a trifecta of fuckery: Republicans are evil, a play in three acts

three items in the news, each worse than the other.

act 1: fuck straight off, you voted against it

we know that Republicans are duplicitous double-dealers. we’ve seen this in action over and over — and we got to see it in action again yesterday.

on Monday, the White House announced that the federal government will begin to distribute over $40 billion in funding for broadband. you’ll be shocked to learn that most Republicans voted against the legislation that makes this possible.

that didn’t stop them from falling all the fuck over themselves in a mad dash to be the first to claim credit for it.

here’s failed football coach Tommy Tuberville, that useless lump from Alabama, doing his best to pretend that he’s not a complete obstructionist piece of shit.

hey, remember when Canadian anchor baby Ted Cruz famously fled to Cancun while his constituents froze to death in the dark, all because Texas’s power grid is a failed hunk of worthless junk?

two years have passed, and not one thing has been done to improve the power grid down there. it’s still a rickety piece of shit, and Texas is in the middle of one of its worst heat waves on record. highways are melting in Houston right now, yet Ted Cruz won’t lift one finger to help his state.

but stick a microphone in Ted’s face and he’ll gladly hog credit for things he had no part in accomplishing.

way to go. now run along, Ted, they just announced that your flight is boarding.

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act 2: Flip-Flop Ron abandons another principle

once upon a time, Ron DeSantis was a bland moderate Republican. it’s hard to believe now, but he actually supported some pretty reasonable policies. that was before he realized that he could consolidate power faster by dropping any pretense of moderation and becoming the torture-loving fascist shithead that always lurked under the surface.

one by one, we’ve watched him flip and then flop on every issue.

DeSantis was for Juneteenth before he was against it. flip. flop.

he was for vaccine mandates before he was against them. flip. flop.

now he’s flipping and flopping on prison reform.

But as a congressman, DeSantis voted for a House version of the bill in May 2018 containing some of the same provisions he and his campaign now condemn.

A CNN KFile review of DeSantis’ comments as a congressman and governor also found that he once supported early release for some prisoners and said he was open to easing mandatory minimum guidelines – provisions in the First Step Act, the prison reform bill, he now says he would repeal.

flip. flop. can’t be seen as soft on crime now, can we? and, as always, cruelty is the point.

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act 3: Donald Trump really really really wants to do his daughter

ewww.

there’s always that one asshole in the office who just can’t shut the fuck up about his sex life — who he’s fucked, who he wants to fuck, who he finds attractive, what he’d do to her, and on and on. eventually, you learn to avoid the guy when you see him coming.

but if that one asshole in the office is the President of the United States?

Former President Donald Trump made sexual comments about his daughter Ivanka that were so lewd he was rebuked by his Chief of Staff, former Trump official Miles Taylor writes in a new book.

"Aides said he talked about Ivanka Trump's breasts, her backside, and what it might be like to have sex with her, remarks that once led (former Chief of Staff) John Kelly to remind the president that Ivanka was his daughter," Taylor writes.

oh god. oh god oh god oh god oh god. what a pig. what a filthy, degenerate pig.

this disgusting pervert. can’t someone just lock him the fuck up already?

(the book is “Blowback: A Warning to Save Democracy from the Next Trump.”)

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