California, fuck yeah

Republicans started this war. Democrats are going to finish it.

yesterday, the California Legislature passed, and Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law, the Texas Can Go Fuck Itself Act of 2025.

the legislation will enable a special election to be held on November 4th that will ask voters to grant final approval to newly drawn congressional districts in order to shitcan five Republican seats in the US House of Representatives. current polling indicates that voters favor the shit out of this plan.

California, fuck yeah.

“we got here because the president of the United States is struggling. we got here because the president of the United States is one of the most unpopular presidents in U.S. history. we got here because he recognizes that he will lose the election and Congress will go back into the hands of the Democratic Party next November. we got here because of his failed policies. those are being exposed hour by hour, reinforced today by Walmart announcing they’ll be raising prices, because of the tax increases. because of the tariffs. we’re reminded every day by a slowing economy, growing mistrust, distrust, all across this nation, across the board, he is failing. he recognizes that, and that’s why he made a phone call to Greg Abbott, asking for five seats. he can’t win by playing by traditional sets of rules. he plays by no rules. I remind you all the time: it’s not the Rule of Law, it’s the Rule of Don — and we’re standing up to that. we’re responding to that.”

it cannot be stressed enough that it shouldn’t have to be this way. California shouldn’t have to do fuckery to counter Texas’ fuckery.

in a sanely-run country, every state’s maps would be mandated by an independent commission that would divvy everything up in a fair and non-partisan way. y’know, true representational government. none of these fucked-up amoeba-shaped districts like the one that enables the shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan to be reelected over and over in perpetuity, despite being one of the most-useless pantloads ever to stalk the halls of Congress.

but we don’t live in a sanely-run country. we live in the United States of the Stupidest Bullshit Ever, where every fucking thing has to be a battle.

it’s the dumbest possible way to run a country.

but this is a battle the Republican Party started — because they know their policies fucking suck, and they can’t win free and fair elections. so they’re all the hell with playing fair, let’s just cheat our way to victory. it’s the Donny Convict way.

you want a battle? fine. go fuck yourselves. we’re going to do things the Untouchables way.

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here’s another stupid hyper-partisan battle our country should not have to be fighting right now: is the current president a drooling imbecile, or what? — because fucking duh, he absolutely is.

this is an actual thing that happened yesterday: Donny phoned into one of these MAGAfied hate-radio programs, and proudly announced that he was going to personally patrol the ‘dangerous’ streets of DC that very night, like some fucked-up geriatric Batman.

“I’m going to be going out tonight with the police and with the military, of course,” Trump told conservative host Todd Starnes. Trump has previously described the national capital as riddled with “crime” and “dangerous.”

here’s what happened next: Donny waddled over to the U.S. Park Police operations center and gibbered like a maniac for half an hour, about all the usual nonsense the demented old fuck obsesses over — like grass.

“one of the things will be redoing is your parks. I’m very good at grass, ’cause I have a lot of golf courses all over the place. I know more about grass than any human being I think anywhere in the world. and we’re going to be regrassing all your parks, all brand-new sprinkler systems, the best that you can buy, like Augusta. no, it’ll look like Augusta. it’ll look like, more importantly, Trump National Golf Club, that’s even better. but we’re gonna look, we’re gonna have all brand-new beautiful grass. you know like everything else, grass has a life. do you know that? grass has a life. you know, we have a life and grass has a life. and the grass here died about 40 years ago.”

what the fuck? what grass? who gives a shit about grass? where are these parks that Donny’s so horny to turn into shittier versions of his shitty golf motels? above all, why is the president of the United States wasting one second of his time on grass? doesn’t he have a real job?

oh wait — no, he doesn’t. Nosferatu McGoebbels is actually running the country, leaving Donny all the time in the world to regrass all our parks.

I guess this is a good place to remind everyone that my What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge is now in its 1,950th day.

also, I’m pretty sure I know one guy who’s better at grass than Preznit Fuckwit.

so, how did Donny’s patrolling of the streets of DC go last night?

it never fucking happened.

after Donny’s blither-session at the Parks Police HQ, he waddled back to the White House, and that was that. Donny presumably spent the rest of his day flopped on a couch, watching himself on TV.

once again, America’s Mad King goes completely off the rails — makes a huge boast about how he’s going to personally patrol the streets, does a crazypants speech, and then disappears without doing one second of “patrolling” — and everybody just shrugs and goes ‘yeah, that happened.’

none of this is normal — and once again, we’re all numbed by the firehose of insanity.

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and now here’s what might just be the dumbest imaginary battle ever, because it’s over a corporate logo.

“sparking some ire” is really underplaying what actually happened: the worst fucking people on the planet completely lost their shit.

“In college, I worked at @CrackerBarrel in Tallahassee. I even gave my life to Christ in their parking lot. Their logo was iconic and their unique restaurants were a fixture of American culture. No one asked for this woke rebrand. It’s time to Make Cracker Barrel Great Again.”

dude gave his life to Christ in a Cracker Barrel parking lot.

bro, you might want to ask Christ for it back — because you desperately need to get a life, if this is the kind of nonsense you’re getting all worked up over.

also, Byron — are you sure that was Christ? are you sure you didn’t get mugged by a junkie? because I’ve seen a lot of skeevy longhaired dudes in parking lots in my life — and none of them turned out to be Jesus.

here’s the new logo, and yeah, it sucks. it’s charmless and sterile, but so what?

and how it is woke? I can’t figure it out. Charlotte Clymer can’t figure it out.

They believe someone like me—a progressive trans woman—is cheering on the new logo change, which I find very confusing. I’m genuinely confused.

Tragically, I am something of an expert on anti-woke propaganda—which is an incredibly sad and pathetic area of expertise—and my hand to god, I honestly don’t know why rightwing influencers think I should be happy about the logo change.

does MAGA really need to turn every fucking thing, no matter how insignificant, into a culture war battle? it’s a corporate logo. of course it’s sterile, that’s been the trend in logo design for a over hundred years.

MAGA was so up in arms over the logo change, that Cracker Barrel stock plunged right into the shitter.

Cracker Barrel shed almost $100 million in market value after its stock plunged Thursday following the release of a new logo. The new design eliminates a longstanding drawing of an overall-clad man leaning against a barrel, in favor of a cleaner logo featuring just the chain's name.

Christ in a Cracker Barrel, how incomprehensibly idiotic is that?

free clue for MAGA: normal people don’t obsess over shit this stupid. normal people don’t see everything as an ideological battle to be fought tooth and nail. normal people don’t glue their identities to a corporate logo. corporations don’t give a fuck about you. just like Dear Leader. he doesn’t give a fuck about you, either.

look, MAGA — if you hate the new Cracker Barrel logo, maybe you’ll like this one better.

because seriously, the only thing you need to know about this whole made up controversy over a fucking corporate logo is that Donny’s name is on every page of the Epstein Files.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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