a shutdown is averted, but Kevin McCarthy is still a feckless dipshit

all he did was kick the can down the road

it’s morning in America!

the sun is shining. the birds are singing. colors are brighter. food tastes better —

wait — who the fuck are we kidding? we woke up into the same stupid bullshit world we wake up into every godamned day.

all that’s changed is that the government hasn’t shut down, and we get to repeat this whole absurd charade 45 days from now.

in the end, feckless fuckface Kevin McCarthy folded like a flimsy house of cards and came running to the Democrats for help.

yesterday morning, McCarthy introduce a continuing resolution that would keep the government running at current funding levels for 45 more days. the only changes were the addition of funds for disaster aid, and the removal of additional aid for Ukraine.

after weeks of tantrums and posturing, after countless demands to gut government programs, to defund the Trump investigations, to punish the military, and on and on — at the end of the day, the bomb-throwers walked away almost empty-handed — and believe me, they are fucking pissed off at McCarthy.

the resolution passed 336-91. every Democrat but one voted in favor of it, and 90 Republicans — all the usual shit-flinger suspects — voted no.

but of course, nothing has really changed. Congress merely kicked the can down the road until the middle of November, when we’re going to go through this whole kabuki again — the same threats, the same tantrums, the same uncertainty — except this time, we could have a new Speaker (more on that below).

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the day wasn’t without some really silly drama — somehow, New York Democratic Rep Jamaal Bowman set off a fire alarm in the Cannon Building, causing everyone to be evacuated, and delaying the vote by maybe an hour.

Jamaal says that he misread the sign on an emergency exit, not realizing that opening it would trigger the alarm.

but to hear the Republicans tell it, JaMaAL bOwMaN tRiEd tO sToP tHe vOtInG wHiCh iS tHe WoRsT cRiMe EvEr aNd hE mUsT bE eXpeLLeD fRoM oFfIcE AnD tHrOwN iNtO PrIsOn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh please. sit the fuck down, you hyperventilating performative-nonsense jagoffs.

if you couldn’t high-five fast enough when a fluorescent tangerine moron sent an armed mob to overrun the Capitol and hang his own vice president because he was too big a fucking baby to deal with losing, then you have no business saying shit about someone who merely opened the wrong door. put a big smelly sock in it.

better luck with your next manufactured controversy.

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and there was this final bit of supreme clownfuckery:

immediately after the continuing resolution passed, infuriatingly-unindicted sex pest Matt Gaetz — who hates Feckless Kevin’s guts — tried to introduce a resolution to remove McCarthy as Speaker, but the House was gaveled into adjournment before Gaetz could get two words out of his mouth.

Big Angry Matt will have to wait until the House is back in session tomorrow to try to shitcan Kevin.

(in fact, as I was in the middle of writing this, Gaetz was on CNN, promising to oust McCarthy this week. appearing on Face the Nation, McCarthy countered that Gaetz is just an angry poop-head who likes to see his big stupid face on TV.)

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the rest of the day passed without much spectacle.

the Senate passed the resolution with only nine Republicans voting against it, and with Mitch McConnell vowing to restore funding for aid to Ukraine “before the end of the year.”

Turtle Mitch and his colleagues may be malignant evil motherfuckers, but they’re not bomb-throwing nihilists, and they do understand that the best way to serve their oligarch masters is to keep the government running.

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so, here we are, with a 45-day reprieve. nothing has changed, and tomorrow will be more of the same old bullshit.

welcome to another day in Dysfunctional America.