Admiral Bone Spurs hates his sailors

the crew aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln deserve better than this

goddammit, it’s a Sunday in August. there shouldn’t even be any news right now.

did you know they used to call this ‘the silly season’? that’s because back in the day, everyone in Washington would be on vacation right now. Congress, the president, the lobbyists — everyone. there would be no news, and so political writers had no choice but to report on stupid shit. state fairs. pie eating contests.

we don’t get a silly season any more. that’s not how the malignant toad in the Oval Bordello rolls. now, it’s just fuckery in our faces, twenty-four-seven, three-sixty-five.

lucky us.

on Friday, the White House press corps made the mistake of asking Preznit Fuckwit to comment comment on the plight of the five thousand sailors who have been trapped aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln for the last eight months, without milk, fresh food, fully-functioning toilets, or even a day off.

there are so many things our Shitbag-in-Chief could have said.

‘this is an outrage.’ ‘I’m going to get to the bottom of this.’ ‘we’re going to make this right.’ ‘I’m demanding Piss-Drunk Pete give me answers.’

but none of that happened. what seeped out of Dear Leader’s rancid anus-mouth pretty much boiled down to ‘those sailors haven’t suffered enough.’

reporter: “has the deployment gone on too long?”

Donny: “no. not nearly long enough.”

and then five-time draft dodger walked away.

what the fuck is wrong with this guy? it’s so easy not to be a complete piece of shit, and Donny can’t even manage to do that.

this is exactly what we’re talking about when we say that Preznit Fuckwit doesn’t have the temperament to be president. he doesn’t care. he’s incapable of caring. he doesn’t understand why he should care. it doesn’t even occur to him to pretend to care. he’s that fucking broken inside.

this is not a person you want in charge of the well-being of an entire nation, much less a ship with five thousand sailors on it.

but there I go again, making the mistake of expecting empathy from the shithead who had the nerve to call fallen service members ‘losers and suckers.’

instead of doing something for those sailors, Donny’s hanging out with his diaper nurse at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery. instead of demanding answers from his piss-drunk Secretary of Death, Donny’s posting AI-generated slop of himself and George Washington signing shit.

oh please. as if Washington and Donny would have ever been besties in real life. you know that if they ever actually met, Old George would have never stopped smacking Donny upside the head, and going ‘what the fuck is wrong with you? America doesn’t have kings, you stupid shit.’

but just try explaining that to Donny. he’s not listening. he’s too busy posting pics of himself and his new bff in his vulgar Epstein Dance Hall. what even the fuck?

“Thank you, George, for some of your brilliant ideas on this great Military Complex/Ballroom! President DJT”

have you noticed that Donny is now calling this fugly piece of shit a ‘military complex’? that’s his ploy to get his five corrupt flunkies on Supreme Court to rule that he’s A Very Special Boy Who Gets To Build Anything He Wants, Because National Security.

look, the White House already has a 5,500-squre-foot situation room. it’s fully staffed around the clock with military and intelligence personnel. Donny doesn’t need an additional military command center under his stupid fucking dance hall, unless he’s planning to go to war against We the People — and I wouldn’t put it past him to do so.

presidents aren’t supposed to wage war against their own people. presidents aren’t supposed to profit off their office. presidents aren’t supposed to build useless monuments to themselves. that’s not what presidents do. that’s what the tinpot authoritarian leaders of shithole countries do.

and I fucking swear, if Donny posts one more infantile picture of him with George Wash—

goddammit.

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despite the assurances of Piss-Drunk Pete and Preznit Fuckwit that the sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln are having the times of their lives, they’re not. conditions totally fucking suck.

even Jake Tapper — of all people! — was roused from his slumbers and actually committed a journalism by interviewing the spouse of a service member aboard that ship.

Tapper: “joining me now on the phone is the wife of a service member who is currently aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln. we’re not going to use her name, or his, to protect their identities. thank you so much for joining us. what is your husband saying about conditions on the ship?”

spouse: “my husband is appalled at the conditions on this ship. this is not his first deployment. this is not his first time being out there, and he is saying that it is this is the worst deployment that he has ever been on. and he also said that his shipmates say the same. the food is appalling… it’s not just the quality. it’s the quantity. it’s the rationing. the portions are awful.”

this is what happens when you take a gin-soaked weekend chat show host with no qualifications, and put him in charge of an entire nation’s military. this is what happens when the piss-drunk chat show host’s first official act is to fire everyone who would have known how to handle this situation.

this is what happens when you don’t bother to plan in advance, because you thought the unwinnable don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war that you stupidly blundered into would be over and won in a single afternoon.

do you know why the sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln can’t get fresh supplies? it’s because Iran blew up our naval base in Bahrain on the very first day of the war — the one that Preznit Fuckwit and Flippy McCrushnuts started for no fucking reason at all.

it’s all so completely stupid, and it was all completely avoidable.

but instead of doing anything to improve the nightmarish conditions aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln — instead of calling Piss-Drunk Pete into the Oval Bordello and reading him the riot act — Donny’s on his crappy app, assuring the world that he and his despot bestie in North Korea are getting along just fine.

Despite the unfriendly look on this particular picture, there are many where we’re smiling, Kim Jong Un and I get along GREAT! President DONALD J. TRUMP

who fucking gives a shit? seriously, what is the context here? has anyone been worried that Donny and Kimmy were on the outs? or was this just a matter of one of the raccoons that live inside Donny fat head chewing through the wrong wire, causing Donny to ask his diaper nurse, ‘hey Natalie, do we have any pictures of Kim Jong-un? there’s something I need to get off my chest.’

he’s such an utter fucking embarrassment.

look at what else Donny’s wasting the entire Navy’s time on.

The U.S. Navy is considering a major redesign of its new aircraft carriers to better match President Donald Trump’s preferred aesthetic for the warships, according to seven current and former U.S. officials familiar with the matter.

of all the stupid shit to fixate on, with his own sailors unable to get a decent meal. Donny doesn’t like the way our aircraft carriers look. he wants them to resemble the ships that he sees when he watches old war movies on TV.

I can’t even fucking believe that I just typed that sentence. Donny is forcing the Navy to waste billions of dollars to redesign all their aircraft carriers because television.

why is Donny doing this? because he’s a demented fucking moron, that’s why.

wouldn’t it be nice if Donny cared as much about the sailors aboard his ships than he does about the ships themselves?

look what else this idiot is forcing the Navy to do.

President Trump ordered the U.S. Navy on Thursday to remove the electromagnetic catapult system on aircraft carriers to launch fighter planes and revert back to using steam catapult systems, a move that officials and experts argue would raise costs in the process.

this, too, is going to cost the Navy billions of dollars — and there is no reason at all to be doing this. the old steam tech is not better than the new electromagnetic tech. but Donny, of course, believes he knows more about aircraft carrier launch design than all the aircraft carrier launch designers.

why does Donny believe this? because he’s nuts. he’s out where the buses don’t run. he’s cuckoo for cocoa puffs. his brain has gone fuckity-bye.

dammit, it’s the middle of August. I shouldn’t have to be writing about any of this shit right now. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SILLY SEASON. ISN’T THERE SOME PIE EATING CONTEST I CAN REPORT ON—

oh thank God, Chuck Grassley’s at the Iowa State Fair.

My compliments to the sheep barn at the Iowa state fair for having warm water when u wash ur hands Pretty nice

now somebody please make me log off before I do something like point out that THE BATHROOMS AT THE IOWA STATE FAIR ARE IN BETTER CONDITION THAN THE ONES ON THE USS ABRAHAM LIN—

oh shit, my head just exploded.

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let’s just get out of here with some Daily Claudia.

oh look, it’s the two of us, way back in the early 1990s.

and this arty one is also from the early 1990s.

have a great Sunday, everyone. and don’t worry — Kim Jong-un and I are still the best of buds.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.