hey MAGA, Dear Leader thinks you’re stupid for believing the truth about Jeffrey Epstein
thank you for your attention to this matter
loyal MAGA patriots, please stand by for a personal message of the utmost importance from Dear Leader. ready? here it is:
“they want to talk about the Epstein hoax. the sad part is, it’s people that are really doing the Democrats’ work. they’re stupid people.”
I hate to break it to you MAGAs, but this is Donny’s messaging now: that thing that actually happened, and that he encouraged you to believe in for years, is a now a hoax, and you’re an idiot for believing it.
ok, I lied. I fucking love breaking it to you that Dear Leader thinks you’re an idiot. how’s it feel, cultists, to find out that the guy you’ve devoted your life to just dropped you like a sack of potatoes?
oh look, it’s time for another Reading from the Book of Dumbfuck.
oh joy, we’re in for a rehashing of every grudge and grievance. buckle in, here comes some turbulence.
The Radical Left Democrats have hit pay dirt, again! Just like with the FAKE and fully discredited Steele Dossier, the lying 51 “Intelligence” Agents, the Laptop from Hell, which the Dems swore had come from Russia (No, it came from Hunter Biden’s bathroom!), and even the Russia, Russia, Russia Scam itself, a totally fake and made up story used in order to hide Crooked Hillary Clinton’s big loss in the 2016 Presidential Election, these Scams and Hoaxes are all the Democrats are good at - It’s all they have - They are no good at governing, no good at policy, and no good at picking winning candidates.
fact check: [mimes jerk-off motions]
Joe Biden brought us out of a pandemic, and our economy recovered at a rate faster than almost any other country in the world.
now, here comes the juicy part.
Also, unlike Republicans, they stick together like glue. Their new SCAM is what we will forever call the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax, and my PAST supporters have bought into this “bullshit,” hook, line, and sinker. They haven’t learned their lesson, and probably never will, even after being conned by the Lunatic Left for 8 long years. I have had more success in 6 months than perhaps any President in our Country’s history, and all these people want to talk about, with strong prodding by the Fake News and the success starved Dems, is the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax. Let these weaklings continue forward and do the Democrats work, don’t even think about talking of our incredible and unprecedented success, because I don’t want their support anymore!
holy shit! Donny just actually called his cultists ‘weaklings,’ and said he doesn’t want their support any more!
Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
YES, YOU NOW HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
look, we get it. all that fuckery Donny got caught dead to rights doing, he’s always been able to sell it to the cultists as a hoax, just by shouting hoax hoax hoax until it sticks.
that shit’s worked in the past, but it’s not working with the Epstein Files, because Donny has a serious problem: he’s taken his own credibility out to the gravel pit and noemed it until it was dead dead dead.
hey, remember when this happened?
remember when a bunch of left-wing commie influencers were invited to the Biden White House and were each given their own binder labeled “the Epstein Files, Phase 1”? that was—
[taps earpiece] hang on, I’m being told that these are MAGA influencers who were at the White House in February of this year, and those binders were handed to them by Donny’s own flunkies.
MAGA remembers that day. they ran around punching their fists in the air, and shouting about how at last, the truth will out! — and now the cultists are being told they’re ‘stupid weaklings’ for believing the thing Donny handed them and told them to believe.
and what about the literal hundreds of photos and videos of Donny and Jeffrey partying together?
are MAGAs now supposed to believe that all these images are part of some ‘deep state’ conspiracy?
let’s check in with the cultists, and see how they enjoy being called ‘stupid weaklings’ for believing ‘bullshit.’
“Donald Trump just said he doesn’t want my support anymore because I care about the Epstein Files. Goodbye, Mr. President. You just lost me.”
oh dear — I don’t think they’re buying it.
“gaslight us harder daddy”
check out misshapen garden gnome Charlie Kirk. on Tuesday, Donny personally phoned Chuckers and begged him to shut the fuck up about Epstein. it worked…
…for about 24 hours. it turns out that even bizarre lawn ornaments hate being called stupid.
oh. huh.
over at MechaHitler’s Nazi Bar, the hashtag #trumppedofiles has been trending for days now.
so yeah, things are going just swimmingly right now for the Mad King.
oh, is it time to play Easy Questions, Easy Answers again?
[raises hand] wait, I know the answer to this! Alex, it’s because Donny’s a self-destructive imbecile.
as he’s done so many times in the past, Donny’s made things worse for himself. what he should have said was nothing — because let’s face it, the cultists are dumb as fuck, and they’re easily distracted. if Donny had played this right, the whole thing would have already burned itself out, and MAGA would have moved on to the next shiny object. but Donny can’t ever keep his rancid anus-mouth shut, and by calling his cultists stupid weaklings whose support he no longer wants, he’s once again shoved his dick into a hornet’s nest and clownfucked it into a frenzy.
good going, dumb-ass.
here’s another thing that happened yesterday. tell me, does this firing make Donny’s ass look guilty?
Maurene Comey was a lead prosecutor on the investigation and prosecution of Epstein and his former girlfriend and accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell. Maxwell was convicted and is serving a 20-year sentence.
oh sure, let’s take the one person in the Department of Justice who knows all the dirt on Epstein, and make her job go fuckity-bye — right as interest in the Epstein Files is reaching a fever pitch. there’s nothing suspicious about the timing at all.
that Maurene is James Comey’s daughter is just icing on the cake.
I don’t know about you, but President Guilty McGuiltyguilty sure sounds like he’s guilty of something.
reporter: “President Trump, would you consider appointing a special counsel to investigate the Jeffrey Epstein investigation?”
Donny: “I have nothing to do with it.” [hurries the fuck away]
one thing is for certain: Donny would like to THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO ANY OTHER MATTER IN THE WORLD
“I have been speaking to Coca-Cola about using REAL Cane Sugar in Coke in the United States, and they have agreed to do so. I’d like to thank all of those in authority at Coca-Cola. This will be a very good move by them — You’ll see. It’s just better!”
it looks like Donny’s plan is to distract us with another round of Things That Never Happened The Most™.
Donny, come clean. were you speaking to Coca-Cola, or were you speaking to a bottle of Coca-Cola? is that bottle in the room with us right now?
it’s a legit question, because when NBC News contacted Coca-Cola for comment, they were all we’re putting the what in what now?
hey Gavin Newsom, are you distracted yet?
No Fucks To Give Newsom is my favorite Gavin Newsom.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
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