as if you needed more proof that Donald Trump is fucking nuts

Trump averted a nuclear holocaust, don'tcha know

Donald Trump is stark barking bonkers. this we know.

but every now and then, there’s an item in the news that reminds us that as big a lunatic as we imagine Trump to be, the reality is that he’s a fuck of a lot worse.

The New York Times got their hands on the deposition Trump gave last April as part of New York AG Letitia James’s civil fraud case against him and his company — and oh boy, is it a doozy.

the megalomania, the narcissism, the arrogance, the insanity — it’s all on display.

I’m sorry, what?

yes, you read that right.

this is the kind of fucknuttery that rattles around in Trump’s deteriorating brain. and here’s the thing: the question Trump was answering here was a simple one having to do with the Trump Organization, and he went off on a long ramble about how he kept Kim Jong-un from blowing up the world.

MR. TRUMP: I was very busy. I was — I considered this the most important job in the world, saving millions of lives. I think you would have nuclear holocaust, if I didn’t deal with North Korea. I think you would have a nuclear war, if I weren’t elected. And I think you might have a nuclear war now, if you want to know the truth.

but that’s Trump. ask him a simple question and you get a long, rambling answer packed with bullshit and buffoonery, having nothing to do with the topic at hand.

for seven excruciating hours, it went on like this, with Trump never passing up an opportunity to whine about how unfair it all is.

MR. TRUMP: The banks — the banks are shocked by this case. That’s my opinion, because they’ve never had anything like this. Do you know the banks were fully paid? Do you know the banks made a lot of money? Do you know I don’t believe I ever got even a default notice, and even during Covid, the banks were all paid? And yet you’re suing on behalf of banks, I guess. It’s crazy. The whole case is crazy.

oh, and there was this gem:

MR. TRUMP: And friends of mine have said, you are the most honest person in the world. So we’ve done a good job. Don’t get credit for it. That’s OK.

the prosecution’s lawyers were exasperated.

CHRISTOPHER M. KISE (lawyer for Trump): We’re going to be here until midnight if you keep asking questions that are all over the map.

KEVIN WALLACE (lawyer for Letitia James): Chris, we’re going to be here until midnight if your client answers every question with an eight-minute speech. So let’s get down to business.

and this is why none of Trump’s lawyers ever want to put him on the witness stand in an actual trial. it would be a twenty-megaton technicolor shit-show.

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also in the news is this bit of schadenfreude. hold on to your hats, because Donald Trump’s crappy app is on the verge of failure.

Trump’s Truth Social facing a key funding deadline

The ‘blank check’ ally of former president Donald Trump’s media start-up was once a stock-market star. It’s now days away from potential liquidation.

that’s right, the guy who failed at running a real estate empire and failed at running casinos and failed at running an airline and failed at running a football team and failed at running for reelection is now failing at running a social media app.

Now, almost two years later, the deal faces what could be a catastrophic threat. With the merger stalled for months, Digital World is fast approaching a Sept. 8 deadline for the merger to close and has scheduled a shareholder meeting for Tuesday in hopes of getting enough votes to extend the deadline another year.

If the vote fails, Digital World will be required by law to liquidate and return $300 million to its shareholders, leaving Trump’s company with nothing from the transaction.

hashtag sad.

we’re as flabbergasted as you are, Rick. how could we not have foreseen that this dipshit stumblefuck would fall on his stupid face once again?

the fact is, Truth Social has become a ghost town.

Similarweb’s estimate of how many people in the United States visited Truth Social in July from either a desktop computer or their phone’s web browser totaled just over 1 million, down nearly 20 percent since June. (There is some overlap, given that users can access the site on both their desktops and phones.) Three times as many unique visitors in July visited the websites for The Old Farmer’s Almanac and the Denver Gazette.

though to be fair, the information in the Farmer’s Almanac is a fuck of a lot more accurate — and entertaining — than anything you’ll read on Trump’s shitty twitter clone.