

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Carol Jacobson's avatar

Add Robin Snyder to that list.

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Punkette's avatar

Hear hear, sister Stephanie. Preacher Mike dared to call the upcoming Epstein vote a “show vote.” Fuck that sanctimonious little fucker. MTG, if you’re listening, grab Massie, Boebert, Mace and 5 additional R allies and file a Motion to Vacate the speakership today. Just do it!

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Yes, if they were serious about defending the victims they would have already done that.

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Christine Zepka's avatar

I muted that bastard!!

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I swear, reporter or not - IF ANYONE jabbed their finger at me and called me 'piggy'? my response would be 1) to tell him that HE most closely resembles a real life pig AND behaves like one; and 2) to kick him square in the balls. I would happily let them arrest me for the rest of the flight just to see 'that' singing soprano look in his toady little eyes. It's ALL caught on camera so would any judge really throw the book at her?

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Or you could say, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I'm on your side. HE called HER a "piggy"? But I'd kick them in the balls first, then tell them they resemble a pig. Jail would make me a hero, a martyr.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

It's always projection with that lot.

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DR Darke's avatar

At my best friend's house the other night, I walked in as Trump came on and started bloviating on CNN. She said, "He'll be gone in a minute", and he was still bloviating five minutes later when she finally grabbed the remote and switched to MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 on ShoutTV!

Donald Trump needs a Russian Echo—"Hel-loooo!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

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Leu2500's avatar

It takes more than a minute to babble incoherently about water, showers & dishwashers.

My God! When covid happened, people said historians would specialize by month. Can you imagine specializing in water, batteries or windmills when you study Trump’s history?

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Unsure if I've mentioned this before but I have a theory about his fucking 'drip, drip, drip-ping' showers and his 'you flush the toilets 8 times' and his 'dishwashers that don't work whining in that horrid voice. Hear me out for a bit: WHEN he bought that place it was ALREADY OLD. I 'think' it was owned by a rich old Heiress. It sits on a FLORIDA water table, ergo one has to: FIX THE FUCKING PIPES by bringing them up to date! But we ALL know the nasty old fuck was always too damn cheap to do that OR hire a decent plumber. I BET he got some joe schmo to finagle whatever he needed to work 'for long enough'. After all, he doesn't LIVE there full time - or didn't at the time, did he (the claim on his taxes)? His RESIDENCE was in NY (he said) where he could pose in all its gold fuckery with Melania and his then new little kid with HIS entire floor as his playroom. Of course, the plumbing THERE was so beyond pathetic as well - not up to date either with NO sprinklers (someone died - either in that building or one of his others he refused to bring up to date - a rich man, no less - when the fire trucks couldn't get to him because of the fucking HEIGHT), so he's USED TO always cheating the system and avoiding doing anything right. THEN he bitches about the water? In Jensen Beach -an hour North of there - MY mother's water was SO YELLOW from the rust it was completely undrinkable - AND left those ugly brown rust marks down the side of EVERY HOUSE, literally smelled and tasted to SULPHUR. None of us could tolerate it, so would pick up a couple of cases of drinkable water after we landed and bring them - we'd run out long before our visit was over. She'd buy the cheapest gallon sized water (not meant for drinking - more for other things) so I always felt so bad for my poor Dad = who died far too early, but that's another story for another time too. (Just a wee bit of truth in here - HE tried to buy the place IN Palm Beach out from under Jeffrey Epstein who'd already found and bid on it!) When Epstein found out he raised the stakes because HE had the money available while Frump did not, always depending on banks to loan him money. THIS time they wouldn't and he got PISSED. He wanted it, with his little clenched fists, throwing a tantrum, demanding that Epstein let him have it! Epstein bought it anyway and THAT is why they parted ways - it had ZERO to do with him 'poaching' his employees...another outright fucking LIE.)

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I have a 'go-to'. Either Cold Justice (tres apropos, Non?) or one of the zoo shows.

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DR Darke's avatar

Hers is MST3K, because even though we would've sworn we'd seen every episode there's always one we hadn't seen, or hadn't seen in so long we'd forgotten everything but "Oh, yeah, that movie!"

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KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Those dear women need to start naming names (they will need a lifetime of protection though).

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Nov 18
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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Well see, that’s because the MAGAts in office are playing 5th-dimensional chess while the Dems are playing checkers and obeying the rules of the game.

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Mps's avatar

Dammit

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

And the sickest part of all is that their supporters buy this brand of “logic.”

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Lisa's avatar

Adam Kinzinger did a recent rebuttal to this argument of the Dems not releasing the files way back when.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Trump made certain Bondi would open new investigations into Dems mentioned in the files, blocking the release of anything pertinent being released Cassandra. The documents reveal more dirt on the billionaire class and Israel, if you’d like to see a bit more:

https://open.substack.com/pub/dropsitenews/p/jeffrey-epstein-ariane-de-rothschild-ehud-barak-swiss-bank-israeli-cyberweapons?r=qvheo&utm_medium=ios

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Megan Ross's avatar

I wish the Dems HAD released the Epstein files and I'm still baffled as to why they didn't. Oh well...

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

PRECISELY because there WERE ongoing investigations which could be jeopardized and it wasn't 'allowed' under the law, which WE followed AND we knew then that repukes like frump would release ALL the victim/survivors' names out of spite AND to terrorize them when they weren't ready for the attacks/death threats since they'd been through enough/perhaps even their families didn't fully know. Today, even a huge number of them (out of the 1000 or so) don't care anymore and are willing to be named to get their justice. Time does change things, as it has for me and my own story. One has to walk in those shoes to fully comprehend.

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Cyndi's avatar

This 100%!

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Thank you, Cyndi. You get it. Much as I DESPISE sporky, I keep getting a 'vibe' that she just might have 'walked there' too given what she said after the House bill passed today. It gives me a wee bit of pause. AND the news tonight is that Senator Schumer TOOK IT TO THE SENATE who WILL PASS IT! Yes, it still has to go back to the House and THEN signed by the orange fuckwit - another major hurdle to overcome, but baby steps. We're getting there! These survivors are FINALLY being HEARD!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Democrats tend to play by the rules...If someone breaks the rules, it's a strong indication you're dealing with a post-Eisenhower republican (Nixon, Reagan, etc.)

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Megan Ross's avatar

From what I understand, Biden could have released the files with no vote from Congress. That didn't happen. I understand he was really busy running the country, but perhaps it would have kept TRump from a second presidency if he had released the information. Who knows...

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

He could not because Maxwell's case was pending and the DOJ was independent (as it was designed to be) then she appealed. People forget how we used to follow the laws about these things, until tangerini normalized breaking them.

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KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

To Mike Johnson, I say: "OK! The dems didn't release the files when they had the chance! Duly noted. Get over that. Now we have so much more damning evidence. WHY would you want to sit on that knowing that justice must be served?"

Oh....yeah....never mind.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

You do a great job of giving us a true and journalistic overview of what's happening, but you left out that our bear slaughtering, whale head chain sawing Secretary of Childhood and Pregnant Women Death and Disease Department was a full-blown heroine addict for 14 years with a currently active brainworm.

And Dregsbreath got his nuts busted again! THANKS!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Actually, the brain worm is dead, but that doesn't mean it isn't releasing toxic substances as it decomposes.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I want proof that fucking worm didn't reproduce before it died. I want to see the MRI. I want to see the damage. I want to gloat. I want to hold it up to the light and say to RFK, Jr. "Here's what the fuck is wrong with you!"

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Since he said it to deny his soon to be ex-wife any child support (and she eventually committed suicide) I want proof there ever was a worm, and that it is not a product of his heroin atrophied brain.

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kathiallyson's avatar

I normally resist any indulgence in the annoying habit of spell-correction, but I'm compelled to do it in this case. "Heroin." Not "heroine." Please. You, I and our fellow heroines don't deserve to be shuffled into the orange psycho's deck of substance-abusing accomplices.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I stand corrected for a typo. I do know the difference between heroine and heroin. I also know the difference between it's and its, their, they're and there, loose and lose, your and you're, and could care less vs. couldn't care less. So glad you normally resist the urge to call out typos; I suppose it wasn't my lucky day.

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Linda Weide's avatar

I read her post and I come to you for other things. Today I was reading a quote in the forward of the book "We" by Yevgeny Zamiatin. He loved quoting Anatole France’s slogan “Teach men to laugh at the stupid and the angry lest we fall prey to the weakness of hating them.” When I read that, I thought of you.

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Michael Guenon's avatar

Wow, read “We” in a Soviet film class at San Diego State (great class on film and literature), 1979. Thanks for conjuring a good memory in miserable times.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Michael, glad the class at least brought back good memories. Sorry the times were hard. My political book club is reading it and we tend to go through books slowly and discuss them in context of our times. Yevgeny Zamiatin is an interesting guy. I feel like he was better off then the people in Russia who capitulated to the Soviet State desire to turn people into cogs in a machine instead of individuals. He also says that the Soviet State under Stalin believed that freedom and happiness could not coexist, so we were discussing that. What were some of the films you saw? If you like Soviet Film, or film that refers to that time, I recommend the mini series "Soviet Jeans." You can see it on PBS Passport. Here is the trailer. https://youtu.be/HWWBektlT0c?si=diGz-TfTgU2s0bvV

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Michael Guenon's avatar

It was in 1979! A number of Eisenstein films on into the Stalinist period. “Battleship Potemkin,” of course; maybe “Strike”; “Mother”(Vsevold Pudovkin); “October: Ten Days That Shook The World”; “Alexander Nevsky” and I believe these are an accurate list emerging from the mists of time. It was one three-hour class session per week. Being on the semester system it was probably 15 weeks long, so there may have been other films. But as I said earlier, it was a great class offered within the history department.

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Linda Weide's avatar

It sounds very interesting. I did not have such a film course, but I did work in a revival movie theater that had a different double feature every day based on a theme usually. We got to see the movies for free, so if one worked the day shift you might stay after to see them or you could come in early and then work the evening shift. Not only did we get to see our movies free but we had a deal with most of the other theaters in the city, and a comedy club that we plus a friend could see a movie in their theater in exchange for them coming to us. It was my best college job ever.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

Ms. Vance's article is worth the read. While I'm not a fan of Comey, I am most definitely a fan of Democracy, and he deserves a fair trial like everyone else. I think the case will be dismissed, and Halligan should be disbarred.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

I don't understand why Judge Fiitzpatrick didn't just call game over and dismiss the case outright and immediately. Never give a Trump legal team a second chance. NEVER.

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DuduLovesBubu's avatar

I think he's trying to trap them with their incompetence. Get them to do something so corrupt that it will be a slam dunk case when accountability comes calling. Until then, Ms Strong Jaw Line needs to have her law license yanked right now!

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George in Atlanta's avatar

No no no. Don't yank her license too fast! Let's just enjoy it for a while. The judge is feeding her plenty of rope for her to hang herself. This is clearly more than just about her incompetence, though. Fitzpatrick wants to see the whole 'prosecution enterprise' of Trump's regime thoroughly discredited. Credibility apparently counts for a lot in the law, even the DOJ is finding that out.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

She's not done anything that would get her disbarred unless it was intentional, but she could certainly be censured. And we really don't want to wait for more - as entertaining as it is, and it is - because if you give your opponent time, they'll figure out a counter move. If you want to go in for the kill, figuratively speaking, you need to do it fast.

And humiliating Trump quickly always makes for a good day.

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Marla's avatar

I think he's giving them just enough rope so that he can dismiss this case with prejudice, which means they can't drop back 20 and bring it again.

I hope.

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Leu2500's avatar

Appeal-proofing the decisions. & he’s still after all the GJ records.

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Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I'm no lawyer, but he may not have had the authority as Magistrate; it may have had to go to the judge actually hearing the case to be dismissed, but I read Joyce Vance's explanation word-for-word, and I used to work for lawyers (I typed a lot of legalese) and I'm tellin' ya, what Fitzpatrick said is NOT GOOD. I believe the Comey case will be dismissed, but my belief means NOTHING.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Along with Bondi, Blanche, Pirro, all these idiots who put loyalty above the actual law

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Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

You were on fire today! Flippy McCrushnuts’! *snort*

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Ill cross post that, just for you Jeff.

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Barbara B's avatar

And be sure to follow her “here” link to read the 24-page (double spaced) opinion fromJudge Fitzpatrick. Almost as funny as Jeff. Hint: the incompetence goes back to Trump i.

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Megan Ross's avatar

I read Joyce Vance's Substack every day. She makes sense out of all the legalese so we laymen can understand what the hell is going on in our (No)Justice Department. I'm grateful for her expertise.

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Mps's avatar

And her chickens

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Megan Ross's avatar

I LOVE Joyce's chickens!💙

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Susie's avatar

Yes. I did and it helped me understand the “case” much better. Though your post made me laugh my big ol’ ass off about it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Christine Zepka's avatar

Not just the laughs Jeff, your insight is invaluable to me! 💜

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GeorgeC's avatar

Joyce Vance does a great job explaining the legal details.

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Teri Gelini's avatar

I read her piece this morning and it ws very helpful and clear. I also find your piece deliver a clear understanding in layman's terms of how things are going. I also appreciated the use of the skateboard scenario in this piece. Well placed in your article...

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Cyndi's avatar

If you feel like a very good legal explanation that sounds more like Jeff, you can also go to emptywheel.com.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Jay Kuo and Law Dork, Chris Geidner are good explainers as well.

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A.G.  Marak's avatar

Lolz, my dyslexic brain read the title as "Comedy prosecutor Lindsey Halligan". It's a cross between Joyce Vance and Jeff Tiedrich.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

it was fun trying to write this one while half the internet was all blown up to fuck. luckily, I didn't have too many videos or social media posts to extract

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I just had a thought about you Jeff. What if a standup comic had to write a whole new routine, every single morning? I don't want to destroy your confidence but fortunately we are surrounded by IDIOTS all the way down !!!

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Robert Eckert's avatar

The half of the Internet that was blown up (Xitter, ChatGPT etc.) was the half that I hoped would go away and never come back

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Damn!

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Jeff, no matter how many times I read “power loading his diaper,” it cracks me up. Shitler is so very capable of doing that and the visual is strong.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Fuckity bye cracks me up every time. There are so many pearls in Jeff’s pieces 🤓🤓🖖🏻

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Hollie Rood's avatar

Just like Flippy McCrushnuts😂😂Today’s reading was a powerhouse of laughs and truths told in a way “🐽 In Chief” never ever could / would recognize ‼️

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Peter's avatar

A couple of the legal substacks I follow think that Halligan's misconduct was so egregious that it could easily get both her and Blondi disbarred. Boo fuckin hoo.

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arne link's avatar

We can dream...

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

It's not really a dream. It's happened to lawyers based on their groveling to Trump. Ask Rudy.

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arne link's avatar

Ok, so not impossible. I like that.

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Joyce's avatar

"Make it so."

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Zija Pulp's avatar

Wouldn’t that be the icing on the cake?!

I’m putting that down as my number 1 gift from Santa.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Make it no.2

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Ah, too clever! You are correct though. It is what I want as well.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

The three stooges reference is pure gold! I’m in a museum and I’m trying not to be TOO loud! 😂😂. Lindsey is likely to lose her law license and when she does maybe she can sell insurance. Hey State Farm? You hiring?!?

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I forgot to say a HUGE thank you for the Nutsmacker GIF. Made my day!👏👏👏

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Joyce's avatar

Pete Kegseth, soon to be starring in a Kennedy Center production of The Nutcracker.

That gif is a thing of enduring beauty.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

It's the ultimate palate-cleanser after a hard slog through all the Trumpdrek.

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

Great new brand name for skateboards !!! 😂😂😂👍

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Touché!

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Tess's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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AuntTeeFa's avatar

💯

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

That 3 Stooges clip reminded me of how much I hated the 3 Stooges when I was a kid.

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Paula Dean's avatar

They are an acquired taste. I hated them as a child, but watching them as an adult - albeit a stoned adult - was hilarious.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

The male brain is pre-disposed to them somehow. Women can acquire the taste, but I think your extra chromosome leg resists it somehow.

The Stooges were consummate professionals. Their act was perfection for what it was. If they were alive today, they'd look at the Trump regime and sadly shake their heads, announcing their retirement because "they got nothin'" after that.

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arne link's avatar

Well, c'mon. Watching pretty much anything while stoned is hilarious.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh, I loved them… even tho I was kinda worried someone would really get poked in the eye! 😂😂

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

I thought they were mean and scary. And Moe always reminded me of my older brother.

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arne link's avatar

Never liked them, but I was already a teenager when they came on the scene. My little brothers loved them.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oooohhhh.... well, that'll do it! We used to try to imitate Curly with his Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I hear that. And can relate, slapstick never did it for me, and the bullying dude was mean.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The 3 Stooges were a training series for little siblings throughout the nation. Eye poking became every parent's nightmare.

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

yep. and head slaps.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

Okay, the Stooges are a guy thing, mostly (I appreciate you, Susan!) and the show was from an era of early TV, when old geezers like me were still little nubbins. We grew up with the Little Rascals, Lassie, and lots and lots of cartoons. Let’s face it, as little boys, we were knuckleheads. That stuff was crazy funny to us. The antics were so outrageous, we knew it was just a joke. But, times change and it’s understandable that some people would now find it offensive.

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Michael Guenon's avatar

Sorry. My sons and I are devoted to the 3 Stooges’ films with Curly. Yes, we would sit and watch the Columbia shorts. I grew up with them and shared that with my sons. It was not the physical comedy but the mangled language that cracked us up.

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Nightmaher's avatar

I felt the same MzNicky!

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I remember watching their show as a kid. I was/am warped enough to like it🤓 “Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch…” Damn, why do I remember such shit when I can’t remember my phone number🤔

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Dave Drell's avatar

Susan: I can hear you laugh at :

Flippy McCrushnuts

5,000 miles away!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Flippy McCrushnuts! Perfect! 🤣🤣 It's not cool to snort laugh when you're viewing a Picasso exhibit. I got the look from one of the docents. HAHA!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Oh, I'll pass...

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Pass on Picasso?

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Absolutely. I have a basic revulsion to any type of modern "art". My last visit to a "modern art" museum was to the Tate in London in 1973. It just doesn't have the same soul as the Greek art from the Archaic Period.

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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Mary Greenwald's avatar

If they hire her, I will take my business elsewhere.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

The Three Stooges were foolishly funny. The Drumpf Stooges are intentionally cruel, evil, and greedy

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Susan Niemann's avatar

POINT!!!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

What museum???

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Charles Austin's avatar

Lindsay from State Farm.😂😂😂

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Good choice of photo with Halligan posed in front of that ridiculous “Gulf of America” tripe photo. Jeez I’d no clue just how deep was the dumbfuckerry reserve in this country.

Great choices today.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

She has the MAGA self-satisfied shit eating smirk perfected

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Remember Jenna Ellis? She also had that smirk perfected. A small-time Colorado lawyer and product of Christian college, all she got for her loyalty was disbarment, threat of prison, and getting blasted by Rudy's fart.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Good. She and her family have that over the top evangelical self righteousness, even as they do bad things. Fucking hypocrites.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Deeper than Lake Superior, I fear.🙄

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I am going to say this, quoting myself in doing so, so get ready, Jeff, because its juicy.

"It's the unmistakable fetor of institutional decay, the kind that seeps into your nostrils and settles deep in your sinuses like a fungal infection of the soul. Every breath you take, you're inhaling the decomposition of democratic norms, the putrefaction of accountability, and the rank corruption of a government that has decided protecting powerful predators takes precedence over protecting children."

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/the-top-of-the-week-crazy-how-the-fuck-did-we-get-here

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

👏👏👏👏

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Ok, I’m gagging 🥴

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Alison Parker's avatar

Guess this is what happens when the number you're concerned about regarding your lawyer isn't her LSAT score but rather her measurements.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I think thats being generous.....Albeit hilariously generous.

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Alison Parker's avatar

How is it being generous?

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I was attempting to make a joke.

(im not always successful at that).

LSAT vs a Womans's Measurements, Both have a lot of intimidating numbers to these idiots and makes em feel like they arent good enough.

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Pam Humphrey's avatar

Truth.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I sometimes do that....it doesnt always work though.

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Bob Bowden's avatar

Orange Shitler thinks a hung jury is a group of twelve well endowed men who can’t agree about which lawyer is more f*ckable

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

In private enterprise, he could get away with not knowing what he was doing.

BTW, that "quiet, piggy" would have gotten "looked in the mirror lately, Chubbo?" out of me.

As we move a step closer to the characters after "Animal Farm."

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Mary Hall's avatar

Not fat shaming here, but T💩p's NY arrest records show that he is actually 5'10" and 287# which puts him in the really fkin' obese category of the BMI chart.

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

And I have no problem with fat-shaming him, a) because he does it himself, and b) he has no shame.

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arne link's avatar

Jeffrey was known to be fairly short. When you see them together in the "best Pals" photo you can see that they are similar in height. Guess Donnie forgot his shoe lifts in that photo.

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Taft territory

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Cyndi's avatar

Just dying to see the staff have to pull Orange Obscenity's obeseness out of the White House bathtub but his hands and feet.

I just want to see his face right then -- a strange thing given that I hate the sight of him!

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Let's hope he pulls a Jim Morrison.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I have always said there was no way he was 6 feet tall. He looks short, when next to a six foot tall man, or woman.

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Joyce's avatar

I have been waiting decades for any woman whose looks have been insulted by that mobile stack of garbage to snap back, "What--no mirrors in your house, sonny?"

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Jodi Richard's avatar

For anyone who has Instagram, this woman brought Jeff’s “what the fuck is wrong with you?” Question to a whole new level. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRNBoSpkYBc/?igsh=MWVtODA0amQydHdxYQ==

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

That’s great!

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Schnauzermom's avatar

That was…perfection!

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I hope the journalist agent orange made that remark has grounds for suing and does so. What a fucking bastard🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Jeff, Lindsey is a 3rd rate insurance attorney who knows nothing about criminal law, procedures or most important…. telling the truth. This judge busted her and her lying game, busted her for not including a 2 hour gap in the GJ proceedings. Inexperienced? Why yes. She could not get a line prosecutor to sign the charging papers due to the fact they did not want to lose their licenses. I’m sure she will when her actions are referred to her local bar ethics committee. She’s throwing her career away for a guy that doesn’t give a shit about anyone else except himself… but hey… she’s got good looking hair🫣

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

The most terrifying thing is Halligan's declaration that Comey has no Fifth Amendment rights. She is an ignorant and vicious asshole.

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arne link's avatar

Is she married? Maybe she's just there to snag a rich old man.

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Joyce's avatar

Of no significance if she's married--because, with this crew, that is no barrier to seeking a financial upgrade. Exhibit A: Mrs. Nosferatu dashing off with Elonia Musk: clearly her motivations were not an upgrade in looks or personality departments.

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

$$$

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Dave Drell's avatar

Arne- rich old man- you mean DRUMPF? Could it be a marriage made in heaven?

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Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

"A rich old man and she won't have to worry. She'll dress up all in lace and go in style".

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arne link's avatar

I love that song.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Only if you're already in hell.

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Christine Zepka's avatar

Didn’t know that! What a twit.

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Jacki Weaver's avatar

Extensions

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Lisa's avatar

Why do all the maga women in the regime, who are middle aged, have these wicked long hair extensions? I honestly don't understand it. The time and money involved to try and look younger is so blatantly obviously thirsty for something. How about just being confident, competent, and proud of one's accomplishments?

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Paula Dean's avatar

Not possible... so botox and hair extensions it is.

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Paula Dean's avatar

(although they DO have 'confident' and 'proud' - just no 'competence')

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Dave Drell's avatar

What accomplishments?

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Lisa's avatar

Yeah, I know. I threw that in there for sarcastic votes:)

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Christine Zepka's avatar

I believe that you just answered your own question. 🤣🤣

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

That is the MAGA clone "uniform".

You would have to have some accomplishments, that cult does not allow women to have those. If they get a law degree it's only to give money to Liberty U. Not to give them an actual education.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Kind of like an updated Stepford Wives saga…

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Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Yes, except they have been doing it for generations.

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Charles Austin's avatar

The Bunny Ranch is in her future 😀

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Eric Smith's avatar

Jeff when you talk about the moron-in-chief I’m reminded of an over-the-top old insult: “His mind is a vast cosmos of empty space occasionally traversed by a cliché”. You are essential reading as I have my coffee in the morning. Thanks.

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arne link's avatar

Um, just be careful with the coffee. Some of us have had incidents.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Indeed. I have nose-blasted on some ties whilst reading Uncle Jeff. Not proud of it.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Try wearing a bib

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Susie's avatar

That’s just brilliant! Gonna use that. Thanks. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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Mary Hall's avatar

Regarding Jeff's "WTF is wrong with you?" challenge -- Thom Hartmann has had an ongoing challenge on his radio show for anyone to tell him a piece of legislation that was sponsored by a Republican and supported by Republicans in the last ~40 years that actually helped the middle-class or poor Americans. Hint: There isn't any because they DGAF about us.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Eggs-actly! And this is why we all pretty much despise Republitards- they are worthless “public servants” who take a salary, grift a bit, bribe a bit, and don’t do much for the common good.

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Paula Dean's avatar

True! Not since Raygun!

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Ole Anderson's avatar

The judge in the case is contemplating giving access to the Grand Jury transcripts to Comey’s defense team for them to determine how much their case has been compromised by the ineptitude of DOJ.

This is an almost unheard of granting of GJ materials access to a defendant. This shows you just how badly prosecutor Barbie has screwed the pooch on this one. Can you say Law career down the tubes, boys and girls?!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Ineptitude for sure, but also enormous malfeasance. DOJ has been flushed into the cesspool.

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Cats 🐈🐈‍⬛'s avatar

Disbarment for bondi and halligan is a good start. Prison sounds even better!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

All cats and their companions agree.

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Walt Svirsky's avatar

I’m pretty sure I can find some more species to go along, LTBW. Pretty damn sure.

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Annabelle's avatar

Someone ought to slap the livin' shit out of twatwaffle and then slap him for shittin'!! How dare he actually call a female reporter "piggy" I Swanee, I don't believe I could hate a person more than I hate the traitorous tangerine twatwaffle. For many, many reasons

Thank you, Jeff, for sharing your wit and wisdom with all of us

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Of all the (long list) of nasty shit he has said, let’s just say what Uncle Jeff said he’s declining and his insults are not clever at all anymore just flat out mean. He’s lost it, honestly piggy? Not even grade school.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The piggies are all the Republicans who worship the demented lard ass and applaud his verbal diarrhea. I hope they never, ever recover as a party.

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Annabelle's avatar

I agree, Douglas.Nothin' clever about it. Just hateful

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Scottish much? Y'all have the best verbal assault vehicles. Hats off.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Not Scottish. I'm betting Southern Belle...'Swanee'?

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George in Atlanta's avatar

"I Swanee" is an archaic Scots-Irish oath. Could be Appalachian.

Annabelle, help us out here?

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Annabelle's avatar

Very Southern. I live in Kentucky, but sound like someone from Georgia. Always have

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I am with you, Annabelle! I never thought I was capable of so much hate towards one person. Guess agent orange has brought out the best in me 🤨

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Annabelle's avatar

He absolutely brought out a part of me i didn't know I had!! Horrible, horrible excuse for a man

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Holy teenage sleepover talk, Batman. "Lindsay Halligan is a really good lawyer' and she LIKES you, a LOT!" 🤗❤️💁‍♀️

Good grief.

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Guess that’s another of agent orange’s DOJ job requirements. The most important part is ‘a lot’.

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Jenny Daly's avatar

With all the shitfuckery going on in this admin, a day like today reading about this Halligan train wreck is a welcome respite. I'm smiling ear to ear.

God god, did I just say shitfuckery? I used to be a sweet little old lady!!! hahahahaha Then I started following Tiedrich. :)

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Paula Dean's avatar

I'm noticing the same change in my 'little old lady language'!

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Gina's avatar

have to watch myself

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arne link's avatar

I've given up watching myself. These are serious times, and we have the right to swear.

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Tess's avatar

BEST POST OF THE DAY!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Now uncle J has made you a foul mouthed lady. It happens.

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