actual antichrist speaks at Christofascist playdate

scenes from another stark barking batshit event

as I have written before, Preznit Fuckwit is what would happen if the seven Deadly Sins became a real boy. let’s run through the list: pride — yup. greed — you betcha. lust — just ask Ivanka. envy — no shit. gluttony — have you seen his waistline? wrath — ducked any ketchup bottles lately? sloth — the lazy fuck drives his golf cart right up onto the green.

and yet, somehow, maddeningly, America’s Christofascist shit-gibbons have brainwashed themselves into believing that this malignant amoral pantload is God’s Own Avatar On Earth.

it makes not one fucking lick of sense. Donny is, of course, not God’s Own Avatar On Earth. he’s a very naughty boy.

I mean, I’m pretty sure that someone who was actually God’s Own Avatar wouldn’t cheat on his first wife with his second wife, and then cheat on his second wife with his third wife, and then cheat on her with a porn star he paid to shut the fuck up about it.

but try explaining that to the Christofascists. it would be like talking to a wall — a very sanctimonious, convinced-of-its-own-infallibility wall.

yesterday, a bunch of these god-bothering fucknuggets invaded our National Mall, in order to hold what they called ‘Rededicate 250: A National Jubilee of Prayer, Praise & Thanksgiving.’

that’s a mouthful and a half, but long-story-short, the goal of these ‘Rededicate 250’ goons is to hijack our nation’s 250th birthday celebration of the Declaration of Independence and co-opt it as part of their effort to turn America into a Christian fascist theocracy, with God’s Own Avatar as its forever-king.

Donny’s totally down with this fuckery, because of course he is. all this God’s Own Avatar blather feeds right into his bottomless ego — and so he paid for yesterday’s Christofascistpallooza, using our taxpayer money. you’re welcome, America!

this fever-swamp fantasy of the United States as some kind of Christian nation isn’t just vile — it’s outright wrong.

Heather Cox Richardson, can you do us a solid and step in here for a minute to explain why our founders would have considered this ‘Rededicate 250’ shit abhorrent?

Thomas Jefferson, the key author of the Declaration of Independence, and James Madison of Virginia, the key thinker behind the Constitution, both wrote explicitly about the importance of keeping the government separate from religion. Jefferson wrote that “religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship.” “[T]he legitimate powers of government reach actions only,” he wrote, “[and] not [religious] opinions.”

thank you.

as Prof. Richardson explains, Tommy Jeffs and Jimmy Mads wanted no part of any state-imposed religion. that’s the one of the very things they were declaring independence from: a nation ruled over by some fucked-up king who could force a single set of beliefs on an entire populace.

credit: Jesse Duquette

that shit’s fucked, yo. that’s why we have a whole First Amendment about it. ‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,’ remember?

anyway, let’s get back to this Christofascist dog-and-pony show on the National Mall. Donny was the main event. dude was the headliner, the Big Dog who would be speaking after six hours of appearances by lesser lights.

so, when it was his turn to orate, did God’s Own Avartar come bounding out onto the stage and deliver a barn-burner of a speech?

no, he most certainly did not. he didn’t even show up. he lazy fuck phoned it in. his handlers sent over a heavily-edited tape of an obviously-impaired Donny struggling to read from a prepared text.

that’s it. that’s what the cultists waited six hours for. a prerecorded two-and-a-half-minute who-gives-a-shit of a ‘speech.’

what the fuck? the National Mall is right next to the White House. it’s less than a mile.

it would have taken Donny four minutes to motorcade over there and make a speech in person, but he couldn’t be bothered. way to disrespect your own worshipers, asshole.

here’s a fun thing: most of the cultists didn’t stick around for Donny. after enduring six hours of speech after speech from long-winded geriatric shitweasels like Franklin Graham — who droned on incomprehensibly about the transgenders and the gays and the men in the women’s locker rooms — the vast majority of the attendees got the fuck out of there. by the time they got around to playing Donny’s tape, it was to mostly empty seats.

oof, how humiliating for Donny.

so, why wasn’t God’s Own Avatar at the event? because he was too busy cheating at golf.

but wait — it gets better.

after the video of Donny’s pre-taped speech hit the socials, folks started noticing that Donny’s short speech seemed rather familiar.

yup, that’s right. the video that Donny’s minders sent to the Christofascists was the exact same one that was shown three weeks ago, as part of that ‘America Reads the Bible’ bullshit.

how very God’s-Own-Avatar-ish.

that’s the utter contempt Donny feels for his cultists. not only couldn’t he be bothered to show up for an event that was literally next door, he couldn’t even be bothered to sit down in the Oval Bordello and spend five minutes recording a new video.

hey, you Christofascist shit-kazoos — how do you like that big slice of Fuck You Pie you just got served?

---

meanwhile, Donny — no doubt aided an abetted by that creepy Ivanka-looking weirdo Natalie Harp — had a busy day on his crappy app, posting THIRTY-THREE TIMES in the span of a TWO HOURS.

perfectly normal behavior, am I right?

it was just one crazypants AI slop after another. I mean, what in the actual fuck?

do Donny and Natalie not understand how completely deranged this infantile shit makes him look?

oh look, President Chestbeater is issuing threats again.

“For Iran, the Clock is Ticking, and they better get moving, FAST, or there won’t be anything left of them. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! President DJT”

the entire population of Iran just rolled its eyes so hard in unison that it almost threw the Earth off its axis.

oh my god, the ‘Clock is Ticking’ — until the next time Donny changes his mind. how many threats to completely obliterate Iran are we up to now? I’ve lost count.

but my favorite part was when Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants posted to his feed what was obviously supposed to be a private text.

I HOPE EVERYBODY AT REDEDICATE 250 IS HAVING A GOOD TIME. IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP, JUST HAVE OUR BEAUTIFUL, BOTH INSIDE AND OUT, RACHAEL C.D., GIVE ME A CALL. I’M BACK FROM CHINA!!! President DJT

twenty-four hours later, the post is still on Donny’s feed. if you’d done something that bone-headed, wouldn’t you have deleted it?

what a moron.

---

okay, now check out this guy who phoned into C-SPAN over the weekend. he claims to have voted for Donny three times, and he has some regrets.

“it’s hard for me to say this, but I think, if i can open up about it in public that it might help others, I wanted to believe Trump was the real deal for a long time, even though I had doubts because I knew enough about his business history to think otherwise. but now I regret my support for him and I should’ve known better.”

“he’s the worst president we've ever had and he’s the most corrupt president we’ve ever had. I know it's hard, it took me a while to be able to say that. very difficult when you commit yourself to believing in somebody.”

I don’t know whether to congratulate this guy for finally coming to his senses, or to be super pissed off at him for being a fucking idiot who voted for fascism three times. if he knew about Donny’s long business history of being a fraud and a failure, why did he vote for him in the first place?

commenters, what the consensus? how do we feel about this dude?

---

now I want to take a moment to thank my fellow members of Lake Mohegan Park, who put a new bench on the dock and dedicated it to the memory of Ms. Spouse.

thank you so much. you people fucking rule.

---

and now for your Daily Claudia.

here she is in October 2016, talking to our son-in-law Norrin Hester, on the day he became our son-in-law.

that’s bride Katie on the left, in red and mostly obscured.

have a great Monday, everyone. try not to post any private texts to your social feeds — and if you do, fucking well delete them.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.